Re: I am worried about my sister

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I am treading carefully because of my sisters feelings. I think she is scared ,and I don't want to make her panicky

Her husband just had knee replacement surgery today, and is doing well. They had him up and walking around for a bit ,and doing some exercises in bed. He is sharp as a tack

My sister still cooks, and does laundry ,and cleans, I will take things a step at a time. I am worried, but I don't think she is in danger of death. She is on blood pressure meds and a variety of other things

I just wanted to get others take on , if I was over stepping ,to tell her Dr what I have seen. I am not sure when she goes, if she remembers or not to tell her things

I don't want to make her daughter feel, I am pushing her out of the picture. She loves her mother very much ,but has a lot of her own health problems and can't work

I want to help without being a master Sargent. I want to do this as delicately as I can. I don't want to hurt my sisters feelings, or take away her dignity

SUHsE · ‎03-12-2017

I’m not so much seeing signs of Alzheimer’s, as, other concerns.

Unexplained weight loss, frequent vomiting, the unusual lethargy and sleeping, are all concerning.

The accidents and falling, could signal an equilibrium problem.

Have a honest talk with with your Sister. Explain you love her lots, and are concerned; she needs to see a Dr.

You may have to be insistent. You may upset her, but, especially, at her age, these are not symptoms, to ignore.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

My sister sees a Dr all of the time. He seems not to be helping her. I have tried to get her to see someone else.

I even got her to see my pcp several years ago. She didn't want to return for some reason. I have told her there are other Drs she could see, in the same group.I even said she could try someone neither of us has ever seen in a differnt practice. My Dr did get her to see an allergist . whom she stopped seeing for a while, but has recently returned to. again

She isn't always someone who is easy to steer in the right path. I have no idea why she didn't want to go to my Dr. I think it might have been a bit longer of a drive

They even have a Gerontologist available. Her Dr is a mess. He doesn't take appointments, You go there, and wait your turn. Sometimes that can be a few hrs, He has a double row of chairs in his waiting room. My neighbor went there once, and was so angry ,she never went back ,and told him why she wouldn't return.

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@cherry wrote:
My sister sees a Dr all of the time. He seems not to be helping her. I have tried to get her to see someone else.

I even got her to see my pcp several years ago. She didn't want to return for some reason. I have told her there are other Drs she could see, in the same group.I even said she could try someone neither of us has ever seen in a differnt practice. My Dr did get her to see an allergist . whom she stopped seeing for a while, but has recently returned to. again

She isn't always someone who is easy to steer in the right path. I have no idea why she didn't want to go to my Dr. I think it might have been a bit longer of a drive

They even have a Gerontologist available. Her Dr is a mess. He doesn't take appointments, You go there, and wait your turn. Sometimes that can be a few hrs, He has a double row of chairs in his waiting room. My neighbor went there once, and was so angry ,she never went back ,and told him why she wouldn't return.

@cherry I would try to get your sister to the ER ASAP. She is exhibiting serious symptoms and could be in danger! Do whatever you need to do. Lie, if you have to. You could save her life. Bless you for your concerns and for your caring!

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@cherry,

It has been my experience that when our older relatives are seen regularly by their doctors, and we continue to see health issues with them that concern us, it is because the patient is not being completely truthful about what’s going on with them.

Once I started taking my Mom to her medical appointments, I realized she was not really involved in the examination. Mom was busy being friendly with the staff, and the doctor (who is related to us), but she didn’t share any details about anything she experienced since her last appointment. She waited for him to essentially tell her how she is, and then would tell my brothers the doctor gave her a good report.

Now that my Mom has a diagnosis of early stage dementia, she sits in the exam room like a statue and tells the doctor she is doing just fine. When I asked Mom what fine means to her, the response was that she’s breathing, walking, eating, and still living alone in her house, no mention of even physical issues. I’m preparing for her next visit with a list of things I know she’s done since the last appointment, because everything is not “fine”.

Best wishes to you in trying to help your sister!

sfnative · ‎03-10-2010

@cherry

Cherry,

I quite understand the dynamics at work here. There are 2 things I would do, if in your place.

1. I'd write a letter to her physician and send it via USPS. It then becomes a permanent part of her medical record; i.e., they can't throw it away. And, her physician will read it at some point. On the left front corner of the envelope print and underline, PERSONAL & CONFIDENTIAL.

2. Heaven forbid, but if something should happen to your sister, step in and make sure you accompany her to an E.R. This will be a plus, for sure, as far as information you can provide the E.R. docs and staff.

Over the years, I've written a number of letters to my husband's PCP, every time we've moved and he's gotten a new doctor, as he's an alcoholic and never tells anyone and a Type II Diabetic out of control. My husband has always and continues to think he's in perfect health going on 74. He's a consummate liar, to the world and himself, so I do step in via letter, when I deem it necessary. I fully expect him to simply drop one of these days and that will be the end of things.

I'm so very sorry that your sister is ill and pray that somehow she will receive an appropriate work-up, in order to determine what is going on, before things escalate. Bless you for caring and wanting to do what's right for her.