How do you cope with no serious ilness - Page 2

halfpint1 · ‎03-10-2010

I just took took my half of a heart pill. Next visit to the doctor I will ask what my pills are for anything serious instead of believing everything.

I have so many movie recordings but can't get into them. Also found some crossword mags that are easy for me. ALso I take the la paper so I have plenty to read or look at.

As I asked is anyone like me and coping okay.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@halfpint1,

My mom has been a widow for 15 years; she continues to function well enough to still live alone at 84. A year and a half ago she was diagnosed with early stage dementia; my mom is very well aware her brain function is not what it used to be.

Mom has more than a few health issues, but made the decision not to spend the last years of her life in doctors offices, or taking numerous pills every day. She takes a pill for thyroid, one for BP, one for anxiety, and one for her memory- - -none of which are keeping her alive. She sees the doctor 3x a year to comply with getting her prescriptions, but would prefer not to go at all. Mom always has something that hurts; she forgets about the arthritis in her neck, and how the weather affects her aches and pains. We rarely have a day without a complaint of an ache or pain.

My mom follows a daily routine in her familiar environment. My brothers and I check on mom thru the day, and the plan is to leave her in her home as long as she is safe there. Once safety becomes an issue, we step in and make whatever decision needs to be made.

Every week my brothers and I are looking for something mom has misplaced, or fixing/replacing something she’s broken. The brother who writes the checks, took her checkbook and bank card. All she really has to keep up with is one key, and it’s never where it’s supposed to be, but the neon pink lanyard helps us spot it faster.

Living alone is not good for my mom, but she does not want to leave her home of more than 64 years. We know mom is happy in her house, and we hope to have that as a final memory, but the progression of the dementia will determine what decisions we have to make to ensure her safety.

docsgirl · ‎03-09-2010

I am 73 years of age and live in a small town that is not my home town. People, while lovely, have been here generation after generation so I am not included in their activities even though I am very active in church. It's impossible to make new old friends. Having been widowed 21 years ago, I live totally and completely alone with my cat. If I need help, I have no one to call. I've learned to take care of things myself.

I'm a retired teacher and work as a substitute, which I love. I come home at the end of the day and my time is my own. I have a wonderful son but he lives many, many miles from me. I love to read, knit, sew, make cards to send and donate, and give thanks every day for my health. I also do volunteer work in the community and am very active in my church.

While life isn't the same as when I was at home with my dear husband, it is what it is and I've learned to adjust. Try to think positively and find things you love. I'm sure there are classes you can take to learn a new, enjoyable skill. We have dance classes, knitting and crochet classes, etc.. There's always something meaningful to fill our lives if only we look for it. Good luck and thinking positively. docsgirl

godi · ‎03-09-2010

Being alone is so hard. I truly don’t know any advice to give here. Is there a priest or pastor you can reach out to for info on a group they may know of that will visit elderly? Do you get meals on wheels? Maybe that would know of a group. I know you say your shy but try for your mental health sake. Reach out on these boards more and we will keep you company also. Your in my heart and prayers @halfpint1

((((((❤️))))))

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

Are you pretty mobile? If so, how about taking some nice walks around your neighborhood. If you are able, and haven't for awhile, just take a very short one at first, to get used to it. I find that this improves my mental state even more than it helps my physical state. There is just something about getting out in the fresh air that really clears your head and improves your outlook.

I can identify with some of the things you have written. I am starting to get a little forgetful myself and it worries me a bit. Try doing some of this little word finder books that you can get in the dollar stores.

Also, maybe look into getting bus service that is provided for seniors. They will pick you up and take you shopping or to a senior center. I know the senior center near me has lunch and classes on things. You could go and talk to others of a similar situation.

You mentioned that you have a couple of cats. They are a lot of company. Would you be able to care for a dog? Shelters have many older dogs that need homes and wouldn't be as rambunctious as a puppy and they are very good company and add some feeling of protection in the home. Plus he or she could go with you on a walk.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

Half Pint: Am I wrong or is it that you are not able to approach unfamiliar people by yourself? Being someone who finds it easy to do this, there was a time I may have had a difficult time understanding your situation, but after doing a study of how the temperaments of people affect their lives, I now do understand something of how you may feel. We are all so different, there is no pat answer for everyone. I remember someone who wrote on this site saying that she was unable to attend church by herself, needed someone to accompany her there. If you know anyone, even slightly, who may be willing to accompany you somewhere it would make going to an unfamiliar place much easier for you.....but I do agree that a little exercise may help. Even as you walk around your neighborhood someone may say hello and as you reply, a conversation could very well follow. This has happened to me often, I find a sincere smile on my part has a way of drawing people.to want to know me.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

Both my Mom and M-i-L moved to retirement communities.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@halfpint1 @Can you offer to help seniors by visiting or calling.I think that could be good for you and for the person you visit.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@halfpint1 wrote:
but are alone living-one adult son not living with me but near. Sometimes we get along-him doing things for me other times not so nice talking. I have no friends--living in this house 18 years.Going a little nuts. dh died 3 years ago. I am getting forgetful-can't find my checkbook again or some money I got from recycling. Looking in all the places I can think. I am an introvert. Don't drive and have no temple affiliation. Ready to scream at times. I do have 2 cats I care about. Too much shopping and no room for things
Just wondering are there anyone here like this? 81 here

@halfpint1 It doesn't matter if any other poster here lives as you do. Your life is only yours and there are several red flags here about what you are saying that would be raised for any poster who identifies with you.

While losing your DH seems to be the starting point of your problems, you have posted about fear of being alone, hearing noises not heard by others, isolation, forgetfulness, and other issues that are understandably troubling for you.

Your last sentence-are you shopping for things you do not need and hoarding?

I think you are reaching out for help and trying to find somebody who lives as you do.

It isn't good for you and I'd say the same to anybody who was living as you live.

An intervention is needed and nobody here can do that for you.

There has to be somebody you know besides your son; find a senior center where you can find an advocate to come in and help you. Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't get and accept help. You need it.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

@halfpint1 wrote:
They are building a new senior citizen place but not near. But being shy I can not go up to someone and start talking. At my age everyone has their own friends even neighbors so it is difficult.

If you are physically able, I strongly suggest finding a charity group that will welcome your help. My husband is disabled and spent too much time feeling sad and sorry about it. He signed up to help at one of our local food pantries. He cannot do anything physical, but they welcome his management expertise and he's made so many wonderful friends. You don't need to actively try to make conversation and friendships - it will naturally happen. The process may be slow, but you'll find you are looking forward to seeing people more and more and those feelings could blossom into friendships. And if that doesn't happen, the sense of purpose you will get from helping others will be worth it. It sounds cliche, but it is so very true.

~ house cat ~