Wellness

[sunshine&rainbows]

It's just the two of us now. "He cried for words unspoken in silent. He wonders "what if, deep within his soul. He lives with guilt and sadness no one will ever know. He stays busy, keeps going, mind active. He doe'snt talk about his feelings, because for him it is to sad and painful, wants to remember as things used to be. He is a quite man, shy, will not ask for help. He is a good man. He just misses his mom... The reason I know this, once in awhile he will text " I miss mom"

[adoreqvc]

Good Afternoon Dear Apple Head,

I read your reply and know life can be very unfair, unpredictable and daunting.

About the rewording of the resume you know that will be challenging, but you also know you must work through it and accomplish what needs to be done if you want to take a shot at getting that job, or any other one for that matter.

Yes you have been through a lot, but you need to still hang in there because a paycheck with the new job means financial security, and hopefully you can also be able to save some $ for your future. The company may also  kick in regarding a retirement fund program and pay a % too, as many do, and perhaps match what you also elect to contribute.

Do not think of a problematic dim future think of it as a way to safeguard and participate in your very bright future, and you can do this.

Once this is all done and you are employed the lawn problem will be solved, as will so many other issues weighing you down.

Sometimes life stinks, but we must push past and get on with dealing with those annoying challenges we must address, in order to be able to finally enjoy inner peace.

I realize you are over burdened and very tired both mentally, emotionally, and physically, but when you actually think of all you have accomplished in life you will see this experience has made you the strong individual you really are. (You would have to be strong, just to get through everything with your dear Dad which was very sad, but also a situation where your inner strength did persevere to get it all addressed and resoloved).

You can do this Apple Head so hang in there and begin rewording the resume, and keep telling yourself I can do this, and I am not really all alone......after all adoreqvc is here by my side offering me her cyber friendship and support as I walk through this daunting part of life now, and that should help you accept whatever comes your way, because you will overcome all obstacles with faith, and common sense understanding that when life throws you a curve ball, just pick it up if it falls and use it to your own advantage.

Good luck dear friend, and please keep me abreast, and remember "YOU CAN DO THIS".

[adoreqvc]

Hi Dear Sunshine,

Your brother has feelings of denial and that is very dangerous if not addressed with the Physician, since it seems he also has other issues and needs help with addressing everything, and getting temporary medical prescription medications now to help him get through all of this, since he cannot on his own.

Secondly, he needs intense grief counseling to help deal with his denial that his Mother has gone ahead and has passed away, and will never come home again.  so that too must be addressed.

HE DOES NOT TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS BECAUSE HE IS IN DENIAL THAT HIS MOTHER DIED! 

HE WILL NOT ASK FOR HELP PER YOUR REPLY TO ME, SO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY NOW MUST NOW STEP IN AND HELP HIM.  SADNESS AND DEPRESSION COMBINED WITH INTENSE GRIEVING ARE A DANGEROUS MIX AND NEED PROMPT ATTENTION.

SUNSHINE HE NEEDS MEDICAL HELP AND GRIEF COUNSELING HELP, AND NEEDS BOTH ASAP.

All you and your family can do is help him now, as I outlined in my previous reply to you.

I hope this reply puts it all into the proper perspective, and you also do your part.

Sunshine your brother needs intervention now, and you know that in your heart.

Please keep me undated dear friend as this is a very sad and serious situation,  and my daily prayers for all of you shall continue.

[sunshine&rainbows]

Mahalo, for continued prayers. Helping someone when they don't want help? All good intentions, needs intervention, needs prompt medical attention, grief counseling, its all in proper perspective, I will continue to do my part, living across the ocean does not make it easy, I know what to do in my heart. I have reached out to friends and neighbours since its a small town about 1,500 population. I will have to leave my husband to take care of my brother, that is the only thing I could do? You cannot help someone unless they are willing, so I don't even know if I would be welcomed? I will keep you updated and continue to pray about this, I really don't want to leave my husband right now, he too is grieving for the loss of his little brother, my mom, his mom all lost within month apart last year, May, June, July...

[sunshine&rainbows]

Aloha, My brother has no family in the small town, he knows he has a place with me and is always welcomed. He knows I am always here for him and I love him dearly. My brother has business that need tending to, on his part. He cant just pick up and leave, all though I have expressed to him that he can, if he wants and my home is his home. We just lost our uncle too this April who was a 5 year stroke survivor who also lived at our home there, he was paralyzed on his right side and loss his speech, bed ridden , we had two nurses that came through out the week to help, besides our mother who always promised to take care of her little brother and she did. May God Comfort you and lead you in all his ways.

[sunshine&rainbows]

I just want to thank each and everyone who has shared their story on this thread. It is a safe place to come and a place to let out our feelings, I know for me each word I have read has helped me better understand what grief and grieving and denial means, we all have our story, very gripping heart wrenching sadness's, I hear your words and my heartfelt condolences and compassion to you all and please stay strong and take care of yourself so you can take care of others. My deepest sympathy to you all. May God Comfort you. Mahalo

[adoreqvc]

 Dear Sunshine,

Perhaps he knows he needs help but who knows if he is willing to get help.

Like they say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make the horse drink.....

Everyone does whatever they can to help their family members, and you have offered your home for him to come and live with you, which is a wonderful option, but perhaps he really rather be on his own for now.... even with all his problems.

Sunshine you can only offer what you have and hope perhaps in time he will no longer be in denial and realize he needs you just as much as you need him.

Prayers will continue daily, and I also hope for a good safe outcome for your dear Brother.

Blessings to all of you, and  please take good care.

[sunshine&rainbows]

Dear Adore, My brother is helping himself and it looks as things are moving forward, I say that with hesitation because he has always been this way.

I remember when I lived there and I would go to my church and write on the prayer card to help my brother feel better and he did get better and even started golfing with one of my coworkers at the health center, it is so hot there over 100 degrees so to hot to golf this time of year, but when it gets cooler they will get together.

We are swapping our moms recipes also. He is a wonderful cook, and after our mom had a hard time standing to long he cooked dinner every night for mom and uncle.

The saying you can lead a horse to water... takes me back, mom and uncle used to say that! : ) Mahalo for prayers, you are also in my thoughts and prayers Blessings to you and yours. Sunshine.

P.S. I might finally get my carpal tunnel surgery, just need one more test, I hurt everyday and cannot do little things that we all take for granted. I just hope I will have the time.  

[adoreqvc]

My Dear Sunshine,

I am so happy to read your reply, and so very delighted and glad your brother is moving forward.

"That certainly is wonderful news and as long as he really continues to move forward this time".

I would image he has come to realize some of his problems he really can help solve by his own intuition, and desire to help himself.!!!"

Swapping recipes with your dear brother is fun for you both. and is a treasured keepsake too in order to preserve them and they stay in the family.

Your brother must have loved cooking with your sweet Mom and you, and also was happy to take over when Mom could no longer stand to cook.

That unfortunately happens to many with stenosis of the spine, and circulation problems with the legs, as well as excessive water retention called edema of the legs and feet.

(Many meds also make it impossible to remain upright and require sitting down or lying down, as some medications make people very unsteady on their feet and they also experience feeling quite dizzy.).

 I will continue to say prayers for him and for you Sunshine, and especially praying that you will get your carpal tunnel surgery, as I know that is a very painful condition which truly limits mobility.

Many thanks for your thoughts and prayers as well as your blessings for me and my husband. "They are always so greatly appreciated dear friend!".

Please sunshine keep me updated whenever you are up to it, and you all will remain in my prayers and blessings too.

May God also bless all of you, and watch over all you do as well.    

Take good care dear friend and reply only when you feel you can.....not because you have to.

[adoreqvc]

Hi to all my Pals,

I hope each of you have a nice 4th of July holiday today, and I also hope no new replies means each of you are coping much better. 

We are having a BBQ and some company to also enjoy in the July 4th festivities. I hope each of you are also enjoying something special today.

We are planning our itinerary for traveling for a prolonged period of time but while I am still at home, I will check back should anyone post again.

Take good care my friends, sending prayers, blessings, and again Happy 4th.