Re: Do you know anyone who has or had hospice care

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

@Kachina624 I am so sorry you had to go through that. I also had "problems" with the home health "nurses"..........they would forget to change my mother's morphine patch, and she would go into withdrawals. di

♥Surface of the Sun♥

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@Desertdi Most people rave about hospice programs but sister and I have a different opinion. They told us we couldn't overdose dad with the Morphine so we administered it and I've never gotten over the feeling we killed him with it. We called at 2am and ask for someone to come help us and they refused. He died about 4:30am.

After it was all over, we had a conference call with the director and really tied into her, for all the good it did.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

When my DH was very ill with complications from Alzheimer's and I cared for him at home, I talked to his doctor and he approved Hospice care for my DH. They came to the house and set everything up; they were so very helpful to me and him. He passed away in our home after about six months.

My suggestion is for you to contact his doctor and see what he can help you with.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Yulka wrote:
You should check up the nursing home they plan to send him to to find out the kind of service they will give your DH My late husband had to go to a nursing home after his surgery which he signed himself out of due to the care and nurses having way to many patients to help them all He was getting home care also but as you said not everyday
Good Luck in finding the right place for him to go to with your blessings

He was right to leave the nursing home. Too many patients, too many mistakes made. I work in a nursing home and would avoid it if there was another choice. It is also sad to see the lack of work ethic but that is everywhere today.

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

@halfpint1First, my sympathy for what you and DH are trying to cope with.

Then, please ask locally what the Hospice "rules" are - terminal within 6 months was true pretty much everywhere at one time. It's not now true, so they may be able to give you more help than that.

My older brother had hospice at home many years ago and it was pretty much for him what I think you've been told. Friends came and helped my SIL set up a hospital bed in a spare bedroom. That, an oxygen source, and a potty chair were what I remember in that "hospital room" where my brother lived the last 3 1/2 months of his life. He'd been a smoker and an alcoholic and was actually proud to tell me about sigining the Hospice pledge acknowledging his illness.

Hospice personnel were so helpful. My SIL credits them with showing her how best to care for my brother and almost as important, how to care for herself mentally and physically through those months.

Finally, what I hear most often from family and friends who have faced these serious illnesses is that they waited too long to investigate Hospice, not that it felt ghoulish to do it. Especially now when the patient may not need to be imminently terminal, I'd be finding out how Hospice works in my area if I were you. The "rules" change from place to place and from time to time.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Big Sister wrote:
When my DH was very ill with complications from Alzheimer's and I cared for him at home, I talked to his doctor and he approved Hospice care for my DH. They came to the house and set everything up; they were so very helpful to me and him. He passed away in our home after about six months.

My suggestion is for you to contact his doctor and see what he can help you with.

Have used hospice twice and they are vvery special people. They want to help in every way.....from care of your loved one to going to the store to get food for you.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

@Kachina624 wrote:
@Desertdi Most people rave about hospice programs but sister and I have a different opinion. They told us we couldn't overdose dad with the Morphine so we administered it and I've never gotten over the feeling we killed him with it. We called at 2am and ask for someone to come help us and they refused. He died about 4:30am.

After it was all over, we had a conference call with the director and really tied into her, for all the good it did.

Kachina I'm So Sorry. I no it's no consolation, but I felt the same way with both my mom, at age 95, and her ster. There really are n "good" alternatives that I'm aware of.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

My father had hospice care at home during the last two months of his gastric cancer. That was in central NJ and I cannot give enough praise to the nurses and volunteers who helped all of us through the ordeal. My father's pain was relieved and the nurses treated us family members as part of the whole circle of care. They taught us what to expect, what to do, and how to deal with Dad. I would have been lost without them. My father died just as he wanted to, with his loving family by his side. It was a moving experience. They were truly angels of mercy. When my time comes, that's how I want to be treated.

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

I echo everyone else here in their advice. I feel for you during this difficult time. I hope that there is another family member who can help you navigate all of this with you so that you are not alone.

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

halfpint,

It sounds like the doctor has determined your husband to be in the final stage of COPD. If congestive heart failure is also an issue, then your husband's situation is not good, and you are facing tough decisions. Hospitals have social workers on staff for the purpose of helping patients who need further care outside the hospital. They can find available beds in whatever type of facility your husband would need. Please talk directly to the social worker covering your husband's case, to know all the options.

My MIL had suffered with COPD for 10 years when she had a mild heart attack. A heart cath revealed 2 calcified blockages in major arteries of her heart that could not be cleared. The damage from the heart attack caused her heart to weaken and not pump as efficiently, meaning congestive heart failure. Added to her damaged lungs from years of smoking, she lived only a few short weeks.

Per her wishes, my MIL died in her home. My husband had lived with her Monday - Friday for over 6 weeks prior to her death. Two other children stayed in the house and cared for her on the weekends. A home health nurse came every other day, and Hospice was also involved. This county does not have a residential Hospice facility, but there is one in a nearby county, and I know it stays full and provides end of life care for their patients. I hear very good things about that place.

If you bring your husband home to die, you will need someone else there with you to help with his care. My MIL was able to get up to a bedside potty chair right up to the morning she died, which made things easier for my husband and his siblings, but 24 hour care is too hard for just one person. I know this is a very difficult time for you and your son. Sending prayers of peace to you with the decisions you have to make in the days ahead.