Wellness

[IMW]

You deserve the very best quality of life possible. Tell you daughters to wait until you’re gone to count your $  

Your teeth are integral to your health, temporaries don’t last.This is not some frivolous luxury we’re talking about, but a necessity.

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@I am still oxox wrote:

They have all your money and most likely will get 0 back, since it is specific to your mouth, so go ahead, no reason to be with out teeth.

If you were at all unsure you should not of started the process

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@I am still oxox

I was not unsure until my girls started making me feel I was wasting money.  I had to get the old bridge off because the molar was so bad and the pain was constant, and I was afraid of infection, so I really had no choice. 

Yes, I could have had all three teeth under the old bridge pulled, because the other two were just "nubs" having already been shaved down to accommodate the original bridge many years ago.  But I chose to replace the bridge.

I think I would not get much of a refund, you are right that all of the work is already done on the final bridge which represents most of the cost.  He just has to put it in.

I'm thinking I will just have it done and if I die in a year, so what really . . . so I would just have more money sitting in my bank account?

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[Elri]

Agree with Tansy.

You need to finish the job 1) For you and your dental health and ability to chew correctly;  2) For the dentist who serves your needs.

It is necessary.  

[phoenixbrd]

@LilacTree  Taking care of your health is "not a waste of money" at any age.  Lilac, you already have health challenges in your life.  It is critical that you take excellent health care  and to remind yourself that this is one challenge that you have control over.  The quality of your life is dependent on you taking care of yourself.

[BirkiLady]

@LilacTreeNot going to address your girls at all. I'm going to address your comment about the worry of infection. RA and autoimmune diseases are not a problem when having dental work done. Your DDS went to Medical School prior to going to Dental College. He knows what your health issues are and how to handle the situation IF you provide him with your current health records and medications. Don't worry about stuff your Dentist faces on a daily basis!

And please, don't use RA and autoimmune as an excuse. So many of us also have RA, autoimmune diseases and a host of other health issues. I've had it for 70 years. Yes, one of the health issues was diagnosed shortly after birth. Hasn't kept me from doing normal things throughout my life; nor will I wonder how much longer I'll live. Hope you live another 15-20 years and that new dental work serves you very well. It certainly will enhance your smile, enable you to eat well, keep your teeth from shifting, and a healthy mouth helps keep your entire body functioning property. Any medical professional has probably stressed the importance of oral hygiene throughout the years to you . . . there are so many good reasons other than clean, sparkly teeth!

The things you worry about seldom happen. Live your life with joy rather than angst and fear. Have a feast after the dental procedure!  

[elruth]

I definitely would have the work done. Dental health is so important for one's general health. Since it is already paid for, I think this is a no brainer. I am not liking your daughters as I can't imagine anyone's children commenting on how their mother is spending her money!! ( especially since it is being spent on dental health!! ) 

[Trinity11]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

Did your daughters pay for this @LilacTree? Because if they didn't then they should keep their opinions to themselves. Mom is supposed to not be able to chew??? Unless I am misreading this, you go girl and continue with the work. 

I also doubt the the dentist would reimburse you. 

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@Trinity11

No, they did not.  And I'm sure they are just thinking of me, not themselves.  It is not enough money to make any difference in their inheritance.

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I guess I don't get it because your health would be affected by this. Not being able to chew? How is that thinking of you?

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@Trinity11

As I said, Trin, they all have good teeth, so they don't realize the issue of not being able to chew.  And of course, my risk of infection is high and that is always my first thought.  As I said, they mean well. 

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@LilacTree I am sorry but they are all old enough to understand that RA or any chronic disease you need dental care. They are aware of your issues with eating? Ever since you posted about spending the day sick on the bathroom floor alone, I have been worried about you.

So they are annoyed you financed this?

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@Trinity11

Seriously, Trin, I have always been "Mighty Mom" to them.  I raised the four of them alone from when the youngest was three and the oldest was seven.  I worked full time and led a very busy life.  I always took care of myself and them . . . there was never anyone else there funding me.

So that's gone now.  I am 80 and have autoimmune diseases and sure am not "Mighty Mom" anymore.  I think they have trouble accepting that even though I have.

They are not annoyed, but I think they are worried that I will run out of money.  I don't have an acceptable "cushion" anymore and there are a lot of reasons for that.  But I am still self supporting.

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@LilacTree...I thought you posted last year that you had a long term care policy and that your daughters were able to be paid for caring for you instead of in home care? They could always just give you back anything they are getting paid to help you out with your dental care. How can they worry that you will run out of money when you have your daughter living with you? Isn't she helping you with the rent on your apartment? I guess I am not seeing why they would think you would become destitute if you still get Social Security.

I hope this works out for you. It really is terrible that you are being told by your own children not to have dental work....dental work that is mandatory for your health. We all need to be able to chew our food.

[LilacTree]

@Trinity11

A lot of what you said is true.  They are allowed to care for me informally and I pay them for it.  They do give it back to me at times, so it's complicated.  They try, they honestly do.

The daughter I live with has to spend all of her income on doctors, vitamins, and supplements, and weekly IV treatments of vitamin C and other vitamins (insurance doesn't recognize Lyme Disease), so she can't help much with the household expenses. 

She did finally win her case for disability in court the other day, so that is a relief.  However, it takes five months to process that, so she won't see that until nearly the end of the year.  There will be a lump sum retroactive payment from when she filed for it which was five years ago.  The attorney gets a percentage of that, but I don't know what it is.

[Trinity11]

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@LilacTree wrote:

@Trinity11

A lot of what you said is true.  They are allowed to care for me informally and I pay them for it.  They do give it back to me at times, so it's complicated.  They try, they honestly do.

The daughter I live with has to spend all of her income on doctors, vitamins, and supplements, and weekly IV treatments of vitamin C and other vitamins (insurance doesn't recognize Lyme Disease), so she can't help much with the household expenses. 

She did finally win her case for disability in court the other day, so that is a relief.  However, it takes five months to process that, so she won't see that until nearly the end of the year.  There will be a lump sum retroactive payment from when she filed for it which was five years ago.  The attorney gets a percentage of that, but I don't know what it is.

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@LilacTree...I am sure it is complicated. I am so happy to read she is finally able to get disability!! She has suffered so much and my heart goes out to her.

Your girls are so blessed to have you as their mom. I did not mean to be harsh but you deserve to have your dental needs attended to. 

Hope your stomach issues are a little better. I just heard from my cardiologist that I have to stay on Plavix for my lifetime. It tears my stomach up and prevents me from having surgery for my kidney stones. Life can sure be tough at times...

[LilacTree]

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@tansy wrote:

Just for the record, as an 80 yo woman, your expected life span is another 9.1 years.  

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@tansy

Yes, true.  But I've read that moderate to severe RA, which is what I have, plus other autoimmune illnesses, often reduces one's life span by ten years.  So it sort of evens out. 

You may think all I worry about is death, but I do not.  I have many symptoms, but the one I hate the most is the exhaustion, which is constant.  I can handle the pain and the gastrointestinal issues and even the disfigurement that makes it difficult to do anything with my hands.  I just wish I had more strength.

I do admit that I have not handled everything right.  There are things I regret not having done at the very beginning of this thing. 

However, right now I will go to the dentist on the 30th and get this procedure finished, which will alleviate one issue and that is always helpful.

[tansy]

@LilacTree, that’s good news about your daughter winning the disability case.  What a long fight.