Wellness

[Yardlie]

As I posted earlier, my dad passed August 3 from a heart condition. He had been home under hospice care that last two months. I was very close to my dad. When my mother and I found that my dad had passed, naturally I was extremely upset and crying uncontrollably that first night. Due to certain circumstances, we were able to have my dad at home for almost 3 hours after he passed, so I had a lot of time to spend with him, talk to him, hug him, pray for him, and say my good-byes. After that, I just became very stoic. My sisters flew in and were crying at the funeral, and I was able to get up and eulogize my dad with absolutely no tears. I had written a special letter to my dad about three weeks before he passed telling him how much I loved him and how wonderful a father he was. I shared parts of this letter in my eulogy. I think I must have seemed like a zombie, because I seemed so unemotional at the funeral. Since then, I have only gotten emotional when I visit my dad's grave or go into his bedroom where his hospital bed was.

I have read about all the stages of grief, but I don't seem to be going through them. I'm just stuck in this phase, or does the fact that I can get emotional when I am near his grave count? I don't really break down at his gravesite, but I do get tears in my eyes.

Do you think I should seek further grief support, or is this just my way of grieving? Thank you!