Re: Changing your life /after 50

goodstuff · ‎03-09-2010

On 10/1/2014 Danky said: No matter how thin the pancake there are always two sides.......if you place any value on the time and experiences you have shared with him, you might want to flip the pancake and try to examine his side....he has a story to tell, also.

Excellent insight.

ANewHue · ‎11-21-2011

I am not saying I' m perfect BUT I have never created ANY problems in our marriage. I am in the middle of a mess he created because he didn't listen over a year ago. He says "thank you" to me 50 times a day now but he is not the one dealing with the issue. I had enough work on my plate that I couldn't handle and now I have three times as much. I had two very serious situations I needed to deal with this week now they have to be pushed back because this situation needs immediate attention. Getting 4-5 hours sleep a night is not helping. He is not the sole breadwinner, I have my own money and having or not having money is the least of my problems, I have a small support system, they know me and love me and know there is nothing I can do but handle this mess. They think he's a great guy but they realize his judgement was way off this time.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

OP, since you keep talking in riddles it is impossible for anyone to actually give any adv7ce to you except to go see a professional therapist where you can actually discuss your situation openly.

Rock_chick · ‎03-10-2010

On 10/1/2014 beaches21 said: I am not saying I' m perfect BUT I have never created ANY problems in our marriage. I am in the middle of a mess he created because he didn't listen over a year ago. He says "thank you" to me 50 times a day now but he is not the one dealing with the issue. I had enough work on my plate that I couldn't handle and now I have three times as much. I had two very serious situations I needed to deal with this week now they have to be pushed back because this situation needs immediate attention. Getting 4-5 hours sleep a night is not helping. He is not the sole breadwinner, I have my own money and having or not having money is the least of my problems, I have a small support system, they know me and love me and know there is nothing I can do but handle this mess. They think he's a great guy but they realize his judgement was way off this time.

Just saying that you never created any problems in your marriage is a big red flag to me. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this man, but it takes 2 to tango. It sounds like there are a lot of things you are doing that you don't need to be.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

You don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, so please consider the excellent advice on this thread. It will help you make the best decision you can.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

On 10/1/2014 Rock_chick said:
On 10/1/2014 beaches21 said: I am not saying I' m perfect BUT I have never created ANY problems in our marriage. I am in the middle of a mess he created because he didn't listen over a year ago. He says "thank you" to me 50 times a day now but he is not the one dealing with the issue. I had enough work on my plate that I couldn't handle and now I have three times as much. I had two very serious situations I needed to deal with this week now they have to be pushed back because this situation needs immediate attention. Getting 4-5 hours sleep a night is not helping. He is not the sole breadwinner, I have my own money and having or not having money is the least of my problems, I have a small support system, they know me and love me and know there is nothing I can do but handle this mess. They think he's a great guy but they realize his judgement was way off this time.

Just saying that you never created any problems in your marriage is a big red flag to me. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this man, but it takes 2 to tango. It sounds like there are a lot of things you are doing that you don't need to be.

I agree - no one is as faultless as the way this OP sees herself. I would love to hear the DH's side of this story.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

On 10/1/2014 beaches21 said: I am not saying I' m perfect BUT I have never created ANY problems in our marriage. I am in the middle of a mess he created because he didn't listen over a year ago. He says "thank you" to me 50 times a day now but he is not the one dealing with the issue. I had enough work on my plate that I couldn't handle and now I have three times as much. I had two very serious situations I needed to deal with this week now they have to be pushed back because this situation needs immediate attention. Getting 4-5 hours sleep a night is not helping. He is not the sole breadwinner, I have my own money and having or not having money is the least of my problems, I have a small support system, they know me and love me and know there is nothing I can do but handle this mess. They think he's a great guy but they realize his judgement was way off this time.

NO ONE on earth is blameless when there are problems in a marriage.

You really should consider talking to someone objective.

The anger and stress and frustration in your posts are jumping off the page.

That's no way for you to live...and no one wants to live with someone like that either!

You say that HE is negative...please re-read your own posts....lots of negativity and disappointment on display.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

I just read this OP on another thread saying she spent $400 during a promotion last year on WEN - so i am thinking her husband is not the only one who is spending money and causing stress.

tough_kitty · ‎04-22-2014

On 10/1/2014 happy housewife said:
On 10/1/2014 Rock_chick said:
On 10/1/2014 beaches21 said: I am not saying I' m perfect BUT I have never created ANY problems in our marriage. I am in the middle of a mess he created because he didn't listen over a year ago. He says "thank you" to me 50 times a day now but he is not the one dealing with the issue. I had enough work on my plate that I couldn't handle and now I have three times as much. I had two very serious situations I needed to deal with this week now they have to be pushed back because this situation needs immediate attention. Getting 4-5 hours sleep a night is not helping. He is not the sole breadwinner, I have my own money and having or not having money is the least of my problems, I have a small support system, they know me and love me and know there is nothing I can do but handle this mess. They think he's a great guy but they realize his judgement was way off this time.

Just saying that you never created any problems in your marriage is a big red flag to me. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this man, but it takes 2 to tango. It sounds like there are a lot of things you are doing that you don't need to be.

I agree - no one is as faultless as the way this OP sees herself. I would love to hear the DH's side of this story.

Wow...."never any problems"??? Really??? Perhaps self-evaluation is in order.....

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I think it would be wise to get counseling. Like someone else said...if he won't go...go by yourself. Have you ever considered trying a separation first? A separation can be a real eye opener to a man, especially if someone has been threatening a divorce for years. He might take you more seriously.