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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

@vsm  Her youngest lives nearby, her oldest who is a nurse lives 4 hrs. away.  She would never, ever let those girls go with her.  Her oldest daughter called the Dr.'s office once to make sure they knew about an issue she was having.  My niece swore me to secrecy that she called.

 

Of course, Dr.'s office didn't tell her anything but my niece just wanted them to be aware of what was going on at that time.  It was a year ago and I don't remember what the exact problem was.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

@mom2four0418   I don't nag her all the time.  However, when our phone calls consist of her complaining that what they are doing, treatment wise, isn't working, yes I nag her to get her butt to the right kind of Dr., a cardiologist.

 

 

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,268
Registered: ‎10-14-2016

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?


@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

@mom2four0418   I don't nag her all the time.  However, when our phone calls consist of her complaining that what they are doing, treatment wise, isn't working, yes I nag her to get her butt to the right kind of Dr., a cardiologist.

 

 

 

 


@CrazyKittyLvr2   It sounds like you've done just about everything you can.  Maybe some tough love is the next thing to try.  Next time she complains about her health tell her that HER health problems are causing YOU to much stress, and unless she is finally going to do something to get healthy, you don't want to hear her complain.

 

I don't know if that will work, but nothing else is getting through to her.  Good Luck.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 144
Registered: ‎07-03-2018

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

I cannot bring back my brother but maybe I can offer a little insight to what may be going on.  We all automatically assume that your sister has shared her diagnosis with her husband and children.  That may not be the case, my brother did not tell his adult daughters about his. I knew but was under the assumption he was taking care of himself.

Your sister has a daughter that is a nurse so she is certainly aware of how serious an illness this is especially if not treated properly.  Another very sad factor is the cost of health care and medicine and what may or may not be covered.  I live in MA which I think has one of the best health care systems in the country.  My brother was taking approx 12 different meds a day.  He had very good health care coverage but at say 12 diff meds with a copay of $10.00 ea would still be costing $120.00 a month out of pocket. I hate to put the financial aspect out there but that could be a consideration also.

From what you are saying your sister's CHF is getting quite bad and she needs immediate qualified help.  If her primary care will not give her a referral to see a cardio specialist then it is time for a new primary care doctor. Hockey Nut John did not pull any punches with what he said but it needed to be said.  He is a perfect example of how someone can live a quality filled life with CHF. 

If your sister does not take care of herself she is not going to be there for her daughters and grandchildren.  They will be taking care of her.

Do an internet search on end stage CHF, diabetes, cellulitis and or vasculittis.  It is just as bad as what is written about it.

I truly hope you and your sister's family can get through to her. --Sincerely, Karen 

 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

@kare29   Her DH and kids know her diagnosis.  She is on Medicare and has a good supplemental insurance.

 

I understand she has a host of other heath issues and is sick of seeing her various Drs. But it's a heart for Pete's sake..  That plus she thinks she has to be available for everyone else (which doesn't make sense considering what could happen to her).  She seriously thinks nobody can manage or figure something out without her.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,335
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

When she starts to complain again I would tell her I didn't want to hear it anymore since all your advice and suggestions fall on deaf ears and change the subject or end the phone call.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,055
Registered: ‎08-25-2010

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Get her to a cardiologist, even if you have to drag her there! As I’ve noted in previous posts, my (now) 94 year old aunt has CHF. Her primary care physician had been treating her, but not very effectively. She was taken to the ER this time last year because she had fallen and couldn’t get up. I honestly think that fall saved her life. She was diagnosed with chronic CHF and pneumonia in both lungs. She was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks so they could stabilize her, then sent to rehab for another 2 weeks. 

 

My aunt had had always been active and in good shape. She was also a very independent and private person. Her legs were about twice their normal size when she went to the ER. I don’t think she had fluid seeping from her legs, but she had some sores that had scabbed over and were very itchy, so she had been scratching them. She was sent to a nurse practitioner who’s a wound specialist. In addition to treating her scabby legs, she told my aunt to stop wearing her traditional nylon compression stockings and use cotton compression tubes that allowed her legs to breathe, but were easier to put on than cotton compression stockings. They come on a roll that we order from Amazon for her. You cut them to size and they can be washed and air dried, so she can reuse them multiple times. 

 

Even after they get your sister’s CHF under control, it’s very important for her to keep her legs elevated. Also, if she’s able, she should walk as much as she can. This may not be very far at first, but walking also helps reduce the water retention. At first, my aunt could only walk around in her house, then she was walking to the top of her street, and now she walks for about a half-hour everyday. 

 

If your sister’s taking Lasix for her fluid retention, she needs to eat properly and drink fluids (I know, it doesn’t sound right) to guard against dehydration. My aunt caught  colds a couple of times last winter. When she had a cold, she became very lethargic and wouldn’t eat or drink unless we told her she was going to end up in the hospital again. This weakened state, combined with her Lasix, caused her to become very confused. Her cardiologist told her to drink 3 Ensures a day, in addition to her meals, and Gatorade or a similar low sodium electrolyte drink. Also, she had to get back to a low sodium diet. 

 

The sooner you can get your sister to a cardiologist, the better. She can’t allow herself to get to the point of no return. She also can’t assume her primary care physician would refer her to a cardiologist if she doesn’t request a referral. If possible, enlist her pastor and anyone else who might be able to convince her to go to a cardiologist. 

 

It took my aunt’s cardiologist a good 6 months to get her CHF under control. She was literally at death’s door this time last year. She had a checkup with him Monday and he was thrilled with her progress. She’s been able to resume many of her former activities, with the exception of driving and bowling. Her quality of life is almost as good as it was before her trip to the ER. I hope your sister will listen to you - good luck! 

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,055
Registered: ‎08-25-2010

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?


@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

She is going to call me after her 3:00 Dr. appt.  I will see what they are going to do before I open my mouth.

 

I am so aggrevated I can't say what I want which is "What the he** is wrong you?"  That isn't going to help.  I may also call her oldest daughter.

 

She thinks she has to be available to help everyone else and if she's out of commission no one can get by without her.  I put the kibosh on her coming to stay w/me after my upcoming TKR.

 

Thanks to all for your replies.

 

My condolences to those who have lost loved ones to CHF.


@CrazyKittyLvr2  My aunt managed her church’s thrift shop for almost 50 years and didn’t think it would survive without her (no one wanted to learn to be her backup). Once she was out of commission, they stepped up to the plate. We may not like to admit it, but no one’s indispensable, most especially, at the cost of their health.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

@Eileen in Virginia   She is 66 yrs. old.  She is not incomptent or mentally unaware and I do not have a medical POA for her.

 

I can't drag her anywhere.  I can make an appt., I can drive 2 hrs. to take her but I cannot pick her up and put her in the car.

 

She is an adult, a stubborn, adult.  If she doesn't listen to her daughters she isn't going to do what I want.

 

The only way she will go against her will is if she passes out and her DH calls an ambulance.  And I wouldn't want to be him when she comes to in an ER room.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,055
Registered: ‎08-25-2010

Re: Is anyone dealing w/congestive heart failure?

@CrazyKittyLvr2  I understand. My aunt’s shortness of breath recurred in March.  She called me, so it must have been pretty bad. Her cardiologist told me to call 911 and they admitted her for a few days. She was furious with me, but I couldn’t worry about that. I’m not her POA, either. It was very frustrating when she seemed to have given up, usually when she caught a cold and got confused when she got dehydrated. At the end of the day, you can only do your best.