Wellness

[AngelPuppy1]

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@tarsmomwrote:

 I am 62 and sensitive.  I have a love/hate relationship with it.  I feel for people, I cry at commercials, but there are times I don't feel like that at all.  At work, if I compare myself to others (work-related) I cry because I can't go as fast as the others (computer work).  I can't retire for 2.5 years yet.  You know, I don't know whether I need counseling, medication or just say "I am what I am and God made me to be a sensitive person".  Do any of you struggle with your sensitivity?  Looking back on my life, I cried in high school, most of my jobs and I guess it really boils down to comparing myself to others.  In today's work world, you're not there because they 'like' you, you're there to perform a service.  Numbers are everything.  Relationships (which I excel at) are not a tangible measurement of value.  I was a manager for 20 years and did well at it but took a lesser paying job a year ago.  I love young people and don't think of myself as 'old' but it is darn hard to work with 20-30 somethings (even though I do enjoy them).  I'm not a grandma, I'm not 22, I don't know where I fit - do any of you feel like this?

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@tarsmom

Yes, I am.  Sometimes I wish I weren't as much as I am. But I've always been this way and I know it's part of my essential being.  I do get hurt by people's nasty and rude comments, although I have gotten better in dealing with them as I have gotten older.  Mostly, I am glad that I am a sensitive person and that I am very sympathetic and empathetic toward others.  I feel things deeply and I don't feel I should have to apology to anyone for this.  The way I look at it, it's much better to be this way than to be cold, hard, unfeeling and not have much concern for others.  Yes, I take to heart a lot of things which other people might not waste a second on.  Things at work get me upset or angry at times, of course.  I rarely let these matters get me to the point where I cry about them though.  I tend to cry about more personal things --- things which affect me, my family and friends.  And yes, I have as my husband calls it "a soft heart", so I do cry at touching commercials, t.v. shows and movies.  I make no excuses for this, nor do I feel I have to!  

I think there is a big different between being sensitive and being depressed.  If you feel down in the dumps a lot and unable to cope with every day things, then I think, yes, perhaps some counseling would be helpful for you.  But if you are just soft hearted and feel things a lot, then, no.  You are you --- you are a deeply caring and feeling person.  Everyone has a different way of looking at things, handling things and processing things.  If some of us are more "sensitive" than others, that doesn't make us wrong or them wrong!!!! 

[151949]

If you are crying at work then you need to speak to a physician about this. This is way more than just "being sensitive" or softhearted. 

[Tinkrbl44]

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@151949wrote:

If you are crying at work then you need to speak to a physician about this. This is way more than just "being sensitive" or softhearted. 

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@151949   @tarsmom

ITA .... and am surprised she hasn't been screened for an anxiety disorder.   I also think someone around tarsmom should have encouraged her getting help ... years ago.

This is a somewhat serious "quality of life" problem .... and really needs to be addressed.   

I think we're all sensitive ... and often sensitive about some things, but not others.    Nevertheless, when it seriously affects your ability to function and cope, please don't waste any more time .... get help.

[151949]

@AngelPuppy1  Do you think that if , obviously more than once from your comment, when people are "making nasty and rude" comments to you, that most likely they are people who are trying to help you , and the comments aren't at all nasty & rude - but attempts to make you see that your behavior is inappropriate. I think you percieve them as nasty & rude but they aren't that at all.

[blackhole99]

If you have been sensitive your whole life, I think that's just who you are . IMO there is nothing wrong with being able to show your feelings as long as they are not affecting others negatively. If co workers are complaining about you or your friends and family are avoiding you, then maybe you would want to get some help , otherwise, I would ride out the time you have left at work and don't worry about it. I don't cry at the drop of a hat, I'm the type of person who prefers to be in control of my emotions.I feel for me, there's a time and place for everything.

[Elri]

Oh yes, but I take pills for that now.

[Trinity11]

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@tarsmomwrote:

 I am 62 and sensitive.  I have a love/hate relationship with it.  I feel for people, I cry at commercials, but there are times I don't feel like that at all.  At work, if I compare myself to others (work-related) I cry because I can't go as fast as the others (computer work).  I can't retire for 2.5 years yet.  You know, I don't know whether I need counseling, medication or just say "I am what I am and God made me to be a sensitive person".  Do any of you struggle with your sensitivity?  Looking back on my life, I cried in high school, most of my jobs and I guess it really boils down to comparing myself to others.  In today's work world, you're not there because they 'like' you, you're there to perform a service.  Numbers are everything.  Relationships (which I excel at) are not a tangible measurement of value.  I was a manager for 20 years and did well at it but took a lesser paying job a year ago.  I love young people and don't think of myself as 'old' but it is darn hard to work with 20-30 somethings (even though I do enjoy them).  I'm not a grandma, I'm not 22, I don't know where I fit - do any of you feel like this?

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I have always been drawn to people that are sensitive. I think it is a lovely attribute in a human being. My husband is a very sensitive man and so is my son. Personally, I am sensitive too but like yourself I have often been hurt because of it. Yet, I think being sensitive brings so much into your life that others perhaps never get the opportunity to feel. It will never be a negative in my life....don't let it be one in yours either @tarsmom

In regard to posts that claim you should never cry at work. One of the best physicians I have ever had the honor to know had tears in his eyes when he came out of the operating room to tell me that our 3 year old son would live after a very serious illness. A moment I will never ever forget....

[Cakers3]

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@151949wrote:

@AngelPuppy1  Do you think that if , obviously more than once from your comment, when people are "making nasty and rude" comments to you, that most likely they are people who are trying to help you , and the comments aren't at all nasty & rude - but attempts to make you see that your behavior is inappropriate. I think you percieve them as nasty & rude but they aren't that at all.

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@151949

[mintedrose]

Aww, you know sensitive is the new strong in our world right now. We need more sensitive people like you because more and more people are losing touch with theirs and its not serving anyone well. We are humans with feelings and emotions, its ok to want to cry at movies and weddings. Its good to feel for other people because we are all made the same way. I do it too and I feel for people all the time. I cry at happy commercials. lol Wish i could invite you over for a cup of tea and hug you. Please dont compare yourself to 20 somethings because you are unique in your way. You have special gifts that they may not. Ive been in business management and it take a toll on you at times because its so black and white. Theres no roam for human emotion and you're right its all about numbers and most often the business sees you as a commodity. May I suggest that you do something that you really love as a hobby. Spend at least 30 minutes every day doing what you really love and you will feel better. Just give yourself a big hug and tell yourself its ok to be you the way you are. You dont need to go compete and 'be' someone else to be loved. Just be you and thats beautiful. 

[jeanlake]

Harpa - well stated post.