Wellness

[HappyDaze]

On 4/8/2014 cyndog said: Meth literally changes your brain function, 13 years is a long time. Young people can get away with some occasional use, although it rarely stays occasional. At 43 or so, I think the bad effects will start to double. She probably doesn't even think straight at this point although I'm sure she is thoroughly convinced she is. Once she gets that money, it'll be party time for the whole meth crowd. By having the intervention, I think everyone has done what they can and need not have any guilt that they didn't try.

You are correct, she cannot think straight but yes, she is thoroughly convinced she is making perfect sense in her ramblings and disjointed conversations and emails.

I really appreciate your last point, and you are right, although getting to that point where we actually believe this and are at peace with it is another story. I know we will get there but it is still so soon after the intervention that we are still questioning what we might have different, etc. All normal reactions immediately after the intervention I am sure.

[Cyndog]

I was amazed on the Intervention show and other shows about the same thing how many parents gave their kids money for drugs and drove them to get their drugs besides paying their rent, buying them groceries, etc.

[stilltamn8r]

Done it more than once (for the same person) that should tell you how successful l it was...

[ilovedaisies]

My sister's husband begged me to drive four holurs and help him get my sister into detox/rehab. I did it and she went. When BIL found out was a unisex unit - men were there, too, he was afraid she'd find another man and sprung her out in three days. I don't think I've ever been more angry. After that she was in detox and detox/rehab a few more times stemming from being admitted to the ER with seizures. She was never in more than a couple of days, though, because my BIL always got her back home. She died three years ago at 62.

[Cyndog]

Happy Daze, yes, you will have to get to the point of peace somehow. At some point, after your family has tried everything, I think you just have to let the person go or everyone else's life around her is torn up. Obviously, it isn't easy.

[Cyndog]

Lovedaisies, how frustrating he put his own comfort first.

[Venus]

My daughter went to Palm Partners rehab in Florida as it was one advertised on that show. She lasted about 3 months after she got out. The financial tab was $30,000 for three months. Her husband died of an overdose. She has been clean for 2 1/2 years now, by the Grace of God. I know that any day she can start up again, and she has said those exact words herself. Anyway, the BEST thing a family can do is help themselves. Get to Al Anon or Nar Anon. There isn't anything you can do to help the addict, and AA/NA will help you to understand and accept that.

[brandiwine]

Interventions don't work. Until the person decides they want help it's never going to work. The most important thing we as family members or friends can do is NOT enable them. You have to stand firm and use good old tough love. Those of us who have family members or close friends that are addicts have to learn to let go and find peace ourselves. We can't control others.

[HappyDaze]

On 4/8/2014 brandiwine said:

Interventions don't work. Until the person decides they want help it's never going to work. The most important thing we as family members or friends can do is NOT enable them. You have to stand firm and use good old tough love. Those of us who have family members or close friends that are addicts have to learn to let go and find peace ourselves. We can't control others.

No one is enabling her and we haven't even spoken to hear in 3 1/2 years, even when she'd call, because we told her to only call us when she is ready to get treatment (no one answers her phone calls). That is, until she received this inheritance, then the uncle called her because he is legally obligated to give her the money, as there is nothing, not one thing, in the will that will allow him to withhold the money. We've all checked with lawyers to try to stop it.

So word to the wise- ALWAYS HAVE SOME TYPE OF DISCLAIMER IN YOUR WILL FOR EACH PERSON GETTING MONEY/GOODS FROM YOU THAT THE ITEMS AND MONEY CAN BE HELD IN A TRUST IF THE PERSON IS NOT OF SOUND BODY OR MIND (drugs, addictions like gambling, mental illness, etc).

[HappyDaze]

It is widely known that addicts usually go through SEVERAL treatments before they've stayed sober. Very, very rarely does an addict get clean after just one or two attempts at treatment. How discouraging is that? And frustrating. But like you all said, it is up to them.