Wellness

[adoreqvc]

Hello to all my QVC pals, and new QVC friends,

I have returned from my September 2014 long travels abroad, and would like to thank everyone for posting and keeping this thread active in my absence. I am relieved and greatly appreciated all the new activity and support many were given.

If anyone would like to post and needs a shoulder to lean on please do post, and I will reply, and keep checking back, periodically because this is a very important thread and should remain active so it will remain open for all grief journey or lost a loved one activity interactions.

I asked QVC to allow posting interaction again since it was open to read only, but they had disconnected participation for new post activity.

Now it is active again because of my request to QVC and they read all the posts and then email replied to me that it definitely was a very valuable thread and merited becoming active again provided there is some activity, since unfortunately death seems inevitable, and many need all the support they can get from those who have already experienced their own grief journeys.

"We can all share our wisdom and offer support, wherever it is needed".

I post when I am leaving for more trips abroad since my husband and I are retired and actively travel, and then also post when I return home, so others can know and post here as well, if they care to interact.

So if you need grief support, please post and you will receive a reply by a caring person in my absence, or from many of us when we are available to reply......and for those grieving, I pray you receive all the support and blessings possible at the time you need them the most.

[adoreqvc]

Dear karenintx:

My QVC nic is adoreqvc, and I wish to offer these words for what you are going through.

I am so sorry for what you have already experienced, and what you are experiencing now, and for what is yet to become a reality.

I am also very sorry your Mother is beginning to experience from your description perhaps Dementia or Alzheimer's symptoms. You must discuss the best treatment for her with her physician. She should be medically tested and evaluated if she was not already in order to also ensure she is not suffering mini strokes, due to these debilitating brain diseases, if that is indeed what is occurring.Nevertheless I hope her Physician prescribed meds to help her cope with losing your Dad, help her sleep, and help her with depression and daily activity functions.

You will need your strength and religious beliefs to help you endure this sad situation, but if you have other family members perhaps they can also give support to you and your Mother. If not then perhaps your Mother's Physician can inform you what Agencies can further assist you relative to your Mom's needs.

I can offer this insight from all my personal numerous grief journey experiences which is to pend as much time as possible with your Mom and take photographs, and video's if you can, so you can hold those treasures close to your heart always. Memories are wonderful when they replay in our mind's eye since they are stored in our memories, but then so is seeing a video and hearing the voice of those we love. That is extremely comforting.

Be aware as each holiday approaches memories will enter your thoughts and oyu will cry. That is normal and can go on for time.....(There is no time frame where a person who is not grieving as you are may say get over it, because everyone grieves individually, and time does not play a factor at all in the grieving process).

Try not to isolate yourself and stay in touch with those who have shown caring and compassion for what you are experiencing. If you need medications ask your Physician for them and they will be prescribed. Medications for depression, anxiety, and sleeplessness can be safely prescribed.

My Mother had a favorite small Beanie Baby Pink Poodle I gave to her along with roses. She dried out the roses and placed them in her Bible, and I have that Bible and Beanie Baby . The Beanie Baby I placed it in a zip log bag, as it still is infused with her lovely personal scent, especially since she used to nuzzle the Beanie Baby Pink Poodle all the time. I find that to be a very comforting item for me.

I also ensured to create throughout our life time plenty video's we created through the years. At least I can always play them back whenever I desire, and still view my loved ones and hear their voices, knowing those cherished happier day memories were still available. I also treasure all the photographs we took which shall also sustain me, until we are reunited in the next life, according to religious scripture.

Losing a parent is always so very devastating, and watching them losing their ability to live from a debilitating disease is extremely very sad, and heartbreaking for many of us.

For quite a while after I became a widow and 2 weeks later also lost my last immediate family member, which was my beloved Mom, I eventually began to volunteer and interacted with terminally ill patients in Hospice. I extended whatever kindness and humane comfort I could, especially since I knew no one wants to die all alone with no one to enact any contact or caring. (Sadly some children just abandoned their parents and never came to visit or maintain any communication, and this was most painful for many I interacted with).

I also learned that hearing is the last organ to shut down right before the heart ceases to beat.....so even if the patient was dying but could talk I always asked what they would like to do. Many times they could see but could not move and would answer or blink once if I said something they needed...Also even in coma I would whisper to, read a book to, read the Bible to, Sing hymns to, hold a hand, caress a cheek, and just ensure that the hospice patient was comforted and cared for, in the hopes even if in coma they would hear, feel, and know they were not all alone.

Humane compassion is free and does not cost anything. It is the most wonderful gift we can give, and also receive.

Yes I agree religion does help immensely and sees us through, at least it did for me, and for many others as well. Personally I feel strong faith and religion gives us hope during those times we experience the beginning, and continue on through our individual grief journeys.

For me the most difficult heartbreaking times were when the tsunami of tears poured from my eyes like the most continuous destructive enraged force on earth, and each deep felt intense painful sob, actually robbed me of my ability to breath or comprehend. So deep was my intense grief, but I knew I also was being tested, and had to endure in order to want to continue to live. (There were times I was so devastated and depressed that I wanted to sleep forever, but soon I realized it is God's will be done, not mine).

Losing anyone is extremely sad and very heartbreaking, especially when we loved them with all our heart, but in time and with God's help and the support and compassion of others, we do endure and eventually accept what we cannot change, and do find the courage to go on and make them proud of us.

Also having lost my entire family the physicians said the hearing is the last to go even in coma, so I learned when someone is in coma and expiring to speak softly to them and let them feel a human touch as those 2 elements are extremely comforting.

Please karenintx read the last entry as I have addressed that to you today, and of course if anyone else needs a cyber ear to listen, or some support for grief journey interaction, please know I, and others also offer whatever support we can.

I do travel abroad a lot, but in my absence others do check back on that thread to see if there are other members who may need some support and interaction. They then reply to them and continue the communication if possible.

I asked QVC via email request to again enable the Delayed Grief thread to accept new comments, as it became only visible to read, but the commentary period had been closed by QVC.

A QVC supervisor email replied to me and said she read the entire thread, and she recommended to QVC to reopen that thread to allow continued cyber communications, for which I and others are so grateful.

I feel it is very necessary since the information and experiences listed on that thread has helped so many QVC forum members, as well as listing and communicating about all the grief journey steps, we all must individually experience.

I send you my very best and will check back again, and in the meantime I hope you will read the Delayed Grief thread and find wisdom and comfort, in what is posted there....

[Big Sister]

karenintx, I am so glad that adoreqvc was able to "talk" to you and offer her wisdom and compassion.

I am so sorry for your loss and understand how the grief can be devestating and seemingly unending. Please believe me, it will get better and easier as time goes on. The raw edges will be smoothed down. But it does take as much time as it takes. You cannot predict when you will be grieving less, no one can.

Cry whenever you need to and talk about your loved one to your friends. I find that just hearing my sister's name is very important to me. I don't want anyone to forget her.

May God bless you.

[adoreqvc]

On 1/12/2015 bigsister said:

karenintx, I am so glad that adoreqvc was able to "talk" to you and offer her wisdom and compassion.

I am so sorry for your loss and understand how the grief can be devestating and seemingly unending. Please believe me, it will get better and easier as time goes on. The raw edges will be smoothed down. But it does take as much time as it takes. You cannot predict when you will be grieving less, no one can.

Cry whenever you need to and talk about your loved one to your friends. I find that just hearing my sister's name is very important to me. I don't want anyone to forget her.

May God bless you.

Hi bigsister,

Sending hugs and blessings your way, my sweet friend.

I just typed my response yesterday to karenintx, but so far she has not replied on this thread to me, or on her original thread where I also replied to her.

I asked karenintx to go to this Delayed Grief thread to read my detailed response....so far I am still waiting, and will be patient and will keep checking.

I hope you are well sweetie, and that the New Year turns out to be a very healthy, and prosperous year for all of us.

As for happy I know you and I can never be really happy since we have suffered such devastating losses, but I do wear my brave face at times during Holiday remembrances and events, and at times it helps, other times ....no it does not, and that tsunami of tears bursts forth...

[Big Sister]

On 1/12/2015 adoreqvc said:

On 1/12/2015 bigsister said:

karenintx, I am so glad that adoreqvc was able to "talk" to you and offer her wisdom and compassion.

I am so sorry for your loss and understand how the grief can be devestating and seemingly unending. Please believe me, it will get better and easier as time goes on. The raw edges will be smoothed down. But it does take as much time as it takes. You cannot predict when you will be grieving less, no one can.

Cry whenever you need to and talk about your loved one to your friends. I find that just hearing my sister's name is very important to me. I don't want anyone to forget her.

May God bless you.

Hi bigsister,

Sending hugs and blessings your way, my sweet friend.

I just typed my response yesterday to karenintx, but so far she has not replied on this thread to me, or on her original thread where I also replied to her.

I asked karenintx to go to this Delayed Grief thread to read my detailed response....so far I am still waiting, and will be patient and will keep checking.

I hope you are well sweetie, and that the New Year turns out to be a very healthy, and prosperous year for all of us.

As for happy I know you and I can never be really happy since we have suffered such devastating losses, but I do wear my brave face at times during Holiday remembrances and events, and at times it helps, other times ....no it does not, and that tsunami of tears bursts forth...

Hi, Adore, thanks for "talking" to me. I am well and plan to make it a good year. And I understand completely when you say "you and I can never be really happy since....." We feel the void that no one else can feel. Bless you and Philip.

[adoreqvc]

On 1/13/2015 bigsister said:

On 1/12/2015 adoreqvc said:

On 1/12/2015 bigsister said:

karenintx, I am so glad that adoreqvc was able to "talk" to you and offer her wisdom and compassion.

I am so sorry for your loss and understand how the grief can be devestating and seemingly unending. Please believe me, it will get better and easier as time goes on. The raw edges will be smoothed down. But it does take as much time as it takes. You cannot predict when you will be grieving less, no one can.

Cry whenever you need to and talk about your loved one to your friends. I find that just hearing my sister's name is very important to me. I don't want anyone to forget her.

May God bless you.

Hi bigsister,

Sending hugs and blessings your way, my sweet friend.

I just typed my response yesterday to karenintx, but so far she has not replied on this thread to me, or on her original thread where I also replied to her.

I asked karenintx to go to this Delayed Grief thread to read my detailed response....so far I am still waiting, and will be patient and will keep checking.

I hope you are well sweetie, and that the New Year turns out to be a very healthy, and prosperous year for all of us.

As for happy I know you and I can never be really happy since we have suffered such devastating losses, but I do wear my brave face at times during Holiday remembrances and events, and at times it helps, other times ....no it does not, and that tsunami of tears bursts forth...

Hi, Adore, thanks for "talking" to me. I am well and plan to make it a good year. And I understand completely when you say "you and I can never be really happy since....." We feel the void that no one else can feel. Bless you and Philip.

bigsister you are my sweet kind caring QVC cyber buddy, and there is no need to ever thank me for "talking with you", because that is what friends are for.

Blessings again with more cyber buddy hugs included.Hoping you have a great day, and remember they are always watching over us....and that gives me great hope, and so much comfort!

[adoreqvc]

Paging Rac71,

I bumped this thread up as promised and I hope this delayed grief thread helps you.

I can check back periodically if you need any support so please post, and I also believe others will also join in.

[NAES1]

Thank you [ adoreqvc ] for this inspiring thread of support. I do believe that rac71 will come here later, if not already, and join in soon. The thread of wisdom, helping with compassion, is wonderful.

rac71: her mother's funeral will be this sunday. With great appreciation,

_Naes

[adoreqvc]

On 1/29/2015 _Not an easy sale said:

Thank you [ adoreqvc ] for this inspiring thread of support. I do believe that rac71 will come here later, if not already, and join in soon. The thread of wisdom, helping with compassion, is wonderful.

rac71: her mother's funeral will be this sunday. With great appreciation,

_Naes

You're welcome _Not an easy sale but really no need to thank me at all. I lost all my immediate family and husband of over 45 years, so I have traveled so many grief journeys and know the heartache and pain we all face, especially daughters who lost that very unique special Mother Daughter bond due to death and permanent separation.

I hope the Lord watches over all those grieving and special prayers to everyone.

Also I pray this Sunday brings some understanding and acceptance to Rac71 because at least her Mom's suffering on Earth has ended, and if she happens to believe in Life everlasting and reunion in Heaven with our departed loved ones, the religious aspect that involves hope and prayers really offers great comfort.

Regardless what anyone believes in at least they know when we lose those we love they no longer suffer, and that is also a very big comfort to many.

Please know I will keep checking this thread and reply accordingly.

[NAES1]

Thank you so very much adoreqvc. THANK YOU~

I, along with rac71 posting(s) are on the forum `Among Friends`.

I had taken this over to the quiet place so we could talk. Somewhere on the board explains how I had come to meet dear rac71, from another thread- another day; (I believe) just before she knew about her mother's heart attack and the complications that would follow. I (try) to stay, having constant postings between us. I do hope I have not worn my welcome out. Everything happened so quickly then took a turn for the worse. She is a very devoted daughter. I feel as though I know she and her dear mother.

_Naes