Wellness

[jubilant]

I like to look nice but am not obsessed with it. I think the older I get and the more comfortable I am in my own skin.... the less I worry about it. Nothing wrong with any of these things it's just that other things are more important to me now. The more I see how fast time goes by, the more I want to spend it on things that last. It's not that I still don't like "pretty" because I do. It just doesn't rank as high on the list as it once did. I think it is a natural part of aging. "Beauty is only skin deep"....my mom used to say that to my sister and I. You know, she was right now and then...more than I care to admit.

[151949]

On 3/30/2014 Love Roses said:

On 3/30/2014 happy housewife said: I don't understand the excessive amount of attention some women give to looks.I find that as we and our friends are getting older we care less and less how each other look and more about what we share as friends. I am happy to say that i am 65 years old - had to fight off cancer twice to get to here - and i am sure I look 65 years old - no younger or older. I have chosen to do as much as I can to stay as physically and mentally well as possible but to age gracefully and ENJOY this wonderful time in my life when I do not have the stress or responsibilities of working, raising children. I wanted to edit to add that in my workplace we were valued for our work ethic and our skill and knowledge - not because we were pretty. I don't know any workplace other than entertaining where pretty is all that important.

Thanks for your post. I remember the work ethic, along with skill and knowledge and other qualities that were important. Seems image has taken the lead regardless of the necessary skills and talents. I have worked the entertainment industry and it appears that their false glamour, shallow images and insecurities, have taken a stronghold throughout the work industry and the nation. There are a considerable workplaces where first you are looked at for physical appearances, then the qualifications come into play. At my husbands workplace he gets resumes with the noode photos of both males and females attached. It's done (in their words) to let the employer know they are willing to do anything for the position and the company. They are the glamour photos like those sent to casting agents for intros or parts....no longer done as much today as software is sent instead.

I give you kudos for surviving your cancer bouts - I survived mine - 17 years now. Even then, I had to doll myself up to be presentable to the world because folks don't want to see someone that appears sickly and unattractive. All my efforts to appear good looking would not have stopped the cancer if fate had another plan for me. I don't believe I would want validation from the masses of self serving, shallow, selfish, and untalented people. I just want to do my part and not be self absorbed.

I have to really disagree with you - physical beauty is not what any quality employer is looking for when hiring employees - except I guess maybe your DH since you say people are sending him n*de photos in their resumes. Employers are seeking responsible , skilled workers who can do a good job and are willing to work hard. CEOs want to look at a + bottom line not go through the cubicles looking for a pretty face (and if they are doing that there are laws against it).

[ilovedaisies]

Why do we do anything? Truthfully, mostly for ourselves. God gave us our bodiles and we can take care of them properly or not. I don't think that necessarily means we must constantly chase the latest makeup trend or inject our faces until they are frozen, but I think wearing clothes that fit us correctly, being clean and well groomed with a haircut that is flattering is all just part of taking care of our bodies. Like one of the previous posters said, my aim isn't so much living a long time but having a good quality of life while I'm here. I think you're depressed. I have to fight with myself over the same issues you spoke about. My parents, sister and in laws are all gone. I think grief about losing so much of our families wears on us and it's a struggle not to say, to heck with all this, it's all going to come to the same end. I think you should tell your doctor that you've been having these feelings. My doctor put me on Celexa and Abilify and in a few weeks I felt so much better. I stopped crying and got out of the dumps. Now I can think about sad times, but I can say, okay, I've thought about this enough and I move on to more positive thoughts. Please think about talking to your doctor.

[Puzzle Piece]

On 3/30/2014 happy housewife said:

On 3/30/2014 Love Roses said:

On 3/30/2014 happy housewife said: I don't understand the excessive amount of attention some women give to looks.I find that as we and our friends are getting older we care less and less how each other look and more about what we share as friends. I am happy to say that i am 65 years old - had to fight off cancer twice to get to here - and i am sure I look 65 years old - no younger or older. I have chosen to do as much as I can to stay as physically and mentally well as possible but to age gracefully and ENJOY this wonderful time in my life when I do not have the stress or responsibilities of working, raising children. I wanted to edit to add that in my workplace we were valued for our work ethic and our skill and knowledge - not because we were pretty. I don't know any workplace other than entertaining where pretty is all that important.

Thanks for your post. I remember the work ethic, along with skill and knowledge and other qualities that were important. Seems image has taken the lead regardless of the necessary skills and talents. I have worked the entertainment industry and it appears that their false glamour, shallow images and insecurities, have taken a stronghold throughout the work industry and the nation. There are a considerable workplaces where first you are looked at for physical appearances, then the qualifications come into play. At my husbands workplace he gets resumes with the noode photos of both males and females attached. It's done (in their words) to let the employer know they are willing to do anything for the position and the company. They are the glamour photos like those sent to casting agents for intros or parts....no longer done as much today as software is sent instead.

I give you kudos for surviving your cancer bouts - I survived mine - 17 years now. Even then, I had to doll myself up to be presentable to the world because folks don't want to see someone that appears sickly and unattractive. All my efforts to appear good looking would not have stopped the cancer if fate had another plan for me. I don't believe I would want validation from the masses of self serving, shallow, selfish, and untalented people. I just want to do my part and not be self absorbed.

I have to really disagree with you - physical beauty is not what any quality employer is looking for when hiring employees - except I guess maybe your DH since you say people are sending him n*de photos in their resumes. Employers are seeking responsible , skilled workers who can do a good job and are willing to work hard. CEOs want to look at a + bottom line not go through the cubicles looking for a pretty face (and if they are doing that there are laws against it).

My husband does not hire those who send the pics as he needs to rely on those who have the skills, talent, and experience. I was just sharing what goes on. There are very strong gender harassment laws that have teeth. I have heard too many times how folks get turned down for not having the 'right look' and other 'criteria'.

I just wonder, when and where does it all end. I realized that self dignity and taking a certain pride in your grooming and appearance is necessary, but not all the other meaningless, hedonistic, shallow, 'requirements'. It gets tiring.

[Puzzle Piece]

On 3/30/2014 ilovedaisies said: Why do we do anything? Truthfully, mostly for ourselves. God gave us our bodiles and we can take care of them properly or not. I don't think that necessarily means we must constantly chase the latest makeup trend or inject our faces until they are frozen, but I think wearing clothes that fit us correctly, being clean and well groomed with a haircut that is flattering is all just part of taking care of our bodies. Like one of the previous posters said, my aim isn't so much living a long time but having a good quality of life while I'm here. I think you're depressed. I have to fight with myself over the same issues you spoke about. My parents, sister and in laws are all gone. I think grief about losing so much of our families wears on us and it's a struggle not to say, to heck with all this, it's all going to come to the same end. I think you should tell your doctor that you've been having these feelings. My doctor put me on Celexa and Abilify and in a few weeks I felt so much better. I stopped crying and got out of the dumps. Now I can think about sad times, but I can say, okay, I've thought about this enough and I move on to more positive thoughts. Please think about talking to your doctor.

Thanks for your post. However, I am not depressed. I feel pressured by these times and how things have become. I've lived to middle age and I feel I've earned my stripes. Yet, it's push, push to chase after the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow with all the things going on to prod you to do this to yourself and that. None of it will stop what is naturally supposed to happen. For me it is a reminder of the Brevity of Life and how I daily give thanks for being alive, because really, it's all about living and not about fearing.

[Puzzle Piece]

TezNu - Thanks for your post.

ILoveDaisies - Thanks for your post as well.

Yes, it is the QUALITY of life that will draw the most satisfaction and feeling COMFORTABLE in my skin. I have to learn be okay with feeling comfortable in my skin - all the insecurity sells that the cosmetic companies, cosmetic medical communities, and the television shows sell have left me and some I know feeling less than human and a criminal if we age.

[MariotaMurielle]

On 3/30/2014 Love Roses said:

TezNu - Thanks for your post.

ILoveDaisies - Thanks for your post as well.

Yes, it is the QUALITY of life that will draw the most satisfaction and feeling COMFORTABLE in my skin. I have to learn be okay with feeling comfortable in my skin - all the insecurity sells that the cosmetic companies, cosmetic medical communities, and the television shows sell have left me and some I know feeling less than human and a criminal if we age.

Love Roses, we are bombarded daily with messages that imply that aging is a bad thing. that we should do anything and everything we can to fight aging. even the products they sell us are called anti-aging skincare and cosmetics. I guess when you think about it, it really is a world where youth seems to be more valued than age. I understand what you are saying. I try to take good care of myself and Lord knows I spend my share of the fortune spent every year in this country on skincare and cosmetics that are advertised as anti-aging. I am retiring after tomorrow. my replacement is at least 25 years younger than me. I am so happy that I have finally reached the stage in my life where I will feel free of the responsibilities that I've had for the last 41 years and free of the need to look a certain way every day.

[Puzzle Piece]

On 3/30/2014 Mochahoney said:

On 3/30/2014 Love Roses said:

TezNu - Thanks for your post.

ILoveDaisies - Thanks for your post as well.

Yes, it is the QUALITY of life that will draw the most satisfaction and feeling COMFORTABLE in my skin. I have to learn be okay with feeling comfortable in my skin - all the insecurity sells that the cosmetic companies, cosmetic medical communities, and the television shows sell have left me and some I know feeling less than human and a criminal if we age.

Love Roses, we are bombarded daily with messages that imply that aging is a bad thing. that we should do anything and everything we can to fight aging. even the products they sell us are called anti-aging skincare and cosmetics. I guess when you think about it, it really is a world where youth seems to be more valued than age. I understand what you are saying. I try to take good care of myself and Lord knows I spend my share of the fortune spent every year in this country on skincare and cosmetics that are advertised as anti-aging. I am retiring after tomorrow. my replacement is at least 25 years younger than me. I am so happy that I have finally reached the stage in my life where I will feel free of the responsibilities that I've had for the last 41 years and free of the need to look a certain way every day.

Thank you for your words and I truly wish you the best of retirement from a job you've been at for 41 years. Your future is now your own to enjoy as you see fit! Take care.

[lovesrecess]

3

[Puzzle Piece]

On 3/30/2014 upsidedown said:

I think if I take care in how I look (hair, makeup, etc) , I feel much better about the day. It is no more profound than that. I feel such freedom now that I retired....I don't have to look "professional" now each morning... I have also found that if I see a wrinkle on my face, I don't fret about it...I do put my usual skincare on, but there is no expectation I will look 25 again...I am proud of my age and the experience I have in life that has brought me here. Totally okay with who I am.

Good for you Upsidedown! I don't want to feel guilty for not fretting.

You gals all have courage to post what you've shared. I congratulate all of you!