Wellness

[maestra]

Nurse Jackie, I want you on my side! Youare a great advocate and are to be admired for your care of your MIL. I realize it's not easy but you'll be blessed for your efforts.

[HerRoyaLioness]

Nurse Jackie, I'm with maestra - if I'm in the hospital I want YOU there!  And it may very well be in the psychiatric ward, lol!!!

[GCR18]

Nurse Jackie, I need you to get after my sister.  I have no earthly idea what to do.  Tuesday she was in the grocery store and felt dizzy.  I don't know if she fell or sat on the floor.  My mother saw her wagon, but not her.  She went over and she was under a table of produce.  She wasn't able to get up.  My mother had to get her up.  I told her she should have pretended she didn't see her asked someone to call 911.  Today she went out, but was too weak to get out of the car.  Again, I told my mother she should have headed to the ER.  My mother wants me to take off work and come and take care of things.  My sister won't come to the phone when I call. 🙍🙍🙍🙍

[maestra]

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@GCR18 wrote:

Nurse Jackie, I need you to get after my sister.  I have no earthly idea what to do.  Tuesday she was in the grocery store and felt dizzy.  I don't know if she fell or sat on the floor.  My mother saw her wagon, but not her.  She went over and she was under a table of produce.  She wasn't able to get up.  My mother had to get her up.  I told her she should have pretended she didn't see her asked someone to call 911.  Today she went out, but was too weak to get out of the car.  Again, I told my mother she should have headed to the ER.  My mother wants me to take off work and come and take care of things.  My sister won't come to the phone when I call. 🙍🙍🙍🙍

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Is your mother enabling your sister? Just asking, no judgement.

[GCR18]

Maestra, I'm not sure if she's enabling her?  Like how?  In general, my mother is an enabler.  She says she tells her to go to the Dr and she says no.  She is very overwhelmed by the situation.  My mother doesn't talk much about it since she found out my sister was listening to her phone calls.  Today she took her cell phone and sat in her car and called me.

This morning my mother called.  I could hear my sister in the background.  My mother asked if she wanted to talk to me, she said no.  After my mother called and told me about the last couple days, I called her.  She lives with her cell phone.  She didn't answer.  I went this afternoon and there was a missed call from her, no message.  I told my mother to tell her I was looking for a flight for Saturday.  My mother did and she was angry.  I'll call first thing tomorrow.  When I talk with my boss tomorrow, I'll ask about getting some time off next week.  This can't keep going on.  

[HerRoyaLioness]

GCR - sorry this is still going on with your sister.

Being an "enabler" would be like for your Mom continuing to let her live at her house for free, or paying for her cell phone, things on that order, that enables her to stay in her current situation in which she has no responsibility or motivation to try and get her life together.

If I remember correctly, your Mom is elderly, like in her early 80's.  She does not need this stress in her life. 

Your sister needs help and is acting childish at this point and needs boundaries and ultimatums set - that's why she won't talk with you.  She knows what you are going to say.

I don't know how much good it would do for you to go out there again.  I would hope that your Mom can do what she needs to, maybe with some help from a Depression/Women's help center.  If your sister won't call, your Mom can.  Let them listen and give suggestions on how to handle it.  They deal with these things on a daily basis.  Otherwise, your sister is going to continue acting like this and her physical and emotional life is suffering because she won't get help.  Plus she is affecting her families lives and not in a good way.

Hopefully you will get to talk with your sister and hopefully it will get her to get some help for herself, none of you can do it for her or you would.  Don't forget to let her know you love her and how hard it is to see her like this and that's why you want her to get help - you want your "old" sister back and you want her to be happy.

Feeling for you,

Lioness

[JackieHN]

Mother in law is resting comfortably in the nursing home. Happy as a clam. Had lots of attention from her children and today she's having company from her niece. My job is done.

GC you don't want to know what nurse Ratchet would do with your sister. She would have been firmly escorted to the back of my car and her tush would be in the ER. I don't take ****** with stupidity. For all she knows it all could be something minor but staying like this is more stressful for her than getting it checked out. She's not even considering the stress she's putting on your mother because of her fear. My girlfriend is in it deep because she refused to go to the Dr for bronchitis. Now she has pneumonia and can't breathe. This is not going away. 

[GCR18]

Lannie, then yes she is definitely an enabler.  She's 82 and doesn't get around well.

Jackie, I've got no one to throw her in the car.  Her son could, but he's a kid, 17.  He's taller than her.

She called me first thing this morning and said don't come.  She said she would schedule a Drs appt.  Long story short, I scheduled a Drs appt for Thursday.  I couldn't find anything sooner.  They really didn't wAnt to see her.  They said she should go to the ER.  Since that's not happening, I got the Thursday appt.  The receptionist said I could call the police and ask for a wellness check.  They would go to the house and talk with her.  If they didn't like what they saw, they'd call an ambulance.

I think she will go, but it seems so far in the future.

[JackieHN]

GC does she have any friends that can intervene?? You know if I lived near her I would hauling her tush to the ER. 

[HerRoyaLioness]

GC - Does she have any health insurance - do you think that is a concern for her not going?  There is help available that way, the clinics usually know about the programs if you let them know the circumstances.

Are you keeping warm??  The homeless furbabies were out today.  If I let them in, there would be fur a flying everywhere!  Add a little blood for intensity!  Cats are so not accepting of other cats - one of the only bad things about them - they don't tend to play nice with others.

Big game tomorrow, GC, get your cheerleading outfit ready!  I've got green and gold pom poms!  Frozen Tundra - bring it on.