Wellness

[gracie2014]

What I find effective is called mirroring...you tell your doctor or whoever something..then you ask him to repeat back to you what you have just said.....this oftentimes lets you know whether he understands what you have just said..ask him/her what he believes by what you just said and what he/she just repeated back...ask how he would feel if he were the patient asking the question..do it in a friendly manner...don't be confrontive.

[dooBdoo]

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gracie2014 wrote:

What I find effective is called mirroring...you tell your doctor or whoever something..then you ask him to repeat back to you what you have just said.....this oftentimes lets you know whether he understands what you have just said..ask him/her what he believes by what you just said and what he/she just repeated back...ask how he would feel if he were the patient asking the question..do it in a friendly manner...don't be confrontive.

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          Wonderful post, @gracie2014!    I've done that, too.   It's also part of "active listening," and it works remarkably well.    Great advice!❤️

[gracie2014]

@dooBdoo, thanks...I do this with friends and family members..sometimes people don't hear what you are trying to say.

[mistriTsquirrel]

@dooBdoo

I'll be weaning off the Cymbalta soon.  Maybe withdrawal is no big deal for some people, but I have to prepare for what it may do to me.  My doctor says I can't start a new med until I'm off of it.  Which means I'll be pretty much unmedicated for awhile during the worst depressive episode of my life.  

I'm feeling very frustrated today, because the feedback I've been getting indicates that I'm either not getting through to the people I'm speaking with, or they just aren't listening.  I'm really getting tired of people telling me to think positively, eat better, exercise, etc. because I was doing those things before I was this ill.  The fact that I'm not doing those things now should be an indication that my functioning is being held up in some way, but instead, people are acting like I'm just not trying hard enough.  It has apparently occurred to no one that I have to have sufficient neurotransmitters in my brain in order to think positively, feel motivated, etc.  A person who is at least minimally functional--like I used to be--will be able to anticipate the reward or feeling of relief that comes with making steps forward.  But I am at the point now where I don't feel much of a rewarding feeling or sense of relief if/when I do things.  Science tells us that chemicals in our brain are responsible for those feelings.  If we don't have sufficient chemical messengers to relay the message, we cannot feel those feelings.  I have positive affirmations and reminders posted to myself all over this house.  It isn't doing a thing.  My brain doesn't feel what it's supposed to feel.  I tell myself to keep going, but I don't feel encouraged.

I guess I'm done trying to explain this to people, because no matter how hard I try to relay this message, nobody seems to listen or understand.

[mistriTsquirrel]

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@gracie2014 wrote:

What I find effective is called mirroring...you tell your doctor or whoever something..then you ask him to repeat back to you what you have just said.....this oftentimes lets you know whether he understands what you have just said..ask him/her what he believes by what you just said and what he/she just repeated back...ask how he would feel if he were the patient asking the question..do it in a friendly manner...don't be confrontive.

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@gracie2014

If my doctor would give me the chance to do that, I would.  He cuts me off mid-sentence.  When we're on the phone, he will literally tell me goodbye when I am in the middle of asking a question.

In anticipation of this, I left a message with his receptionist today that I had several questions to ask him, and that I would need him to call back when he had more than just a few minutes to talk, because it would take longer than a few minutes.  When he called back, I was lucky to be able to ask all but one question before he said goodbye and hung up.

So there's no way to do that with him.

I kind of did that with my mother today.  I told her I didn't feel like she understood what I was saying.  She told me what she thought I was saying, and I told her she was incorrect.  Then I re-explained it to her, and she kept parroting the same carp to me that she was saying before.  It's like talking to a brick wall.  

[mistriTsquirrel]

I'm hesitant to speak to people about my depression anymore, because they don't listen.  They want to give me advice for building a house on solid ground when I'm sinking in quicksand.  I'm tired of screaming for help and being told that I just need to stop being so negative, try harder, eat right and exercise.  That's what I was doing, and it didn't stop the depression from getting worse.

 If I get through this, I guess it's going to be with very little emotional support.  At this point, I feel more alone when I'm interacting with people than I do when I'm by myself.

[dooBdoo]

          I do relate to what you write, @mistriTsquirrel.   I think other posters here do, too.    One of the most devastating problems is that at the very time we need our brain to operate well...  so we can listen, read, learn, really "hear," and do the things that might help us the most...  our brain is misfiring and malfunctioning, and it's sabotaging us.   With suicide ideation, I sometimes describe it as being like an alien sneaks in on nasty tiptoes and takes over a person's mind.    (I think of the movie, "The Body Snatchers.")   There's so much we have to contend with.    Also, as you said, we have to try new medications, most of which need time before we know if they're helping or if the dosage is right.   Then, we need time to back off one in order to start another.   In my case, I have to do this in conjunction with treatments/preventions for disabling atypical migraine disease.   It's complex, confusing, and much more of a daily, steep, daunting climb than people who have never fallen into the deep, shadowy, black, nightmare ravines of depression can comprehend.    But I do feel many people try, and genuinely care.     I continue to pray and to send positive thoughts for you and also for everyone else who reads and posts here.❤️

[gracie2014]

@mistriTsquirrel I get it, I truly do..Can you email him the questions..he has no right to trat you that way...but In was training to be a clinical social worker and many of my colleagues should not have been talking/providing therapy for anybody..sometimes I have to go on sabbatical...can't deal with the healtcare providers...I am here for you..always know that.

And your mom if you ever figure out her diagnosis..please let me know..she reminds me of a few of my relatives...

[gracie2014]

Yep, what @dooBdoo wrote!

[dooBdoo]

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@gracie2014 wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel I get it, I truly do..Can you email him the questions..he has no right to trat you that way...but In was training to be a clinical social worker and many of my colleagues should not have been talking/providing therapy for anybody..sometimes I have to go on sabbatical...can't deal with the healtcare providers...I am here for you..always know that.

And your mom if you ever figure out her diagnosis..please let me know..she reminds me of a few of my relatives...

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          Some people are in the wrong profession, other times it's just a really bad match...   I've moved a lot, and in each new location I had to keep trying until I finally found someone who was the right therapist for me.    Sometimes it was a psychiatrist, other times a psychologist or social worker.   I've worked with medical professionals all my adult life, and many are family or friends, so I do see the human side of the individuals, their heart and soul.   Even so, not all of them are well-suited for their chosen specialty.