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Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,399
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

@conlt At least your sibling issues have improved, but I think you know the odds of a non compliant patient falling again is high. You all should want her placed in a safer environment. Good luck in making that happen.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,365
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight


@conlt wrote:

I am the main caregiver of my 92 year old mother. On Friday night she fell at home, did not have her all button on or the phone, she dragged herself across the houe on her back and called me. I called 911 and stayed with her from 12:30 AM to 7 AM when my brother came so I could sleep. Turns out she had a fractured L4. and needed surgery. I spoke to the cardiologist, and the neuro surgeon. In the meantime on Saturday I notified my siblings, another that lives 1 mile away, another 1:40 min away, the other was on vacation about 7 hours away but lives1200 miles away. No one came to the hospital except my 1 brother who relieved me. Sunday was supposed to be her surgery day so I was there early 8:00, then my brother came. We stayed all day with her waiting for her spot in the OR. At 7 PM they finally told us they had to wait until 7 AM the next morning. You guessed it me and my brother were there at 6:30 AM to see mom into surgery. It was scary for us with her being under anethesia but she was ok. I made sure she was awake and then stayed with he a little bit while she slept, left and went back later to check on her. I also went to work a little on Monday afternoon. So I go to work today, and my sister decides she is coming to see mom. I just let loose on her about mom having 5 children and only 2 show up, that it was difficult for me to find her, stay in the ER and then have to make all of those hard decisions basically on my own with no support. My sister made all kinds of excuses that she is 1 hour and 40 minutes away. I pointed out she travels thousands of miles for her prayer ministry. She said I was being unfair. I know I am very exhausted and I said things that I have thought about for years but never said to her. She said I was being judgemental. Maybe I was, I don't really know. I am just trying to get through this, next is rehab and I am going to look for assisted livings for her to try. I can't take care of her on my own and I am getting very little help from my sweet brother who always shows up to help. My youngest brother went fishing at 5 AM while his mother was going into surgery at 7 AM, then he was mad with me because I have not obtained some VA money that she is entitled to. I let him have it to and said "I am doing the best that I can, I need help". My mother has dementia. I had an aide with her 6 hours per day and checked on her myself. I also managed all of her medical, medications and bills. They all float along in their lives. I get more support from a friend who has called me multiple times during this latest ordeal. Just venting, I had to say it, I am at the end of my rope. 


@conlt  My mother had dementia also!  My sister and I sometimes did not agree on what to do and we would fight!  I understand how you feel!   I am sending up prayers for you and your mother!   God Bless you!  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,468
Registered: ‎03-22-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

@conlt....I am sending warm hugs.  I know you are needing lots of support.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,174
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I got angry with my sister tonight

You did the right thing.  You have to know that and that makes all the difference in the world.  The THEY have to live with their decision.