Wellness

[wonderfulworld]

My mother-in-law was just the same. She did it her way up until she died.

Of course, you can't know for sure the PCP has not suggested referral. She may not be 'hearing' him or her.

When she can't breathe she may change her mind. Arguing with her just upsets and frustrates everyone. And maybe gets her back up so she is even more resistant.

Probably she is scared and in denial.This will play out her way...it is her choice. Hard as it is for you and those that love her.

Let us know how this plays out. She may be sent to the hospital for IV diuretics and then will meet a cardiologist for sure!

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@Carmie   I know it's serious.  I have been harping about  her seeing a cardiologist for over a year. 

If it was one of her dogs she would take it to a cardiologist.

I am 2 hrs. away.  I can talk til I am blue and she will do what she wants.  I cannot force her, I wish I could.  She ignores advice from me, her husband and even her kids.  Her 1 daughter is a nurse.

[alicedee]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, and so soon after losing your husband.  I lost a family member to congestive heart failure and other diabetic complications.  It's awful.

If it were me I would definitely talk to her daughter and let her know your concerns.  Then I would have one more talk with sister, expressing the danger she is facing, and the dire outcome if she refuses to get the proper medical help.

And after you have done that....what else can you do?  If she knows the seriousness and still refuses proper treatment....if it were me I would recognize our time was limited, and not spend it arguing with her any further.  It's sad....but you can't force her, and from what you described...she won't listen or change her mind.

[Carmie]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   I feel so bad for you.  I understand that some people are so hardheaded and won't listen to reason.

You might want to ask her if she made arrangements and plans,on who will take care of her dog when she is gone.  Will her husband take care of the dog as good as she does?

Maybe she will go for the dog's sake.  I know I would,

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@Carmie   The dogs would be fine, he pays more attention to those dogs than he does people.  

[hckynut]

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@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

"I've seen her hardly be able to walk because her arthritis, from her hips down to her ankles"

@CrazyKittyLvr2 

Joints are not in the same category as ones heart. Pain is relative, ones heart dying is not. When heart muscle dies, unlike other organs, it does not regenerate its tissue.

I unfortunately know by my personal experiences. My 2 heart attacks killed most of the bottom portion of my heart muscle. It is gone forever and I function on what is left to live my active lifestyle. Each day I can do the things I love is a gift, and I treat my body as such.

BUTT!  Had I waited any longer to get help, I would not be typing this. Your sister, if it's correct she is suffering from CHF, and does nothing but take meds to reduce water retention?  Tick, tick, tick!  Pain is not an indicator of life threatening problems. Even more bluntly, without action being taken if she indeed is suffering from CHF?  Your concern will TRULY soon be falling on, not deaf, but dead ears.  If that is her wish, so be it.

Sorry, she is killing herself and that's her choice.

Condolences to those that lost those close to them from CHF, I am so sorry!

hckynut

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@hckynut   My comment about her joints was an example of her ignoring her own issues.

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

Well, she called.  She saw PA. Oy!.  After I post this I am going to go bang my head on a wall.  She has gained 6 lbs. even though she hasn't eaten.  She has to see a kidney specialist as her kidney function is down.  Gave her another script.  She has cellulitis in her leg.  She had an echocardiogram last year and there is something about her left side of her heart.  I had forgotten about that test.  That alone should have warranted a referral to heart guy as far as I'm concerned.  They are going to do a CT scan of her abodmen and chest to see about some blockage as the reason fluid is not leaving her leg.

Surprisingly she did bring up seeing cardiologist and they said they would talk to Dr.about referral.

One of these days I'm just going to get a call that she is in the hospital or worse.

[mom2four0418]

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@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

Well, she called.  She saw PA. Oy!.  After I post this I am going to go bang my head on a wall.  She has gained 6 lbs. even though she hasn't eaten.  She has to see a kidney specialist as her kidney function is down.  Gave her another script.  She has cellulitis in her leg.  She had an echocardiogram last year and there is something about her left side of her heart.  I had forgotten about that test.  That alone should have warranted a referral to heart guy as far as I'm concerned.  They are going to do a CT scan of her abodmen and chest to see about some blockage as the reason fluid is not leaving her leg.

Surprisingly she did bring up seeing cardiologist and they said they would talk to Dr.about referral.

One of these days I'm just going to get a call that she is in the hospital or worse.

Have you ever considered trying a different approach with your sister instead of constantly nagging her? Why not just step back and listen without judgement and advice. Being constantly scolded in and of itself is stressful. 

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[vsm]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   This is such a sad situation, and it understandably frustrates and upsets you.  Do her daughters accompany her when she sees her PCP?  If not, maybe you could persuade them to.  At the visits, your nieces could bring up their concerns about their mother's heart directly with the PCP.  Maybe I'm missing something, but given the way you describe your sister's temperament, I'm not sure you're getting the full story of what goes on in her PCP visits.  I wish you well as you try to do your best for your sister and grieve the loss of your husband.  What a difficult time this is for you, yet you seem to be handling it with much grace.