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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,749
Registered: ‎11-21-2011

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

@halfpint1 my life changed literally overnight at 43 when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. It was so rough in the beginning because I thought I'd be doing the things I loved baking, painting, decorating. Little did I realize my illness would keep me from doing any of this. Eventually I slowly began accepting my challenges and learning how to navigate. I returned to working out on my good days which was the most important step I could take. I learned to be kind to myself and enjoy little things. I indulge in at home beauty rituals which not only help me feel good but look better too. I light my favorite candle and just relax . Basically I do what makes me feel good. I'm home everyday mostly until the weather breaks. I try to plan outings with a friend for coffee or lunch to catch up in person once in awhile. I love having my Echo and playing music every day. When the weather breaks I plant my flowers to enjoy all Summer. I guess I'm used to being home by myself and doing my things. It's been extremely hard since my DH has retired and he's having problems adjusting and seems to be under my feet most times. Even thoughI like getting dressed and going out I don't enjoy in store shopping as much as I once did. Why waste energy when I can order on line and have it brought to me? When you're home you learn it's better to go out during the week than on weekends
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,795
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

Such heartfelt responses... Wondering if the OP has read them and how is she doing??

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,837
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

@halfpint1   Are you there?  Have you read these responses?  People here really care about you.


The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau





Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,994
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

[ Edited ]

@CAcableGirl2 

 

What great suggestions you gave.   I use your 'conversation openers' all the time, being new to this area and they work great.

 

@halfpint1 

 I hope you can use some of the ideas offered here to improve the quality of your life.  I'll be thinking about you and wish you the best.

Super Contributor
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎09-09-2012

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

Cakers you nailed it, we MUST force ourselves to move and make changes or guess what NOTHING, andI mean NOTHING, will change. It is extremely difficult but can be done and it starts in the brain. You can sit there and use your brain and make a plan without even moving or lifting a finger. next you lift a finger and reach out for help. Get some volunteers to come over dear OP and mayb organize a big garage sale. Downsize into a senior center where you would have company. I am sure you are a nice person, you are brave to put yourself out here. You  can have the changes you need, why not give life one final kick in the rear and be your own change! I wish I could talk to you.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,493
Registered: ‎12-31-2012

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

[ Edited ]

@halfpint1T wrote:

but are alone living-one adult son not living with me but near. Sometimes we get along-him doing things for me other times not so nice talking. I have no friends--living in this house 18 years.Going a little nuts. dh died 3 years ago. I am getting forgetful-can't find my checkbook again or some money I got from recycling. Looking in all the places I can think. I am an introvert. Don't drive and have no temple affiliation. Ready to scream at times. I do have 2 cats I care about. Too much shopping and no room for things

Just wondering are there anyone here like this? 81 here


@halfpint1 

 

Talk to your Dr. , have him check you for possible dementia,  brain disorder.   Have Dr.  give you a referral to a psychiatrist, psychologist, and/or a support group.

I fear you may need  professional mental health help.  Anxiety disorder, and/paranoia disorder/phobias.

Meantime, get out of the house, go to a local senior center and make some friends.

Get help soon.

Wishing you the best.

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,012
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

I have lived alone for 4+ years.  My DH passed 7 years ago.  Have my children who are great; but no other family--no siblings, in-laws, etc.  It is lonely - very lonely at times.  I do drive, but not far and I'm not adventurous to join groups, travel alone, etc.  I did join an exercise group for seniors and didn't know anyone else, but now I have many friends there to talk with.  I have a pet and that makes a huge difference.   Try to get involved in a volunteer situation,  there are many free classes too, always the library and they offer a lot of programs.  Try something.  Even if you won't go up and start a conversation, someone will seek you out and begin a conversation.  Good luck.  I totally understand your situation.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,997
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

If one is well and likes animals, all animal shelters are looking for various types of volunteers.  People walk dogs, brush and play with cats, and the animals love it.  In the course of it, you talk to people too.

 

Most areas have some sort of senior center or activities.  I know there must be people who feel similarly to you.  Some schools have adults who come in to read to children.  Kids love that.

 

Best to you!

 

Hyacinth

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,171
Registered: ‎02-02-2015

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

@halfpint1  How are you doing? Hope to hear from you soon.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness


@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:

Both my Mom and M-i-L moved to retirement communities. 


I am mid 60s and did this two years ago.  The community I moved to is a gated one where we all own single family homes and I had a chance to pick a model and they built to that.  Other type retirement communities available in our town are like apartments and you can take the elevator down to enjoy meals with others or if you don't have memory issues you can cook and they have two or three different levels of care - normal adult community, assisted living and a memory care nursing home part.  They provide medication dispensing and check on residents but I didn't need that.  I am still active, grew up near here so still have a lot of the same friends for years but was living in a large home pretty rural in the country, my siblings moved farther away and two friends and my BF died.  At that point I decided to get proactive and sold my home so I can choose what's best for me while I still have the ability to do so.

 

Pros and cons to living in places like this - 

 

Cons - the homes are built very close to one another. 

HOA costs and rules that must be followed - you have to get permission to change paint colors or plant new trees (can also be a pro as well)!

Homes all look cookie cutter and very much alike.

 

Pros - this could be a pro or con bc we have tiny postage stamp lots and we have the option of doing our own yard work or pay $60/month extra to HOA and they do ALL yard work - mow, weed, fertilize, aerate, etc.

Our HOA dues pay for snow removal in streets and common areas and if it snows 4 inches or more they do our individual sidewalks and driveways too.  Less than 4" and we are responsible for our own driveway/sidewalk.

No one here ever knocks on your door or bothers you.  We have a pool/clubhouse and each month we get an email with a calendar of all the activities happening at the clubhouse so if you are a social person you can go join in - or not!  They also have different clubs you can join as well and they have ppl from outside organizations that periodically give lectures on different topics at the clubhouse.  

Though ppl leave you alone here - neighbors help if when they hear of someone that needs help due to mobility issues or can't drive.

We have an online newsletter which is also is a place to go read about things happening here or outside our community. 

 

If anyone ever told me I'd be in a place like this I'd have told them they were crazy - but moving here has allowed me to travel much more freely knowing when I return I never have to wonder or worry if anyone has broken in to the house or if there was any vandalism while gone - that was a problem in all other homes I have lived.