Dealing with the Grief of Miscarriage...... - Page 3

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

So sorry for your loss, but miscarriage is very very common ..... I'm not sure I know any woman who hasn't had at least one.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

I was in my twenties when I had four babies in four and a half years. No miscarriages or problems, all healthy babies. I felt horrible though, gained so much water weight I looked like a puff ball. But of course the babies were worth it.

One of my daughters was not so lucky, I mentioned her earlier in this thread. She had six miscarriages, and in between two healthy baby girls, now teenagers. The miscarriages devastated her and she still considers that she lost four babies, "her lost children," she calls them.

However, she's a mom, and she loves it. Hang in there, I know you will be a mom too.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

redhead65 · ‎05-16-2015

My first married child lost to miscarriage my first two grandsons. I now have one beautiful boy, and count myself extremely blessed to have this little fella. Hopefully, more will come if it is God's will.

My heart goes out to all who have gone through this.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Awww Vixen, I just want to give you a warm hug. I said a prayer before responding that you overcome the sadness and hope that someday soon you will be carrying another baby.

I went through this over 30 years ago and remember how devastating it was. It's normal what you're feeling.

The PA was wrong to say what they did. Things were handled horribly by the hospital staff during my ordeal back then even.

Though, I do remember the sadness in my doctor's eyes to this day, he was a dear man who delivered me and also one of my sisters and all of my children.

I will say another prayer for you and your family.

sfnative · ‎03-10-2010

nycvixen,

I'm incredibly sorry to hear of the loss of your baby the the grief you're working through. My eyes are tearing up badly now, as we found out 3 hours ago that our daughter miscarried today. I read of the pain you've been experiencing and only hope that she can realize a better space in the next few months, as she miscarried 3 years ago, then had a little girl and has now miscarried again. She is very fortunate to have her little girl now and she said this evening that that is the only thing keeping her together.

I pray that you will know peace of mind and body and spirit and that you will be blessed with the birth of a child. Keep talking and keep reaching out. There are so many of us out here who have experienced one or more miscarriages and want to be here for you.

God Bless ~ Rebecca

violann · ‎03-10-2010

The statistic, at its highest, is about 15-25% of all identified pregnancies.
Whether miscarriage is statistically common or not, the fact that they are "common" is not very comforting to me, and was not when I was having them.

VioletEyes · ‎03-12-2010

@NycVixen wrote:
I think I'm ready to talk about suffering a miscarriage this past February. It was my first pregnancy.

It has been very hard dealing with the grief and sadness. However, I'm feeling more like myself these days. But it was very difficult the first couple of months.

After going through this terrible ordeal, I noticed that many women simply do not talk about it. As a result, miscarriage seems to be like a taboo subject and women like myself that go though it feel so alone and isolated. Only going thorugh this did I learn how common it is; 20-25 % of all pregnancies end up in a miscarriage.

I promised myself that when I was ready I would talk about it in order to shed light and offer words of encouragement and empowerment to not only the women that have dealt with this but to the couples as well.

This has also deeply affected my husband. We feel almost ready to try again soon .

To anyone going through this or a loved one, it does get better. Time does heal. I spoke to my pastor that he recommended picking a name if you know the sex or a unisex name if you don't and saying a prayer. Picking a name allows you to honor and respect the memory of the child. It has really helped us.

_________________

I am so sorry you suffered a miscarriage. I understand the pain because I lost a beautiful baby girl myself. I like what your pastor said about naming the baby....to this day 32 years later, I still say a little prayer to her everyday. My Beth Anne named after my grandmother is someone I will always have in my heart. I think of her as my guardian angel.

My husband and I waited a few years almost two before we tried again. We were blessed with a wonderful son who is the light of our life. I wish you my best and give yourself time to grieve.

Thankfully, we can talk about these things today. Back when I lost my precious daughter, no one ever talked about it.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

I recall many years ago, in our high school girl's health class, the school nurse talking about periods, reproductive problems ... and miscarriages.

She was very straightforward that women should not assume that just because they conceive that the fetus will be healthy and will grow to term. She said we need to trust Mother Nature, and be patient when pregnancies end abruptly.

At the time I thought it was rather odd, but she was right ..... women seem to not even consider this can happen to them and it's no one's fault .... something was obviously very wrong with the pregnancy.

Too bad more mothers don't prepare their daughters for that possibility, because it's pretty common.

kitty60 · ‎03-13-2010

Wow, I don't know about "getting over it" but I will never forget the children I lost. To this day, 25 years later when I open the box with a gift given to me when I announced I was pregnant the tears will immediately be there. What I do try to do, when my friends children have suffered a miscarriage or someone I have come to know does I always acknowledge the loss with a personal note to that person. Statistics do not change your loss. For us those were our children from the time we knew they were conceived.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

@NycVixen wrote:
I think I'm ready to talk about suffering a miscarriage this past February. It was my first pregnancy.

It has been very hard dealing with the grief and sadness. However, I'm feeling more like myself these days. But it was very difficult the first couple of months.

After going through this terrible ordeal, I noticed that many women simply do not talk about it. As a result, miscarriage seems to be like a taboo subject and women like myself that go though it feel so alone and isolated. Only going thorugh this did I learn how common it is; 20-25 % of all pregnancies end up in a miscarriage.

I promised myself that when I was ready I would talk about it in order to shed light and offer words of encouragement and empowerment to not only the women that have dealt with this but to the couples as well.

This has also deeply affected my husband. We feel almost ready to try again soon .

To anyone going through this or a loved one, it does get better. Time does heal. I spoke to my pastor that he recommended picking a name if you know the sex or a unisex name if you don't and saying a prayer. Picking a name allows you to honor and respect the memory of the child. It has really helped us.