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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,719
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight


@hckynut wrote:

 

@Hoovermom

 

It makes me wonder at times how siblings raised by the same parent(s), which is less common in our society today, can turn out so differently! 

 

Said here many times that my mother raised myself and 3 older sisters by herself. Out of the 4 of us, 3 had(my youngest sister died in 1989) exactly the same character and outlooks on life. We lived/live with the virtues our mother taught us decades ago, "treat others as you would like them to treat you".

 

For any sibling to take advantage for financial or other reasons, because of their proximity to and aging parent, is abhorrent to me, regardless of these circumstances. All my of my older sisters were married, and my mother and I lived together many years after my sisters had left the home. I was with her every single day, depending on which shift I was working, my sisters were not.

 

There was no way I would have ever even thought of taking advantage of that because I lived with my mother. There was no BIG estate or $$$$ after my mother died. There were however many valuable pieces of furniture and jewelry(her wedding ring) which were invaluable to my sisters. I let them decide what meant the most to them, and told them I wanted only the things they did not want or need. Money or expensive property did not, and still do not, mean that much to me.

 

It is a shame that siblings go to such extremes and place more value on $$$ and material things than they do on their blood relatives. Too much emphasis on $$$ by too many, I have never and will never understand people that have what is the most important things in life, destroyed by their greed.

 

I am sorry things turned out this way for you after the death of a parent.

 

 

 

hckynut(john)


@hckynut:  Thank you.  It was as  if I was writing what you said.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,755
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

I must have opened my sisters eyes a little because she inquired about mom and called her today, she also sent me info on assisted living facilities. I toured 1 today and my mother is to high functioning for that residence. Since i run a home health agency in my l area, I know most of the people who run the assisted livings. Mom transferred to rehab today, she is OK, the therapy team has not evaluated her yet so for tonight she is to stay in bed. I do have something to say to the paragraph lady, you don't understand my situation no empathy at all. My grandmother was an English teacher but I was a horrible English student, I hated it. I struggled to read and she tutored me until I could read. I managed to get through school, graduate with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Nursing, go on to obtain my Masters of Science in Nursing, and a Masters in Business Administration. This dumb kid has been a nurse for 38 years and has a very good job. Just to note, nurses and doctors usually write in broken 1 liners. We are not concerned with grammar. We take care of people. I hope you understand that everyone had different talents, assets, and abilities. We should appreciate the good in everyone and not criticize. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 795
Registered: ‎01-01-2014

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

@conlt my heart breaks for you.  You have to be a very special person filled with love of others to take all you have while tending to your Mother.  I realize you would do anything you can for your Mom as you should but your siblings not helping is horrific.  May you be blessed and their is a special place for you in Heaven!  May God give you the strength to continue this journey as I know it has to be hard.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers along with your Mom.  God Bless (If you are a not a Christian but another religion please don't take offense~~whatever religion you are you will be rewarded)  Hugs Heart

 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 746
Registered: ‎06-03-2012

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

You and your brother are precious, caring, loving angels❣️ PERIOD. Your siblings are incredibly selfish, self-absorbed, and inconsiderate. (I could go on!)  PERIOD!  How you treat them going forward is your business, but I certainly hope you have the patience of Job bc it looks like you may need it. Also, a strong backbone. I wish your dear mom a speedy recovery and am sending big hugs to you and your brother. 🌻

Valued Contributor
Posts: 623
Registered: ‎04-27-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

I could have written this same story. Just know one day when your Mother is gone, you will have such peace and comfort in your heart, none of this will even matter! 💕

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,755
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

Well my mother is still in the rehab probably due to go home next week. I am putting her on the waitlist at a local assisted living. My brother who has not participated in her care is livid at me because he thinks we can take shifts to care for her. I told my brother who helps all of the time that we will give him the first week of shifts and see if he changes his mind. My mother is doing well, she walks with a walker now but forgets to use it and must be reminded. My sister from out of state will be coming for few weeks to help me get things settled. I am exhausted, but making it. 

My mother looks very well and is walking well if she remembers to take her walker with her. She hates the rehab. 

My sister that I got angry with has actually calling mom and me to see how we are. She lives about 1 hour 40 min away and does not work. I think she can do more but probably will not. 

I am a RN who has worked with the elderly for years, I hate to say it but I see my mother falling again and no telling what that will bring. We are going to try and ease her into the idea of assisted living. She has adjusted to the rehab OK. 

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,491
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

@conlt  Thanks for the update.  I'm glad your mother improved at rehab.

 

It is a very real fear that she will fall again.  My uncle fell in assisted living.  No one can be with them every minute, even those with more hands on care.

 

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,076
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight


@Libbylady wrote:

Oh gosh....this might be a really interesting story, but I can't read it!!. 

Please consider the reader, and learn to use paragraphs.


@Libbylady

 

What an unkind, selfish post.  This isn't about you.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 939
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

My sister lived ten minutes away from my dad, I lived in anotehr state. I was the one having groceries delieverd and I was the one you brought him home with me when he could no longer live alone. I have no guilt after my dad died, I wonder about my sister. We haven't talked in years and she is my only sibling. You will know that you did everything you could for your mom and that will give you some peace when she passes on.

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,755
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

@VaBelle35 you are right about that. She is home and not compliant with the use of her walker. I know she can fall anytime, I think all of my family realizes that. My sister came over for 2 days to help me get mom out of rehab and get her set-up. We have aides with her right now but I am still considering assisted living. My brother may stay down her house a night. We shall see. I am happy though that my sister did come over and we actually had a good time working together. My other sister is coming tomorrow from Boston, her flight was canceled last night because of the terrible weather.