Wellness

[sunshine&rainbows]

Dear Adore, My dear kind sweet friend, Your words ring so true! Every muscle in my body is sore! I am resting today I promise I will get out and enjoy life, and I feel every one of my 50 + years, staying at home didn't help! I will get moving and keep on with daily physical activities. I will address you too My dear friend, who lost your father, later when I feel better, please understand we all grieve differently and some want to remember our loved ones when they were healthy and are in denial and they have to know and live with the guilt of not being there when needed. In time you will understand and come to a place of forgiveness I promise. Please don't hold on to memories of them not being there in your and dads time of need. I find if you pray for them it helps you to release resentment. Mahalo Dear Adore you are such a blessing and you too are so loved! Please take care of yourself and I worry about you and giving so much of yourself, if you ever need me I am here. Gods Blessing and strength to you. Love Sunshine

[adoreqvc]

Dear Sunshine,

I am so sorry every muscle is sore, but that is because you are not getting out and moving your body....(Now at least you know you should, and will, and I am so relieved to read that).

Sitting all the time is not good, also if you do have to sit you should get up every 1/2 hour and take a break, and just walk around your place.

"Your eyes also need to relax rather than be glued to the tv, reading for too long on the pc, or in general.

Many people sit all the time not due to any medical problems, but truly just prefer sitting, rather than walking.

Sooner or later many people find themselves not being able to walk anymore, so one must be aware of that and be very careful too.

The body and muscles need exercising to maintain their strength, and for you to also maintain your mobility.

Your reply was lovely to read Sunshine, especially this:

Dear Adore you are such a blessing and you too are so loved! Please take care of yourself and I worry about you and giving so much of yourself, if you ever need me I am here. Gods Blessing and strength to you. Love Sunshine

Sunshine since I was the first person to post to RAVGIRL on this delayed grief thread and interacted like I do with you on every post I read.

If I do not check in at least when I am home and not traveling, I do not know if others will check in from the original group of members on this delayed grief thread, to try and help those who may be new to grieving, or in need of comfort and support.

I really feel terrible if someone in need is left hanging with no reply from anyone, and that is also why I want to help if I can, so when I can I try my best.

I also feel God smiles down on everyone who extends a helping hand to others, especially those who are grieving.

I also wish God's Blessing and strength to you too Sunshine, along with much cyber warmth, and I will always remember your kind concerned reply, with much humbled gratitude.

Now get some rest and take meds if you need to for your sore muscles.

Suggestion:

Buy one of those items from stores like Bed, Bath & Beyond, which offer a long handle with a soft sponge at the end where you can add creams, vicks, ben gay, tiger's balm, aspercream, etc., or whatever you want on it, and then apply the creams to your hard to reach areas.

For many this type of product is truly a lifesaver since people can also do their feet and moisturize everywhere, especially if they cannot or find it very difficult or painful to move around or bend down.

That product is also washable and reusable, so it only needs to air dry after being washed very well and hung up.

Sweet dreams my dear friend, and I will pop in again....

[adoreqvc]

Good Morning Sunshine,  Apple Head & Quality Gal.

Sunshine the sun is shining in all its glory, and God is smiling down upon us, so please try to get a bit of fresh air today, and walk slowly and carefully.  Hope you are feeling better today.

Apple Head mucho luck with the resume re-writing, and the interviewsSmiley Happy.

Quality Gal hoping you have a pleasant day!

Everyone should have a nice day.... in spite of it all......remember that song forget your troubles, come on get happy, etc?......Well go for it!

[Apple Head]

Dear AdoreQVC,

Thanks so much for checking in with me.   I've been so busy trying to do resume rewriting and applying for a few jobs.   I'm on the computer all day and at night I just can't look at the screen anymore.

Your words of comfort and support mean so much.

I went to m grief support group yesterday and again was surrounded by so many kind and loving people.    Everyone is in different stages of grief, but we all connect.   The lady who conducts the group is marvelous.  She's made arrangements to meet with me one-on-one a few times, even though I'm beyond that 1 year timeframe for hospice to provide that service to family.  She is making an exception.   I'm so glad as I need that counseling and knowing someone is coming over once a month, in addition to the group, will be comforting for me.  I am the only one in the group without a support system.   I think that is why they rally around me with so much compassion.

I worry that when I do find a job, I won't be able to attend the group anymore which saddens me.  But, that is what I have to sacrifice.   

I have a phone meeting this a.m. with a rep from my city who works in workforce dev.  We're going to go over my resume and the job application so I can best represent myself.  It's such a tiring and exhaustive task.    I'm just so tired of having to "sell myself," over and over and have no guarantee of any reply.  I worry over every question on the application, and probably some 20 something is reviewing it and not even internalizing all my skills.   It's frustrating.

Joan Rivers had a great line for people who don't really do their job well.  I've encountered so many like that in my situation.   She said, "It's a good thing they aren't lion tamers."

I will check in later today.  Thanks again for caring and being there as a friend and support system.

With Love,

Apple Head

[adoreqvc]

Dear Apple Head,

Many thanks dear friend for your entailed reply, and I care so that is why I am checking on you.

You certainly have a lot on your plate now, but I am confident you will prevail and get the job you really want.

They say good things come to those who wait, and you have certainly waited, so only good things should be in store for you now.

As for the grief support group they are special to have also felt you should be included even past the year entitlement to attend those sessions, especially because you did and still do not have any support from anyone else. They are truly blessed with faith, humility, kindness, understanding and compassion.

If you can continue to attend please do, but if the new job you  will eventually choose interferes with continuing the grief sessions, then perhaps you can see a grief therapist on a one to one basis.

I  hope you will be entitled to health medical insurance, and if yes then do check out social workers in your plan as they may be able to get you into a grief therapy group perhaps on  the weekends if you are free, or evenings after you finish work. Either way it is worth checking this out.

I fully understand your being tired of selling your qualifications time and again, but sweetie hang in there as this is the only option left to secure a position which will put you on the road to financial stability again. Once that is accomplished your fears of remaining unemployed  will no longer be an issue.

I agree with what you referenced about Joan Rivers.

In this world sweetie one must become tough as nails and very thick skinned, as far as not taking things too personally. 

One must also learn to choose their battles and beliefs wisely, and fight for what they truly believe is right.

You will do all these things Apple Head because you can and that was how you were taught and raised. Your strength has never failed you when you needed it the most to help your dear Dad and yourself. "Remember that song you and me against the world.....doesn't that remind you of your Dad and yourself and the special bond you both shared? If you do not know it go on line and listen to it at amazon.com as they probably have the music link so you can hear a sample of it and then they may offer the option to buy the mp3 of that song so you can download it.

My Mom always sang that song and it was also our favorite.

Stay strong and know you can do anything you set your mind to,because  you are strong, and you will succeed!

Well again I wish you good luck dear Apple Head, and when you can please let me know how your day today turned out.

[sunshine&rainbows]

Good almost afternoon here. I was so happy to get a text from my little brother yesterday morning, I shared with two family members as I read the text to them they heard in my voice happy & sad emotions, you see tears trigger the PTSD in one of my family members, we talked and shared and it ended up okay. I was just so happy to hear from my brother, he was in denial and always believed mom was coming back to the house, he has delayed grief and was not there for me when I needed him, I did get angry, I came to understand he keeps his emotions inside and does not share, and now he is all alone in the house we all once shared. I miss him and pray for him, Dear Adore could you please pray for my little brother, he did the best he could at that time. I worry about him, he went back in his shell again! I don't want to lose him. Gods Blessing to you all. Love and hugs Sunshine. Thank you! I believe in the power of prayer. Sunshine

[adoreqvc]

Yes sunshine of course I will pray for your younger brother, and if he has not seen a doctor yet for medications to help him with the denial and grief, he definitely should.

Also advise him to also join a grief support group asap, because denial leads to intense depression, and that could God forbid lead to thoughts of suicide.

Denial is also a call for help.

He needs to share his emotions and feelings to get them out, and he also needs to see he is not alone in his grief and denial, so a grief therapy group would be ideal for him now. (The sooner the better like asap).

In view of all of this sunshine please make sure your and your family all intervien, to ensure he gets help now to deal with all of this, because evidently he cannot deal and accept what occured on his own, and the longer he waits the worse it can become.

As you can tell I am very concerned about this now, and wish you all the best.

You take care too sunshine, stay strong and I also enclose Sisterly cyber love and hugs too.

[Big Sister]

Adore, I just now read your post to me of the 15th or 16th (can't recall which).  Thank you so much for posting to me.

I am doing pretty well.  I have some sad moments, but am having more good moments now.  It's been two years since my little sister died and it will always be difficult for me to accept she is not here with me.  I am adjusting, however.

I want to tell you about a book I recently read on my Kindle, perhaps you've heard of it.  "The Threshing Circle" takes place on the Island of Crete.  Have you read it?

[adoreqvc]

My dear friend Big Sister,

We originals to the delayed grief thread have seem to have lost touch, and only occasionally our paths still cross.

We have weathered so much haven't we Big Sister, but we also have come a long way.

I am glad you and I hooked up again now. Of course you were one of my many favorites and we really had years of very deep meaning cyber communications of numerous kinds which helped both of us, and everyone else too.

I treasure you Big SIster, please always remember that.

I just want to wish you so many Sisterly hugs with my love, concern, and daily prayers for toy to remain safe and find some sort of inner peace.

I also added a few new posts about the 5 steps of grief and the lies.

Please read it  if you have not read it yet, as what they say is exactly what I felt with so many of the grief journeys I took which as you know also entailed losing all my immediate family, relatives in the USA, my deceased husband of a wonderful 45 year marriage to a fatal car accident, and then exactly 2 weeks later to the day I lost my beloved Mother.

As you know there were times I wanted to die to join them all, especially when the last 2 deaths of the 2 people who spent the largest amount of earthly time with me, my 1st husband, and my beloved Mom.

I am fortunate I met my Phillip while grieving when I decided to get away and traveled to Europe. We are so very  happily married, but I must say they were right grief changes and evolves, has its ups and downs, and so do we as human beings, so understandably grief remains in our earthly soul, and we will feel it at unexpected times throughout the remainder of our lives.

I know you must agree Big SIster when you read those few new posts I added.....that certainly explains those unpredictable moments when I hear a song, a special occasion arrives, memorials dates come constantly, holidays arrive, we go to a vacation spot they all loved....just about anything can trigger that grief response again and again......Even a color, a certain fragrance, seeing others enjoy their families on outings....I know you know what I am referring to Big Sister.

I think losing those we love Big Sister, along with the intense grief we still experience really becomes a full lifetime companion, and that evidently is incorporated in our human nature psyche.

I hope God reaches out and continues to comfort us all who lost our loved ones. Also our ability to also offer support, compassion, and comfort to others who also grieve, is a blessing too.

I am comforted knowing and believing in everlasting life and being blessed as to the promise from Jesus Christ which states, if we become born again and accept him as our Savior he promises us we will reunite in Heaven with all our beloved departed loved ones, when God also calls us home.

I know this will be a temporary separation, but revel in the promise that they also watch over everything we do.

In most everything I do I strive to continue to make them proud, since that is still very important to me.

I reflect them and their teachings in almost all that I do, so it is important to be the best I can be, and I am sure you also share this belief too Big Sister.

Of course we have those moments where our human frailties may surface, but I know they are few and far apart.....and I am also aware that no human being is perfect.

Bog Sister I am so thankful for faith because if I had no faith I would have no hope, and also in this life they  say where there is life, there is hope.

I am also happy this also applies to our earthly daily living Big SIster.

Now about the book "The Threshing CIrcle", I will see if  I can borrow it.

Success Amazon lent it to me for free since I have a few Kindles and Prime.

Interesting beginning and up to the part where Captain (Michael) went home to see his wife.

I think this will be a great book to read, and I know Crete quite well, so I would think places I have visited many times since a young child to-date, will me mentioned in this book....that is if the Writer went there, or did his research accurately before publishing this book.

In any event thank you for alerting me to read this.

Many thanks for your sweet reply Big Sister, and please know you will always remain in my heart, and I always include you, and your dearly departed SIster, in my daily prayers, and will continue to do so.

I shall also reply to you when I read your threads or posts, and I hope you will also do the same.

I enclose big fat cyber SIsterly hugs and much cyber love, and wish you all the understanding this universe can provide. 

Inner peace is a blessing no matter when or where we find it, and we must never give up hope.

God Bless, stay safe, and please return here if you wish to communicate again Big SIster, and I will reply when I am at home, and not traveling.

[Apple Head]

Dear AdoreQVC...

Thanks again for the inspiring message.

Still have more work to do on the resume.   I am sure I'm not alone in feeling that I tend to procrastinate when I have something like this to do.   I know that is part of deep grief and I think it's overload for me in having to make so many decisions without ever having rest or just peace time.

I've been going ever since my dear Dad got sick.   I've been thrown into making major decisions that I'm just so exhausted from the stress of it all.  The thought of having to reword my entire resume (and pray it fits on one page) is daunting.   I have to do it, there is no getting around it.  I want the job, so I must work hard for it.   But, underneath all that reality, I'm still just tired of having so many things to accomplish.   It's writing bills day, and that is worrisome as I keep seeing my savings acct depleting.   I do get unemployment, but it's $240 a week.  That doesn't cover much except my costly healthcare.    I used share my rental unit with my Dad and to take on the burden of the full rent now without a job is mindblowing.   I can't rent anything cheaper because they don't accept rental applications if you are unemployed.  

Anyway, don't want to complain all the time.    I just am tired of so many worries.   The yard at my place needs trimming, etc, but it's in the lease that I have to pay 1/2.  Sometimes it can be $300 to clean the yard, and even $150 right now going toward keeping the rich owner's yard nice looking is too much for me to part with.   I can't tell the owner I'm out of work because after my Dad passed, I changed the lease to month-to-month hoping I'd move out soon after.  I couldn't due to breaking my foot last year.  I don't want to give him a reason to let me go without anywhere for me to move to right now.   It seems I'm always being tested.   My Dad gets sick and passed, my siblings come after me, I break my foot and lose my job.   I just want to know and have some sense that my life will turn around.  Right now, I have a hard time believing that.

I apologize for all my complaints. Some people have it much worse.   I just want to know joy again and want to believe I can trust tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and caring.

Apple Head