Wellness

[dooBdoo]

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@cowboy sam wrote:

doBdoo,

 Just a simpleThank you !

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And a simple, "You're welcome!"  And thanks for your post, @cowboy sam.

[dooBdoo]

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@wildcat fan wrote:

Thanks for sharing @dooBdoo

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You're welcome, @wildcat fan.  I appreciate your post.

[dooBdoo]

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@momtochloe wrote:

@dooBdoo I cannot thank you enough for posting this.

I was consumed with anxiety taking care of my elderly parents and working a high stress job with goofy hours but being the person that I am I just kept pushing through it as I didn't have the knowledge or the resources to help me realize and understand what was happening to me.  I just kept smiling and moving forward.

I so hope everyone that is reading these posts and perhaps recognizes themselves in some even small way stop and reach out to those that can help them work through what is happening to them/what they are feeling.  I'll be the first to admit I wish I did.

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@momtochloe, I'm so sorry you had such a difficult time, but glad you could talk about it and also that this thread gave you some level of comfort.  It's so kind of you to be concerned about others and to appreciate how much this perspective can help...  especially in those dark times when we feel alone and we think no one else knows the feeling.

[dooBdoo]

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@Nuttmeg wrote:

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@mima wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

The title of the thread states "want their FRIENDS to know."   

"The rest of the world" and random co-workers and miscellaneous acquaintances were not mentioned.

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Well I "wish" my best friend would take moonchildes advice and she is my friend, not a misc. acquaintance or co-worker.  She calls me and talks for hours telling me all her troubles and she does not take my advice.  I have told her over and over she needs to be on meds and she needs therapy.

She does many of these things such as going over and over what she said (word for word) to a guy she loved and he dumped her.  She has saved 2  years of texts that she reads me over and over.  She analyzes every word he said over and over.  She stays home and won't ever go out though she wants a husband. I told her a man isn't just going to be walking up and knocking on her door (she lives in the country).   She has no friends where she lives and works because she doesn't trust anyone.  II could go on and on and on...............

I love her and have been friends with her for 50 years, but I can't help her.  I've tried.

BTW, we talk on the phone and don't see each other in person since we live about 2 hours away.

Now she has a dog so she uses that as an excuse why she can't go anywhere.

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She is fortunate to have you as her friend. She also has a dog.

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@Nuttmeg, I agree.

@mima, I agree with you that your friend needs professional help.  It sounds more to me (though I'm certainly not a qualified therapist) that she desperately needs an outlet for her concerns and might be abusing your friendship by obsessing and taking so much of your time.  I agree, she's lucky to have a friend like you but at the same time there might be a gentle way to move her away from relying on you and, instead, talking with a counselor.  I wish you (and your friend) the best.

[dooBdoo]

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@jpie wrote:

@dooBdoo

Thank you

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You're welcome, @jpie.  Thanks for posting.

[dooBdoo]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

Well, that certainly belabored the point....lol   You could havd said most of that with 8 or 10 bullet points but if spending all the time it took to comppse that was therapeutic for you, I hoped it helped.  I know this is a difficult time for people who deal with such issues.  Howver, this is a classic example of what those of us who are close to family and dear friends who live with these illnesses have deal with and it totally exhausts us  Because your world is all about "ME".  You expect a lot, ask for a lot, require a lot, need a lot and no matter how much we love and care want to "be there" for you.....we can't because enough is never enough.  I guarantee you that IF I managed to live up to 35 of the 36 with my sister who has been chronically depressed since her twenties; she complain that I never did the 36th thing.  Because her "issues" come from within and she's so immersed in "ME" that she can't see how "her" illness overwhelms and exhausts the people who care about her.  We cannot immerse ourselves in your iillness.  We don't have crystal balls, we have no waying of knowing if this is a "good" day for you are a "bad" day.  We get tired of being verbally whipped and ignored and accused when we do try to be supportive.  We get it.  It's an illness but we are;'t the cause of that illness and we aren't the cure.   We're people with feelings too and we do the best we can.   

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@chrystaltree, I didn't spend any time "composing" it.  Probably a couple of minutes posting it.  The original post is a simple copy of the article at the link.

Thanks for adding your thoughts.  As I said before, I certainly know about the perspective you present and the original post was simply an effort to share the "other side of the coin" since it's not often publicized.  I'm not saying it can't be discussed here, but I think your (and a couple of other posters') viewpoint would make a great thread on its own.   I know from reading numerous threads in the past that we have a multitude of loving, generous caregivers who certainly deserve attention, admiration, and a compassionate listening ear.

[dooBdoo]

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@tedEbear wrote:

@dooBdoo----THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

@151949 and@MIMA-----I have had PanicAttacks for at least 25YEARS.  3months of psychiatric care and 0ver 6years of psychological sessions.  I still have the attacks and anxiety attached.  I wish my Family was more understanding.  They just pooh-pooh my feelings and,of course, that is not helpful.  Friends, all long distance, so no.  I count you on these boards to to be my friends.  We can agree on things and not agree on other things, and that is perfectly alright with me.  You are still considered a friend.    Making light of anything is not helpful and spending time with medical people and medicines, is not always helpful.  I still recommend people try therapy, it MAY HELP them, it didn't help me.  In my HEAD I KNOW it isn't helpful to have the feelings I have, but, I have them.

 @dooBdoo-------SORRY to go off track there for a minute.--------tedEbear              HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

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Oh,  my goodness,, @tedEbear,  you didn't go off track.  Everyone's expressing their viewpoints and also their personal experiences, and yours is valuable, too.   I'm sorry you've gone through so much, and I do hope you can find good solutions, and peace, and comfort.  Remember, you're not alone and there are many sensitive, kind posters here who understand and will open their hearts to you. 

I was in hopes that the original article's list would be helpful in advancing an understanding of one side of the issue that in my experience isn't talked about very much, and I hoped it might advance understanding and a new empathy for that viewpoint.  I've been on both "sides," and of course it's all worth exploring and leaning about, so I really can empathize.  In all truth, there really aren't "sides" as such, since all of us are in this world together.

I hope 2016 will bring good things to you, @tedEbear, and to everyone here.

[151949]

I have dealt with ill people for many years and it is my experience that people who have mental illnesses are very difficult to convince they need help and they need to help themselves. As another poster said they are very much ME ME ME oriented and not able to comprehend that they have a very negative effect on those around them. They truely do believe that it is perfectly alright to set down a list of 36 ways the rest of the world should change to adapt to them, while they make no effort at all to adapt to the rest of the world. Attempting to reason and expecting common sense is a waste of time. It is very frustrating. I don't know how people who work in the mental health fields do it, I greatly admire them.

[Moonchilde]

It's natural and expected that "both sides" will be drawn to comment in a thread like this - as it should be.  There are people who struggle with these issues, and there are people who struggle with being caregivers and supportive family.

But I think it needs to be said that anxiety and depression can be symptoms of larger issues - bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, OCD for example - and those larger, more complex, tougher to treat issues are more than anxiety and depression as stand-alones, so to speak. Personality disorders are often in the mix.

What the OP started out to be was dealing with simple anxiety and depression, not complicated, extensive mental illness. I get that caregivers have it rough for a variety of reasons, but I would not consider/classify all personality disorders the same as anyone having anxiety or depression, and to be regarded the same.

[wildcat fan]

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@151949 wrote:

I have dealt with ill people for many years and it is my experience that people who have mental illnesses are very difficult to convince they need help and they need to help themselves. As another poster said they are very much ME ME ME oriented and not able to comprehend that they have a very negative effect on those around them. They truely do believe that it is perfectly alright to set down a list of 36 ways the rest of the world should change to adapt to them, while they make no effort at all to adapt to the rest of the world. Attempting to reason and expecting common sense is a waste of time. It is very frustrating. I don't know how people who work in the mental health fields do it, I greatly admire them.

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I think if you re-read the OP, you'll see that it's not simply a list of ways the rest of the world should change.  It seemed that some of the comments showed that some people with anxiety are aware of how they have affected others.  IMO attempting to reason can be frustrating, but not a waste of time.  I also applaud people in the mental health field.  I wish there were ways to increase their services and decrease costs.