Wellness

[ANewHue]

And I plan on staying there.  I've come to the conclusion that it's dealing with some people that just weighs on me.  Some complain and complain about the same old stuff but don't do a thing to change. I really don't get it but I'm convinced they enjoy being in that state.  It only took 8 days into the New Year to be very disappointed by the actions of another.  Some are just users.    It's my nature to be a caring , giving, individual so I've seen this a lot.  Others are lurking to start some type of drama for their amusement. Sorry had to vent a bit.  I chose to make this the Year for me.

[Drythe]

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@ANewHue wrote:

And I plan on staying there.  I've come to the conclusion that it's dealing with some people that just weighs on me.  Some complain and complain about the same old stuff but don't do a thing to change. I really don't get it but I'm convinced they enjoy being in that state.  It only took 8 days into the New Year to be very disappointed by the actions of another.  Some are just users.    It's my nature to be a caring , giving, individual so I've seen this a lot.  Others are lurking to start some type of drama for their amusement. Sorry had to vent a bit.  I chose to make this the Year for me.

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@ANewHue

Go For it Girl!  I am HAPPY for you!

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." - Marcus Aurelius

[hckynutjohn]

Stay there. Take care of yourself as the top priority. Those that do not take care of themselves, should something serious happen to a loved one? One that doesn't/can't take care of themselves, how will they be able to take care of a loved one.

Good for you,

hckynut(john)

[Annabellethecat66]

When my three girls were growing up we used to talk about some people being 'users'.  That was the word we used.  Through the years (and to this day) to say someone is a user is one of the worst things that can be said of someone in our life.

There are users in this life.  There are also people who are miserable and enjoy being miserable.  I am lucky in my life because I can chose to be around whomever I want.  I have chosen to never be around users.

I know some people don't have that luxury.  If you don't then my advice would be to limit the amount of time spent around people like that because they will bring you down too.

Life is too short not to look forward to each day (whatever it is).

[HappyDaze]

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@ANewHue wrote:

And I plan on staying there.  I've come to the conclusion that it's dealing with some people that just weighs on me.  Some complain and complain about the same old stuff but don't do a thing to change. I really don't get it but I'm convinced they enjoy being in that state.  It only took 8 days into the New Year to be very disappointed by the actions of another.  Some are just users.    It's my nature to be a caring , giving, individual so I've seen this a lot.  Others are lurking to start some type of drama for their amusement. Sorry had to vent a bit.  I chose to make this the Year for me.

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Good for you and I agree! Some people thrive on the drama they create in their lives. It wears you down if you have to be around it all the time. I have some of those people in my own family and my interactions with them are very limited because I don't want to get wrapped up in the drama that has gone on for years. The broken promises to change gets old too and I no longer want to hear promises or will listen to it- only their actions will prove they want to change. The words mean nothing to me without the action to back them up.

Have you also noticed that when you are happy, there are some people that seem to get really bothered by that and get angrier? LOL. I am generally a positive, happy person and I just think that really peeved some people and they try to bring you down. Well, I don't let them and I feel sorry for them that they seem to resent my happiness.

[Drythe]

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@Annabellethecat66 wrote:

When my three girls were growing up we used to talk about some people being 'users'.  That was the word we used.  Through the years (and to this day) to say someone is a user is one of the worst things that can be said of someone in our life.

There are users in this life.  There are also people who are miserable and enjoy being miserable.  I am lucky in my life because I can chose to be around whomever I want.  I have chosen to never be around users.

I know some people don't have that luxury.  If you don't then my advice would be to limit the amount of time spent around people like that because they will bring you down too.

Life is too short not to look forward to each day (whatever it is).

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Absolutely!  At the very least, remember who and what they are and take them at face value only.

[ANewHue]

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@HappyDaze wrote:

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@ANewHue wrote:

And I plan on staying there.  I've come to the conclusion that it's dealing with some people that just weighs on me.  Some complain and complain about the same old stuff but don't do a thing to change. I really don't get it but I'm convinced they enjoy being in that state.  It only took 8 days into the New Year to be very disappointed by the actions of another.  Some are just users.    It's my nature to be a caring , giving, individual so I've seen this a lot.  Others are lurking to start some type of drama for their amusement. Sorry had to vent a bit.  I chose to make this the Year for me.

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Good for you and I agree! Some people thrive on the drama they create in their lives. It wears you down if you have to be around it all the time. I have some of those people in my own family and my interactions with them are very limited because I don't want to get wrapped up in the drama that has gone on for years. The broken promises to change gets old too and I no longer want to hear promises or will listen to it- only their actions will prove they want to change. The words mean nothing to me without the action to back them up.

Have you also noticed that when you are happy, there are some people that seem to get really bothered by that and get angrier? LOL. I am generally a positive, happy person and I just think that really peeved some people and they try to bring you down. Well, I don't let them and I feel sorry for them that they seem to resent my happiness

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@HappyDaze Oh yes, definitely there's some of that too lol.  They just hate my positivity and outlook even though I have my own crosses to carry.  It hasn't been easy but I've achieved balance in my life. 

[Bhvbum]

soooo True!  I have sat through lunches and dinners listening to the same story but different characters. These people seem to have troubles with all their families and to listen you think, heh!, that's a legit gripe. Then you discover the story never changes and neither do they. 

I refuse to waste my time trying to give advice that is never used. Then you hear them telling the same story to one of you friends and you think, whew, they have found someone else!  

[sfnative]

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@ANewHue wrote:

And I plan on staying there.  I've come to the conclusion that it's dealing with some people that just weighs on me.  Some complain and complain about the same old stuff but don't do a thing to change. I really don't get it but I'm convinced they enjoy being in that state.  It only took 8 days into the New Year to be very disappointed by the actions of another.  Some are just users.    It's my nature to be a caring , giving, individual so I've seen this a lot.  Others are lurking to start some type of drama for their amusement. Sorry had to vent a bit.  I chose to make this the Year for me.

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@ANewHue

In 2008 I went through a most horrible patch with an organization with which I had been associated for 30 years.  In working with a neurosurgeon on a difficult upcoming surgery, I gave him a summary, as we worked together.  His advice, without even a blink was:  "You've got a lot of toxic people around.  My advice is to get out of there and take care of yourself.

I really needed that.

[jlkz]

Wow!  The posts in the thread are so right on !!!!  They have described a few long-term acquaintances ( not truly friends as things turned out ) that ended abruptly over I-still-don't-know-what.  

Because of my background in leadership and communication skills, I have spent countless hours listening to these women's issues---letting them vent, counseling when asked over the phone or coffee,  local or long distance.   When one particularly long relationship stopped "overnight", DH kept asking why I wasn't seeing or talking with X, what happened?  He and X's spouse we're professionals and golfed together.

All I come away with is that I am positive, happy and have a truly wonderful, caring spouse after all these years.  These attributes are not as abundant for either of the three, X, Y, or Z.

Bottomline, I never realized just how much time and mental energy these three consumed.  When the vacuum occurred, it got filled with more positive things for me.  What a blessing!!!

Please look around your environment carefully.  See who is "using"  or taking more advantage of you than you elect to give.  Then, take action to limit your exposure.  I am not suggesting that anyone stop caring about others who truly need support, but stop being made a prisoner of their ongoing vents.  You need to take care of yourself so that you will be able to thrive and be there for those around you.