Wellness

[hckynut]

Wink,

Very sorry to see you having to deal with so many things at the same time. I won't repeat the good suggestions others have given you here. I have found during my tough times that Optimism has helped me immensely with making it to the other side. My best to you and to your sister.

[Winkk]

On 3/19/2015 lucylover64 said:

Wink-

Just one of the issues you mentioned would be a lot to manage--when you add them together it results in so many feelings to process. The suggestions by other posters are very good ideas, so I won't "re-hash" them! One interesting and natural thing we humans tend to do when with our feelings is to try not to focus on/dwell on the difficult ones (such as sadness, anger, hurt, etc). This approach is clearly a positive one, but the difficult feelings are real and need to be acknowledged. All feelings are OKAY! It's how we manage them that sometimes becomes more of the problem: journaling can be a very powerful way to express yourself honestly and get the feelings OUTSIDE of you so they do not overwhelm you/overpower you (in addition to the other ideas posters have offered). A gratitude journal can also help: list 3 things each day you are grateful for (big and small!) Gratitude does not wipe out the difficulties, but it can help change our thoughts a bit to help with perspective. We cannot control our feelings, they are what they are; however, we can do things to help ourselves feel comforted and supported as we manage the realities of our lives.

Best wishes to you, wink, and I hope you are able to find some comfort as you process and manage all of these issues. Please keep us posted how you are doing!

Good advice. Actually I did one day sit down and just write out everything that has happened. At first I looked at all these bad things happening and you know that old saying about things happening in 3.

But, I was reading an article about changing how you think and bad things don't really happen in three, it's just the way our minds categorize them. The situation with my ex was going to happen sooner or later because he had a bad heart and the fact that my sister's cancer is curable is a good thing. I have tried changing the way I think and I believe it's working. I was having sleepless nights but for the past several nights I've slept like a baby. It's amazing what your brain can do. Thanks.

[Luv_My_Beagle]

I think your adult children will be fine. Take care of yourself!

Your children could go through the house taking what they want, organizing all paperwork, then hire a reputable person that does estate sales. They will organize what's left and price it.

[RedTop]

Sometimes life just seems to dump a lot of issues on us all at once, and we are overwhelmed. I try to be very supportive to my family and friends, but I do not make their issues my own. I came from a long line of worriers, and watched them wear themselves down, with no effect whatsoever on the issue they were worrying about. My grandmother was prone to walking the floor and wringing her hands. My aunt let stress get to her to the point she would get physically ill and take to her bed. My mother walked the floor and smoked one cigarette after another, and got herself so upset she couldn't eat. I vowed to never be like my family. I pray about my concerns and always envision myself literally handing my burdens over to God to carry, then I pray for strength and wisdom in doing whatever I have to do. Best wishes to you with your health situation.

[pommom]

Great suggestions have been given here. I am sorry you are experiencing all of this at one time.

My suggestion would be to seek spiritual counseling and incorporate meditation in your daily routine. It is very healing and nurtures the soul.

[jaxs mom]

The things that work for me:

exercise

talking about it

writing about it

meditation and repetitive prayer

laughing, watching a funny movie, reading a funny book

spending time with my pets, hug your dog, pet your cat

if all else fails theanine supplements, it's an amino acid that is derived from green tea.

[Mom2Dogs]

Your kids will be fine....yes, they are stressed because of their dad's death and the mess he left but they will get thru it, we have all had to face difficult situations and come thru it just fine.

I understand the obligation to your sister and hopefully the mass your doctor finds will prove to be nothing serious, don't worry if you don't have to! My mom had b.cancer and did not even tell her kids (I am one of 5) until after the surgery because she did not want to worry us...while we were not happy about not being at the hospital for the surgery, it was her choice so you do not have to tell you children anything until you need to.

Hopefully after your appointment all will be fine and you can start to concentrate on your sister, who really needs you.

Best of luck to you

[Stella Dallas]

Will sympathy help? Because you really have mine; I feel so sorry that you're having to deal with all this. Please feel free to come here and vent, update us, etc., whenever you need to.

Many hugs and good thoughts for you (too bad there isn't a "hug" icon)

[Mom2twocuties]

Wink. I'm so sorry you are going through so much. I know that sometimes it just feels like too much. When I saw you post i thought, there is someone else having some struggles. Earlier in the week I wrote 2 threads about anxiety and taking a day at a time. All the advice that others have written I hope can help you. You are not alone and try to take a day at a time( I'm trying too

[Winkk]

Thanks ladies you have offered a lot of support, I really appreciate it.