Wellness

[dooBdoo]

            Hi, @QVCPhobe.   I'm so sorry about your mom.   My mother passed away after 2 episodes of breast cancer, and I think I can understand your worries at least to some extent.   I want to offer something I posted on another thread about worry.

            I was a champion worrier for years, and I still have to work at calling a halt to it when I feel the worry machine start up in my head.    When I was a child, I had some difficult medical experiences and became unreasonably fearful of doctors and all medical settings...  if I can turn around such worries, I know you can.❤️   I've had surgeries and procedures along the way.   And, ironically,  for most of my life I've ended up working in hospitals.    

            Taking the Dale Carnegie course opened my eyes to the destructive nature of worry and the fact that we truly can learn to control it, and one of the books we read is a practical guide:  "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living."   So, if you're interesting in reading, that's one recommendation -- it's been around a long time... but still popular because it's effective and wise.

            The anticipation of most things is far, far worse than the actual event.   Our mind is powerful...  so it's essential to learn how to use it for the positive, and make it work for us instead of against us.    Methods such as biofeedback, positive imagery, and breathing techniques can be life-changing, and a good counselor can help you make these a natural part of your daily life.  

            I know some people dislike quotations, maxims, dismiss the value of "platitudes," but the fact is that many of them are still with us because they are true and applicable.    I found they often were the inspirations or the "light bulbs" I needed to awaken my brain and change my destructive thought patterns.   So keep your eyes open for inspirational quotes and positive affirmations.  

            Here are some statistics about worries that can help us to see them more clearly and realize they're not serving us well:

"~ 40% of the things we worry about never actually happen.
  ~ 30% of the things have already happened and there is nothing we can do about it.
  ~ 12% are needless worries about health.  Worrying actually counteracts the efforts we put into good health.  It creates internal chemical reactions that result in negative physiological maladies over time.
  ~ 10% are trivial and miscellaneous issues.
  ~ 8% (if that) are real worries, of which only half are something we can do about, while the other half we can only do a little about."

            Also, I love this quote and I've learned that it's true:

            "Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength -- carrying two days at once.  

            It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time.  

            Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

            ~Corrie ten Boom

            I send to you good wishes.   My faith is a significant component of overcoming worry...  so I send not only positive thoughts but also prayers for you and for your health care team.   I hope you'll keep in touch.❤️

[2blonde]

@QVCPhobe  Please allow me to offer a different perspective on worry.  This is what I have learned when I find myself worrying over something coming in the near future.  I realize that my worry is based mostly on fear of the unknown.  (What will happen if I am diagnosed with this disease?)  I've found the best solution for me is to play it over in my mind, and subsequently plan my reaction and my solution to dealing with the "problem" in advance. Even if everything turns out OK (as it usually does), I'm a lot more relaxed knowing I've already worked out the scenario and come up with a plan of action.

[Laura14]

@QVCPhobe  I have been called back so many times I practically lived there the year before last.  They found nothing but cysts.  Understand the technology gives them more to look at but not the clarity to really tell anything from just the basic exam so they put you through it to make sure.  

Don't borrow problems you don't have yet and may never have.  I have been reading a lot about mindfulness which is basically living in the here and now and not anywhere else.  Very difficult to do but I think it's worth trying out if you have the inclination to.  

Good Luck not that you need it at all. You'll be just as fine today as you were in the past.  

[lolakimono]

@QVCPhobe

[lolakimono]

[hckynut]

@QVCPhobe

I have never been a "what if" person in any situation. To me that can be applied to every move in life. When I drive our car/when I fall down ice skating/what if I have heart attack #3 doing my fitness workouts-yada/yada, yada.

What I do is wait till I know I have a specific problem and then try to work out the best solution of those available for that specific thing. 

Concern? Yes, but not until it is verified I have a specific problem. For me it is a waste of mental energy that can best be used for something I know, and it is something I can control. Things over which I have no control are not something that concerns me, for that very reason.

For many I think it is in their DNA, but I am a believer in this. If someone has a predisposition via genetics, that does not mean that has to be their inevitable result. Many things can have different results, in spite of genetic predisposition.

Take deep breaths and find something else to occupy your mind. It's worth a shot!

hckynut(john)

[RedTop]

I grew up with a mother who is a professional worrier.   By the time I was a teenager, I saw that her constant worrying had accomplished nothing.   I look at worrying as time wasted I cannot get back, and decided my life is too short for worrying.   

Best wishes to you.

[Moonchilde]

---

@judy0330 wrote:

Have you thought about having the BRCA test?  The percentage of breast cancer that is hereditary is actually quite small.  There are varying statistics but if you check it out you will see that to be the case.  I had breast cancer -- as did my mother.  I had the BRCA test and was negative.  Both the mother and grandmother of a friend who had breast cancer also had breast cancer.  She too was BRCA negative.  The test might help ease your fears.  For me it was important to know either way for the future after completing treatment.

---

Another bit of PSA here -

It is possible to be proactive if you have a family history of breast/female cancer in multiple members and multiple generations.

More and more women, younger women, who have had multiple female cancers in their family and who are BRCA-positive, elect to have double mastectomies. Angelina Jolie was the first highly publicized woman who did this, but there have been many since. It sounds very drastic, but it does give piece of mind thereafter. It's no longer considered unusual. And reconstruction is soo much better than in its early days.

[Mom2Dogs]

@QVCPhobe...I am 62, my mom died at the age of 61 of breast cancer. 

I am childless, which makes my odds of this cancer a bit higher but I honestly don't worry, it gets you no where.

I have also had several close calls....lumpectomy, 2 biopsy's all came back non cancer, my husband worries more than I do.

When I turned the age my mom was when she died, I did think about 'what if I get cancer' mostly because she was so young when she died and I put myself in her spot...how would I handle it.  My mom NEVER complained and she went thru a lot, the cancer moved to her bones and it was very painful.

Don't worry, have your yearly exam and move on and deal with what ever comes of the result of the test.  Post when you get your results....take care

[phoenixbrd]

@QVCPhobe I agree with @Tinkerbell3.  Roni, you might want to seek out Mindfulness as it has a proven track record for reducing anxiety (i.e.,used in hospitals to reduce the stress/pain for patients). You can find mindful meditations for free by googling. The posters have given lots of excellent strategies, you can overcome this anxiety.  It just takes the willingness to change.