Wellness

[mishka14]

I am on anti-depression meds.   Whenever I am having a bad anxiet/depressiion day and try to talk to my husband about it,  he has nothing to say and gives me the impression he wish I would not speak of it...and it just go away.

Anyone have a similiar problems and how do you deal with your spouse or family not wanting to talk about this subject?

[software]

Why don't you ask if he could set aside a time once a week or something to chat, maybe go to a private table at a coffee shop or a park or something.  Maybe he is otherwise pre-occupied when you want to talk.

It would do you both good.

I don't think I could live with someone so uncaring.

@mishka14

[Noel7]

---

@mishka14 wrote:

I am on anti-depression meds.   Whenever I am having a bad anxiet/depressiion day and try to talk to my husband about it,  he has nothing to say and gives me the impression he wish I would not speak of it...and it just go away.

Anyone have a similiar problems and how do you deal with your spouse or family not wanting to talk about this subject?

---

@mishka14

Just a guess, but maybe he doesn't understand what depression is or how to handle it.

What about asking if he would go to a doctor appointment with you and the MD could help explain it to him?

[JaneMarple]

---

@mishka14 wrote:

I am on anti-depression meds.   Whenever I am having a bad anxiet/depressiion day and try to talk to my husband about it,  he has nothing to say and gives me the impression he wish I would not speak of it...and it just go away.

Anyone have a similiar problems and how do you deal with your spouse or family not wanting to talk about this subject?

---

It is my experience that some people can't deal with illness and would rather not talk about it. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

[IMW]

Schedule an appointment with a therapist. This can be a thorny problem.

[freakygirl]

i'm sorry that you can't talk to your husband about it, but depression and the like is not an easy subject and not everyone is equipped to deal with it. i'm hoping he's supportive at least in some way. you may be better off speaking to someone trained to deal with depression. it may do you more good and be exceedingly helpful to see a specialist. 

[Annabellethecat66]

Many of you have read here how I've 'spoken' about growing up with an Aunt who was bi-polar, etc.  Back then (I'm 70) people didn't know much about it.  She would spend time in institutions, etc.  Anyway, I am mentioning this (again) because I'm someone who's spent a lifetime with it.  So many members of my family have it, you have no idea.

Anyway, here's what I'd tell any of you.  What can they say? Most people feel helpless and frustrated that they can't do anything to help.  We live in a society where it's "take a pill and you'll get better".  We now know many things can't be 'cured' by a pill.  It's difficult for those who care and can't help.

Anyway, I'll spare you the bla bla.  My advice to you and others would be to put it in writing (or type it) however you wish.  Pour your heart out on what you are feeling.  If it gets too painful, save what you've done for another day and come back to it.  It might take days or even longer to finish it, but please do finish it......and save it.  Print it out and hand it to anyone who is close to you.

I would tell you though to read it over and be careful to not blame anyone and not say things like, "you don't understand".  Of course they don't understand.  You didn't until you experienced it.  

Be kind and just keep it to how you feel.  If I were you I'd probably even keep a kind of diary for days or from now on.

Many times it is difficult to put into verbal works one's emotions.  Often it's easier to express emotions in writing (or typing).

This is what I'd do if I were experiencing depression.  Right now we are dealing with my little sister who has been in a very, very deep state of depression.  My other little sister is going crazy trying to help her to no avail.  

It's difficult for everyone.  Please remember that too.

[MickD]

@mishka14 I am so sorry that you are going through this disease.  It is debilitating, uncontrollable, and often chronic.  Has your husband gone with you to an MD and or therapist appointment?  Hearing it from a third party will get the point across.  Good luck and let us know of your progress.

[AuntG]

Just guessing that he figures your medication should be taking care of the problem.

[mistriTsquirrel]

@mishka14

I think it may help for him to hear an explanation of depression from your psychiatrist, and/or to go with you to a counseling session to talk about it with a counselor.

I've pretty much given up talking to my family about it.  They want me to be understanding about their problems but can't seem to muster any concern when it comes to mine.  I've realized that I need to talk to people outside of my family if I want any support, because I'm not going to get any from those closest to me.  

Hopefully your husband just doesn't understand and doesn't know how to react.  He may need some info and guidance about how to be supportive.  If he refuses to be supportive or is simply not interested or able, you may want to look into support groups.

It's very lonely to have no one to talk to about it.  I started a thread here about depression years ago that is many pages long.  There's no need to read through all those pages, but if you feel like talking, be sure to tag me using the "@" so I'll get a notification, as I don't always think to check the thread when I sign in.

https://community.qvc.com/t5/Wellness/Depression/m-p/324341#M8460