Finding New Meaning - Page 2

hoosieroriginal · ‎03-04-2012

@NycVixen wrote:
I'm not sure if this is the correct place for this post. I wanted to begin a conversation about what has helped me to finally shift my attention from acquiring material items for the sake of to finding new meaning, purpose and utility from other more healthier sources.

First of all, I'll state that I've been going through a very difficult time trying to have a baby since 2015. That struggle definitely was a main reason why my shopping got really out of hand since then. However, Since September of last year, I was able to make significant change.

I began to change my mindset little by little. I am a lover of beautiful things mostly jewelry, handbags and outerwear. It was hard for me to say no to acquiring just 'one more' because my thinking was of how that item would increase my happiness and therefore I justified the expenditure. However, it was never 'just one more' but many more.

I began to focus on how my spending was making other people rich and myself poorer. I began to focus on how having more savings would allow me to really do and have the things that I dream of and therefore would in the long run bring me true happiness. Things such as being able to travel to places I dream of or take more cruises. Buying the house of my dreams. Relocate to a place I'd rather live. Help others. Importantly, how increased savings would empower me as a woman and a person.

@NycVixen - I totally agree with you - when you finally start purging things from your life, your mind is clearer - you start to realize that "things" aren't what make you happy. Then you start to realize how much larger your bank account could be if you hadn't bought all that "stuff". I have reached that place in my life - clothes, jewelry, shoes, none of it means a thing to me anymore - I have given away everything but the basics in my house. I feel so much lighter and my bank account is in such better shape. Shopping on a daily basis is "mindless spending". I always ask myself, "do I need it, or do I want it". I replenish things as I run out, I try not to hoard anything.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@Trinity11 perfectly said.I hope you are doing well now.You will have to take special care of yourself and do what it takes to be strong.So happy that the heart attack didn't take the fight out of you and you are here to post with us....thank you for the reminder to take time for family and friends and how important they are n our lives.

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@NycVixen

Thank you for your post.

When I make the choice to NOT purchase an item, it is part of a shift in thinking from the standpoint of "collecting."

I have to think of a collection of items as representative of what? and then I picture them needing "upkeep."(dusting, washing, sorting, storing)

The "collecting" mindset is not helpful toward making my days count.

I like your sign off line "live with intention."

For instance, my goal when first retiring was to "re-capture" lost time. I did this sub-consciously.

Who can ever do this? We cannot; and more importantly I really don't want to try and "recapture" lost time. I want to enjoy my world as it has been given to me NOW.

Your post helped me put this in perspective.

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@dex wrote:
@Trinity11 perfectly said.I hope you are doing well now.You will have to take special care of yourself and do what it takes to be strong.So happy that the heart attack didn't take the fight out of you and you are here to post with us....thank you for the reminder to take time for family and friends and how important they are n our lives.

I am blessed. There was no damage this time. I was assured that I will have a new lease on life if I take the meds and eat very healthy.

Thanks for the well wishes. I really appreciate it.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@NycVixen I know the frustration of not conceiving.I had countless expensive surgeries while other women in the hospital were ending their pregnancies.It seemed that life was really unfair to me and overly generous to those who didn't appreciate their blessings.It was easy to make myself feel better for a moment by shopping too.I never was able to conceive but we did adopt the most wonderful baby boy.His birth mom was fourteen when he was born.She was an amazing young woman and wanted more for her baby than she could offer at that time.She asked us to be present at birth and I have to say that I felt so much love for her and our baby that day he was born.I am forever grateful to her for the greatest gift a person can receive.

x Hedge · ‎08-18-2016

In other words, you've started to make some choices consciously rather than reflexively, and with that comes a need to prioritize beyond the often impulsive, 'I want'.
Welcome to adulthood.

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

@Trinity11 wrote:
@NycVixen Such a beautifully written thread and some wonderful contributions.

I had my second heart attack thirteen days ago. All that was important to me while I reviewed my life was my family and friends and things were the last on my list of importance. Cultivate good friendships, let the people you love know it. Tomorrow is never promised and material possessions really take a back seat in the scheme of things...

Wow @Trinity11. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Many thanks for taking the time to write and for your kind words. My husband is always telling me that I write well but it's hard for me to take a compliment due to having a really critical mother.

Love is so important yet it's the one thing that gets trampled on and taken for granted the most. I hope you continue find yourself surrounded with all the love and support necessary to facilitate a speedy recovery . God bless .

~Live with Intention~

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

@LTT1 wrote:
@NycVixen

Thank you for your post.
When I make the choice to NOT purchase an item, it is part of a shift in thinking from the standpoint of "collecting."

I have to think of a collection of items as representative of what? and then I picture them needing "upkeep."(dusting, washing, sorting, storing)

That mindset is not helpful toward making my days count.
I like your sign off line "live with intention."

For instance, my goal when first retiring was to "re-capture" lost time. I did this sub-consciously.

Who can ever do this? We cannot and more importantly I really don't want to. I want to enjoy my world as it has been given to me NOW.

Your post helped me put this in perspective.

@LTT1 I'm so happy to hear that my post helped you. That brings me joy. My signature line is a motto I embraced a few years ago but really came into it's own since I made these changes.

Collecting can be a beautiful thing but it can definitely get out of hand. I strongly recommend meditation.

As human beings, we are either stuck thinking about the past or the future but seldomly on the present; we need to take steps daily to make the future happen and we can't change the past. As a result, unbeknown to us, we stop moving forward. Being aware of how you feel and being mindful of your thoughts helps to regain a sense of calm and focus so we can be present in the now, which will ultimately dictate our future

~Live with Intention~

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@dex wrote:
@NycVixen I know the frustration of not conceiving.I had countless expensive surgeries while other women in the hospital were ending their pregnancies.It seemed that life was really unfair to me and overly generous to those who didn't appreciate their blessings.It was easy to make myself feel better for a moment by shopping too.I never was able to conceive but we did adopt the most wonderful baby boy.His birth mom was fourteen when he was born.She was an amazing young woman and wanted more for her baby than she could offer at that time.She asked us to be present at birth and I have to say that I felt so much love for her and our baby that day he was born.I am forever grateful to her for the greatest gift a person can receive.

@dex

A prime example of "If you love someone let him go." This young girl had the courage to let her child live and give him to you so he could experience all that life has to offer.

I didn't know this about you, Whatnow, but now I do. This was a beautiful gift, for all of you.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

@x Hedge wrote:
In other words, you've started to make some choices consciously rather than reflexively, and with that comes a need to prioritize beyond the often impulsive, 'I want'.
Welcome to adulthood.

@x Hedge Not necessarily. It was mostly due to the pain I was going through suffering pregnancy loss and not receiving the love and support I needed to deal with the sadness and depression. Shopping allowed me to have a distraction and I have to admit it did help but it's not healthy.

I would urge you to try to remain open minded when someone is honest about their experience and is trying to share to help others. Sharing is not easy. Judging sometimes is too easy.

~Live with Intention~