@fortune wrote:
This is not addressed to anyone in particular. It saddens me when people separate mental illness from illness. They don't get the proper care--doctor visit, therapy, and medication. They seem to feel guilty that they have these symptoms. Family members, who don't have knowledge about mental illness and separate it from "real" illness often look upon the person as complaining or just not straightening up and getting "over" it.
Our society has lagged behind in this crucial area. Schools should address it, parents should make themselves aware of the signs and symptoms, we should all accept it as a true physical problem, and treat it as such.
Please try to increase your own and others' awareness of this cultural lag. We owe it to ourselves and our children. When we have mental illness, it should be taken seriously and treated just like we would handle a broken leg or other physical problems!!!
It's also a grave mistake to assume mental illness in the face of what is likely a response to circumstance and after-effects of sedation.
I don't hear anxiety in the OP's plaint. I hear irritation--not the same--and I hear anger.
The OP finds the sound of the A/C annoying and is vexed by the sound it's making when it's not actually cooling. She could try switching her A/C setting to "energy saving" and see if it shut off when the compressor stopped running. This just turns off the fan and actually doesn't save much energy, but it might provide her a respite from the sound. Earplugs are another solution, if the A/C is absolutely necessary.
The OP is nearing 80 and is recently widowed. The old age (and that's what it is, let's stop moving the needle on reality) combined with the trauma of bereavement can knock you off your moorings and make you cranky, at minimum.That is not mental illness.
Both old age and widowhood change life irrevocably and take a great deal of adjustment. Change isn't something most people welcome, especially change they can't control. Counseling, an in-person widow's support group (in addition to online boards, if they help), and possibly medication could help her through some of it while she gets her bearings. Regular exercise, even just a daily half-hour walk, is vital.
One thing the OP needs to do is start eating properly. Lack of nourishment is going to make it far harder for her to cope with everything. She should seek professional help with that if she cannot make herself eat more. That, frankly, is the most pressing issue that I see here. A doctor could help her with some mild sleep medication if counseling, support groups, and exerise don't improve her sleeping.
Her relationship with her son seems troubled. She says he "is resenting all this" (don't know what that encompasses) although he does help, but the OP resents him for not doing more for her. A frank discussion between the two of them seems in order, to clarify needs, assumptions, and limits.
Time itself helps, but I look at these major life changes the way I did my neighbor's hip replacement. I knew we had a window of time in which to do her daily therapeutic exercises if we were to maximize her range of motion and overall health in the future. She did them every day, with my help. She did the work, but really needed the support to do it. Time alone would have healed the bones, but because she put the work in at the right time, she wound up with great range of motion and a complete recovery.
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