Re: How do you cope with no serious ilness

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

My friend I eat with usually (at least) 4 times a week (lunch) is very, very much an introvert.

But guess what? Yepper! I'm her friend! Can you imagine having me for a friend....especially if you are an introvert?

When she leaves the table to go to the bathroom she'll say, "When I get back I don't want to see strangers sitting at our table".

I love talking to everyone. My point is. If you just make one tiny change you are likely to find someone who will get you out of the house even once a week.

But first you need to make one tiny change. See if you can't get to a library. Go on Facebook and look up some old friends (you'd be surprised at who'd like to hear from you).

My friend helps me too. I love being at home. She'll call me and say, "You wanna go to lunch? Meet me (or) I'll pick you up in 1/2 or 1 hour". Then I have to get a move on. I put on makeup, the whole shmear (pronounced I paint it up)....Ha! I always look nice, jjewelry, etc. all matches.

My point is. Just get out of the house. If I lived near you, I'd be knocking on your door. I try not to be obtrusive, but I'd get you out. We'd sit at a restaurant (my treat) and talk about events.

I worry about my memory so I try to stay up on the latest topics (I don't like specific politics) just what's going on generally. I'd get you interested in the world.

I'd introduce you to some old TV shows from way back and we'd talk about them.

There are a lot of people (here) like me. You just need a little jolt to get you going, that's all.

It sounds like you might be suffering some from a little depression (only a Dr knows). Don't be afraid to talk to a Dr, see what he says.

Come on.....you can do it. I talked to my brother yesterday. He's 79 years old next week. He had bladder cancer and has a bag strapped to him. I always say, "If you think I'm outgoing, you need to meet my brother". He says the same thing about me.

My point is you just need a little change. It will get you going. BUT you are going to have to do it.

You must help yourself first. If you were on an airplane you'd have to first put the oxgen on your face THEN help others. Well, YOU need to make that change first.

If you don't drive take an Uber. Do the research to maybe a libray. Call them first and find out about a program they have (just women like yourself). I have a friend who runs an entire library. She says people don't use all of their free (all free) benefits they have.

Then take an Uber to the group (you could probably even get a ride home). You'd be surprised how many people are like you.

To heck with that kid of your's. It's his loss. Oh! What you've seen in life. The stories you could tell about the changes.

I understand what you're saying about memory. I'm lucky because I talk to my oldest daughter about what's going on in the world to keep my brain from turning to mush. We have different politics. We argue, throw fits but hug good-bye in the end. The love is always there, no matter what.

You just need a friend. Now you go get busy and come tell us....we will be waiting here. Just type in "Hey! Annabellethecat...guess what!" Fondly, Annabelle..

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
My friend I eat with usually (at least) 4 times a week (lunch) is very, very much an introvert.

But guess what? Yepper! I'm her friend! Can you imagine having me for a friend....especially if you are an introvert?

When she leaves the table to go to the bathroom she'll say, "When I get back I don't want to see strangers sitting at our table".

I love talking to everyone. My point is. If you just make one tiny change you are likely to find someone who will get you out of the house even once a week.

But first you need to make one tiny change. See if you can't get to a library. Go on Facebook and look up some old friends (you'd be surprised at who'd like to hear from you).

My friend helps me too. I love being at home. She'll call me and say, "You wanna go to lunch? Meet me (or) I'll pick you up in 1/2 or 1 hour". Then I have to get a move on. I put on makeup, the whole shmear (pronounced I paint it up)....Ha! I always look nice, jjewelry, etc. all matches.

My point is. Just get out of the house. If I lived near you, I'd be knocking on your door. I try not to be obtrusive, but I'd get you out. We'd sit at a restaurant (my treat) and talk about events.

I worry about my memory so I try to stay up on the latest topics (I don't like specific politics) just what's going on generally. I'd get you interested in the world.

I'd introduce you to some old TV shows from way back and we'd talk about them.

There are a lot of people (here) like me. You just need a little jolt to get you going, that's all.

It sounds like you might be suffering some from a little depression (only a Dr knows). Don't be afraid to talk to a Dr, see what he says.

Come on.....you can do it. I talked to my brother yesterday. He's 79 years old next week. He had bladder cancer and has a bag strapped to him. I always say, "If you think I'm outgoing, you need to meet my brother". He says the same thing about me.

My point is you just need a little change. It will get you going. BUT you are going to have to do it.

You must help yourself first. If you were on an airplane you'd have to first put the oxgen on your face THEN help others. Well, YOU need to make that change first.

If you don't drive take an Uber. Do the research to maybe a libray. Call them first and find out about a program they have (just women like yourself). I have a friend who runs an entire library. She says people don't use all of their free (all free) benefits they have.

Then take an Uber to the group (you could probably even get a ride home). You'd be surprised how many people are like you.

To heck with that kid of your's. It's his loss. Oh! What you've seen in life. The stories you could tell about the changes.

I understand what you're saying about memory. I'm lucky because I talk to my oldest daughter about what's going on in the world to keep my brain from turning to mush. We have different politics. We argue, throw fits but hug good-bye in the end. The love is always there, no matter what.

You just need a friend. Now you go get busy and come tell us....we will be waiting here. Just type in "Hey! Annabellethecat...guess what!" Fondly, Annabelle..

Annabelle: I think you did a great job of covering this subject. I would especially agree that HalfPint's basic need is for a friend but I think she is hesitant about even trying because of her admitted shyness. . I do realize how hard this is for many to do;as I have befriended such people. Once they feel at ease it can be surprising how they bloom! I do pray that this basic need in her life will be met.....that she will make the commitment to take the first step towards a richer and fuller life as others too have suggested.

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

@Annabellethecat66

Oh, how I wish we were neighbors! I'd so love to have lunch with you!

~ house cat ~

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@house_cat Thank you. I'd enjoy it too.

IamMrsG · ‎08-29-2010

@Annabellethecat66

big heart.png

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.

september · ‎03-09-2010

So many good suggestions offered here...I scanned them and “hearted”some. I probably should have done so for all, because I think everyone has good intentions for @halfpint1 and wants to see a good outcome.

Although I can relate, being a widow and living alone, I relate to half-pint more, as being in my mom’s shoes. My mom does live in assisted living and is in a loving, safe place. Still gets lots of time with family and friends. Most places also accept small pets, so half pint wouldn’t have to give up her cats.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@halfpint1 I've been thinking about you since your recent post.

You've gotten so many nice and helpful replies. People here truly care about you.

I believe many of us who are introverted have a difficult time as the hands of the clock advance. We get ourselves into a rut and then wonder how are we going to get out of it. It seems so overwhelming and depressing.

May I suggest, that each day you set yourself one small goal. It can be anything. A walk around your house just to get some fresh air. Perhaps 15 minutes sorting thru items you need to consider for donation or disposal. Its not easy, somedays you will have to push yourself. Believe it or not, it will really make you feel good about yourself.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@halfpint1 I haven't read the entire thread; but if all the replies are as helpful as those from @Allegheny , you've gotten some good ones.

When you are thoroughly fed up with your current circumstances and assuming you still enjoy life, you will overcome your shyness and make the effort to meet someone. I can't believe you've lived somewhere for 18 years and don't have a single friend...or even an acquaintance.

Until then, and maybe to help you get there, actively doing something for 15 minutes as @Allegheny suggested is an excellent idea.

When your son sees you making an effort to expand your world beyond him, you may see a favorable change in him too. He'll be happy for you.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

@halfpint1 : There is really a lot of helpful suggestions for you on this thread. Please come out and tell us your thoughts after reading this. Also, I am an introvert and have made myself do things in social settings that made me uncomfortable, but they were some of the best things that could have happened to me. You have a lot of support here, please avail yourself of it.