Wellness

[mistriTsquirrel]

@LilacTree

Thank you, Ford!!

To be honest, I don't feel like I belong anywhere.  I'm just a weird squirrel.  Always have been, always will be.  heh

I wouldn't say I'm doing that much better really...but I don't feel consumed by grief the way I was for about 2 years following my dad's death.  Now it's depression and anxiety again, aggravated by the fact that I have been having dizziness and balance problems (the above picture was taken before all of that...LoL).  I haven't been able to work, and the doctor appointments and tests don't seem to have an end.  I hope they will be over soon, but who knows.

It sounds like life has been quite a mix of good and bad for you and your family.  I'm sorry to hear about the broken shoulder, but it sounds like you are on the mend, so I'm happy about that.

The daughter you live with...is she seeing a counselor or other mental health professional for her depression?  It can become so overwheming to deal with at any time, but when you are sick and can't work, that just adds fuel to the frustration and feelings of helplessness.

[LilacTree]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@LilacTree

Thank you, Ford!!

To be honest, I don't feel like I belong anywhere.  I'm just a weird squirrel.  Always have been, always will be.  heh

I wouldn't say I'm doing that much better really...but I don't feel consumed by grief the way I was for about 2 years following my dad's death.  Now it's depression and anxiety again, aggravated by the fact that I have been having dizziness and balance problems (the above picture was taken before all of that...LoL).  I haven't been able to work, and the doctor appointments and tests don't seem to have an end.  I hope they will be over soon, but who knows.

It sounds like life has been quite a mix of good and bad for you and your family.  I'm sorry to hear about the broken shoulder, but it sounds like you are on the mend, so I'm happy about that.

The daughter you live with...is she seeing a counselor or other mental health professional for her depression?  It can become so overwheming to deal with at any time, but when you are sick and can't work, that just adds fuel to the frustration and feelings of helplessness.

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@mistriTsquirrel

Mistri, I dare not mention the words "therapy" or "depression" to my daughter.  She gets furious.  She is sure her brain is dying from Lyme (diagnosed) and meningitis (not diagnosed), and I can't find anything to dispute that.  I don't want to go into it in detail, but even though we live together, there is no communication in this house.  I have sworn to stand by her no matter what, and that's what I am doing because I love her dearly.   However, whatever is going on, I am not allowed "in."  She does have friends and goes out, but when she isn't doing that, she is in her room all day and all night.  I know she is frightened but wants no help from me.

Have you been tested as to the dizziness and balance issues?  That sounds more physical than depression, but I could be wrong.  I am thinking inner ear.  My own dad had terrible problems with that and it was cured by a procedure.

Again, it's wonderful to have you back.  I am so hopeful that you will find a way to good health again.  I hope you have support around you . . . I think it's so vitally important. ~Ford

[mistriTsquirrel]

@LilacTree

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter doesn't want to consider therapy or anything at this point, but maybe she'll change her mind.  It's stressful being ill, and sometimes it's good to have a little help with that.

As far as my dizziness and balance problems go, I have a test at a hospital on monday, and then a follow-up appointment with the ENT after that.  I also have a cardiologist appointment scheduled.  If these two doctors can't figure out my problem, I may be off to the neurologist.  I'm also having other symptoms, but my primary care physician doesn't seem worried about them.  She thinks this is all anxiety, but anxiety has never produced constant dizziness and problems with my balance in the past, and I've never heard of anyone having that as a symptom.  I can understand that some people may have it during a panic attack, but not all the time.  Anyway, I hope they can figure it out soon, and it's not something serious.

The only support I have offline is my mother.  That's not so good.  But my friends are all gone at this point. 

[fortune]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@LilacTree

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter doesn't want to consider therapy or anything at this point, but maybe she'll change her mind.  It's stressful being ill, and sometimes it's good to have a little help with that.

As far as my dizziness and balance problems go, I have a test at a hospital on monday, and then a follow-up appointment with the ENT after that.  I also have a cardiologist appointment scheduled.  If these two doctors can't figure out my problem, I may be off to the neurologist.  I'm also having other symptoms, but my primary care physician doesn't seem worried about them.  She thinks this is all anxiety, but anxiety has never produced constant dizziness and problems with my balance in the past, and I've never heard of anyone having that as a symptom.  I can understand that some people may have it during a panic attack, but not all the time.  Anyway, I hope they can figure it out soon, and it's not something serious.

The only support I have offline is my mother.  That's not so good.  But my friends are all gone at this point. 

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@mistriTsquirrel

What a shame you're suffering from dizziness and balance problems!  I had the very same thing several years ago.  I went to a neurologist and he diagnosed me with BPPV after performing a simple test.  It results from having calcium deposits on the hairs in the inner ear.  I went to physical therapy to a therapist skilled in this area.  After doing specific exercises to dislodge the deposit, I got well.  Here is a link to Mayo Clinic's info on BPPV.  You certainly don't need this right now (or any time)!  I hope everything gets better for you soon!!!

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vertigo/basics/definition/con-20028216

[mistriTsquirrel]

@fortune

Thanks, fortune!!  I think that is what they are testing me for.

I hope that's all it is...and that I can go back to my primary care physician and tell her that it wasn't "just anxiety."  I hate when people write off my complaints as "just mental" without taking the time to help me investigate further.  Just because I have anxiety and depression, it doesn't mean I can't have legitimate medical problems going on as well.  I hate being treated like I'm a head case.

I may look for another primary care physicain after this.  Not sure yet.

[LilacTree]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@LilacTree

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter doesn't want to consider therapy or anything at this point, but maybe she'll change her mind.  It's stressful being ill, and sometimes it's good to have a little help with that.

As far as my dizziness and balance problems go, I have a test at a hospital on monday, and then a follow-up appointment with the ENT after that.  I also have a cardiologist appointment scheduled.  If these two doctors can't figure out my problem, I may be off to the neurologist.  I'm also having other symptoms, but my primary care physician doesn't seem worried about them.  She thinks this is all anxiety, but anxiety has never produced constant dizziness and problems with my balance in the past, and I've never heard of anyone having that as a symptom.  I can understand that some people may have it during a panic attack, but not all the time.  Anyway, I hope they can figure it out soon, and it's not something serious.

The only support I have offline is my mother.  That's not so good.  But my friends are all gone at this point. 

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@mistriTsquirrel

Mistri, I've had panic disorder all of my life, since a very young girl.  At menopause it increased to the point that I had eight to ten episodes a day.  That's when the doc put me on alprazolam (Xanax) and while I still experience anxiety from time to time, I have not had a panic attack since.  I am on the same dosage today as I was at the time (around age 48).  Obviously it replaces something in my brain that is either missing or overly active.

I can't say I've had dizziness or balance issues.  My symptoms were all mental . . . feelings of intense fear for no apparent reason.   That is also when my attacks of gross fatigue started.  I have always attributed this to hormonal issues, as the attacks started at puberty and exacerbated at menopause.

Your last sentence makes me very sad.  You're such an intelligent, expressive individual on this BB.  Do you pursue friendships yourself? 

How did your tests go on Monday?  As I think I said prior, my hunch is an ear problem . . . but that may be too simplistic.  Please let us know the outcome.  ~Ford

[mistriTsquirrel]

@LilacTree

The tests didn't go as well as I'd hoped.  The woman doing the tests said that I have some sort of vestibular disorder, but I would need more tests to determine exactly what it is.

I was hoping it would be what @fortune was talking about, and I'd just need some physical therapy to get better, but it looks like it may be more complicated than that.

I'm really down about this.  And I have a cardiologist appointment tomorrow, because I need to be checked for AFib.  The congenital heart problem I had a cardiac ablation for years ago predisposes me to AFib (and heart failure).  No one told me that then.  I had to read it on the Heart Association's website.  I'm angry that my cardiologist didn't tell me that then, but I suppose it's possible that wasn't known at the time.

As far as making friends goes, it's hard to go out with this dizziness problem.  Also, I'm not working, so I have no money, which takes many options off the table in terms of ways to meet people.

I know that a lot of people say to meet people at church.  I'm still not a church attendee, or even a Christian.  I do pray occasionally now...but I don't feel like anyone's listening, so it is not much comfort to me.  I also talk to my dad sometimes, but I don't think he can hear me either.  It's just wishful thinking, I guess.

[LilacTree]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@LilacTree

The tests didn't go as well as I'd hoped.  The woman doing the tests said that I have some sort of vestibular disorder, but I would need more tests to determine exactly what it is.

I was hoping it would be what @fortune was talking about, and I'd just need some physical therapy to get better, but it looks like it may be more complicated than that.

I'm really down about this.  And I have a cardiologist appointment tomorrow, because I need to be checked for AFib.  The congenital heart problem I had a cardiac ablation for years ago predisposes me to AFib (and heart failure).  No one told me that then.  I had to read it on the Heart Association's website.  I'm angry that my cardiologist didn't tell me that then, but I suppose it's possible that wasn't known at the time.

As far as making friends goes, it's hard to go out with this dizziness problem.  Also, I'm not working, so I have no money, which takes many options off the table in terms of ways to meet people.

I know that a lot of people say to meet people at church.  I'm still not a church attendee, or even a Christian.  I do pray occasionally now...but I don't feel like anyone's listening, so it is not much comfort to me.  I also talk to my dad sometimes, but I don't think he can hear me either.  It's just wishful thinking, I guess.

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@mistriTsquirrel

I hate to hear that it could be a heart problem, Mistri.  I would have to look up what "vestibular" means, although I've heard of it.  Doctors don't tell us a lot of things, especially when we are young . . . I think because if it's something that may or may not happen in the future, they figure you'll suffer symptoms at that time and have them checked out, so why set you up for worrying years in advance.  Or maybe, as you said he/she just didn't know.

I am homebound also, for different reasons.  I haven't met with my old work friends in several years, although we do keep in touch.  I am 78 with RA, and getting around is so painful that I don't care much anyway.  My girls come over, in fact we are having a birthday party for one of my granddaughters on Sunday and most likely they will come here rather than me go there (long stairwell to my daughter's apartment . . . they have to carry me up). 

As for religion, I have none . . . and I never pray.  We have discussed that before.  I thought I would find it as I grew older, but I never have.  I guess one cannot put something there that will just never be.  Wish I could, life would be easier.  I do "talk" to my sister, whom I lost five years ago.  Every morning when I awake, she is my first thought.  As you say, it's more for me than for her because my reality is that she is gone.  We are what we are, aren't we?

Please keep us posted after your cardiology visit.  I hope it is not bad news.  ~Ford

ETA:  I did look up "vestibular disorder" and it does involve the inner ear and other causes.  The article said it was very hard to diagnose.  I do hope it's that though, not A Fib, because I think it might be more treatable.  Anyway, my thoughts are with you.  Good luck tomorrow with the tests (and I hope it doesn't take weeks to get the results).

[Trinity11]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@LilacTree

The tests didn't go as well as I'd hoped.  The woman doing the tests said that I have some sort of vestibular disorder, but I would need more tests to determine exactly what it is.

I was hoping it would be what @fortune was talking about, and I'd just need some physical therapy to get better, but it looks like it may be more complicated than that.

I'm really down about this.  And I have a cardiologist appointment tomorrow, because I need to be checked for AFib.  The congenital heart problem I had a cardiac ablation for years ago predisposes me to AFib (and heart failure).  No one told me that then.  I had to read it on the Heart Association's website.  I'm angry that my cardiologist didn't tell me that then, but I suppose it's possible that wasn't known at the time.

As far as making friends goes, it's hard to go out with this dizziness problem.  Also, I'm not working, so I have no money, which takes many options off the table in terms of ways to meet people.

I know that a lot of people say to meet people at church.  I'm still not a church attendee, or even a Christian.  I do pray occasionally now...but I don't feel like anyone's listening, so it is not much comfort to me.  I also talk to my dad sometimes, but I don't think he can hear me either.  It's just wishful thinking, I guess.

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I have afib and was in heart failure for a few months after a heart attack in June. Whatever, you do ......DO NOT believe most of what is written on the internet regarding both conditions. A lot of it is just wrong on every level. I am no longer in heart failure but take meds for a fib. It can be controlled and you can live a reasonably active life with afib. Stress will affect you but it isn't the death sentence the American Heart Association makes it sound like.

My best to you with your cardiologist visit. And if you are not certain about a diagnosis always get a second opinion. My first cardiologist was one of those you have six months to live types, the next doctor I went to was a lot more upbeat.

[fortune]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

@LilacTree

The tests didn't go as well as I'd hoped.  The woman doing the tests said that I have some sort of vestibular disorder, but I would need more tests to determine exactly what it is.

I was hoping it would be what @fortune was talking about, and I'd just need some physical therapy to get better, but it looks like it may be more complicated than that.

I'm really down about this.  And I have a cardiologist appointment tomorrow, because I need to be checked for AFib.  The congenital heart problem I had a cardiac ablation for years ago predisposes me to AFib (and heart failure).  No one told me that then.  I had to read it on the Heart Association's website.  I'm angry that my cardiologist didn't tell me that then, but I suppose it's possible that wasn't known at the time.

As far as making friends goes, it's hard to go out with this dizziness problem.  Also, I'm not working, so I have no money, which takes many options off the table in terms of ways to meet people.

I know that a lot of people say to meet people at church.  I'm still not a church attendee, or even a Christian.  I do pray occasionally now...but I don't feel like anyone's listening, so it is not much comfort to me.  I also talk to my dad sometimes, but I don't think he can hear me either.  It's just wishful thinking, I guess.

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@mistriTsquirrel

What "tests" did the "woman" give you?  I'm just wondering, because a vestibular disorder is usually BPPV (over 50%) of the time.  I was diagnosed by a neurologist.  I suggest you try to see someone who is more knowledgeable about this.  It is hard to diagnose--especially if the medical person doesn't know what the heck she's doing!!  You need to get a handle on this sooner rather than later!!!  When I had BPPV, I couldn't drive or do much of anything.  You need to get assertive about this!  Please try to worry about one thing at a time!  HUGS to you, Mistri!!!