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Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-23-2010

Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

Thanks for sharing @dooBdoo

 

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

@dooBdoo I cannot thank you enough for posting this.

 

I was consumed with anxiety taking care of my elderly parents and working a high stress job with goofy hours but being the person that I am I just kept pushing through it as I didn't have the knowledge or the resources to help me realize and understand what was happening to me.  I just kept smiling and moving forward.

 

I so hope everyone that is reading these posts and perhaps recognizes themselves in some even small way stop and reach out to those that can help them work through what is happening to them/what they are feeling.  I'll be the first to admit I wish I did.

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

[ Edited ]

@Moonchilde wrote:

@151949 wrote:

You state here 36 ways that you feel the rest of the world should adjust themselves for someone with anxiety. How about a few on how a person with anxiety should adjust themselves to function with all the rest of the world ? Like seeing a therapist and getting on appropriate meds and then actually doing the therapists suggestions and actually taking their meds as prescribed.I have known more people throughout my career than I can count who have anxiety and do not do any of those 4 things to help themselves but expect the entire world to adjust to them and their problems. I certainly don't mind adjusting to someone else as long as they are making an effort to help themself.


 

The title of the thread states "want their FRIENDS to know."   

 

"The rest of the world" and random co-workers and miscellaneous acquaintances were not mentioned.


Well I "wish" my best friend would take moonchildes advice and she is my friend, not a misc. acquaintance or co-worker.  She calls me and talks for hours telling me all her troubles and she does not take my advice.  I have told her over and over she needs to be on meds and she needs therapy.

 

She does many of these things such as going over and over what she said (word for word) to a guy she loved and he dumped her.  She has saved 2  years of texts that she reads me over and over.  She analyzes every word he said over and over.  She stays home and won't ever go out though she wants a husband. I told her a man isn't just going to be walking up and knocking on her door (she lives in the country).   She has no friends where she lives and works because she doesn't trust anyone.  I could go on and on and on...............

 

I love her and have been friends with her for 50 years, but I can't help her.  I've tried.

 

BTW, we talk on the phone and don't see each other in person since we live about 2 hours away.

 

Now she has a dog so she uses that as an excuse why she can't go anywhere.

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻


@mima wrote:

@Moonchilde wrote:

@151949 wrote:

You state here 36 ways that you feel the rest of the world should adjust themselves for someone with anxiety. How about a few on how a person with anxiety should adjust themselves to function with all the rest of the world ? Like seeing a therapist and getting on appropriate meds and then actually doing the therapists suggestions and actually taking their meds as prescribed.I have known more people throughout my career than I can count who have anxiety and do not do any of those 4 things to help themselves but expect the entire world to adjust to them and their problems. I certainly don't mind adjusting to someone else as long as they are making an effort to help themself.


 

The title of the thread states "want their FRIENDS to know."   

 

"The rest of the world" and random co-workers and miscellaneous acquaintances were not mentioned.


Well I "wish" my best friend would take moonchildes advice and she is my friend, not a misc. acquaintance or co-worker.  She calls me and talks for hours telling me all her troubles and she does not take my advice.  I have told her over and over she needs to be on meds and she needs therapy.

 

She does many of these things such as going over and over what she said (word for word) to a guy she loved and he dumped her.  She has saved 2  years of texts that she reads me over and over.  She analyzes every word he said over and over.  She stays home and won't ever go out though she wants a husband. I told her a man isn't just going to be walking up and knocking on her door (she lives in the country).   She has no friends where she lives and works because she doesn't trust anyone.  II could go on and on and on...............

 

I love her and have been friends with her for 50 years, but I can't help her.  I've tried.

 

BTW, we talk on the phone and don't see each other in person since we live about 2 hours away.

 

Now she has a dog so she uses that as an excuse why she can't go anywhere.


She is fortunate to have you as her friend. She also has a dog.

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

@dooBdoo

 

Thank you

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

[ Edited ]

Well, that certainly belabored the point....lol   You could havd said most of that with 8 or 10 bullet points but if spending all the time it took to comppse that was therapeutic for you, I hoped it helped.  I know this is a difficult time for people who deal with such issues.  Howver, this is a classic example of what those of us who are close to family and dear friends who live with these illnesses have deal with and it totally exhausts us  Because your world is all about "ME".  You expect a lot, ask for a lot, require a lot, need a lot and no matter how much we love and care want to "be there" for you.....we can't because enough is never enough.  I guarantee you that IF I managed to live up to 35 of the 36 with my sister who has been chronically depressed since her twenties; she complain that I never did the 36th thing.  Because her "issues" come from within and she's so immersed in "ME" that she can't see how "her" illness overwhelms and exhausts the people who care about her.  We cannot immerse ourselves in your iillness.  We don't have crystal balls, we have no waying of knowing if this is a "good" day for you are a "bad" day.  We get tired of being verbally whipped and ignored and accused when we do try to be supportive.  We get it.  It's an illness but we are;'t the cause of that illness and we aren't the cure.   We're people with feelings too and we do the best we can.   

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

@dooBdoo----THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

 

@151949 and@MIMA-----I have had PanicAttacks for at least 25YEARS.  3months of psychiatric care and 0ver 6years of psychological sessions.  I still have the attacks and anxiety attached.  I wish my Family was more understanding.  They just pooh-pooh my feelings and,of course, that is not helpful.  Friends, all long distance, so no.  I count you on these boards to to be my friends.  We can agree on things and not agree on other things, and that is perfectly alright with me.  You are still considered a friend.    Making light of anything is not helpful and spending time with medical people and medicines, is not always helpful.  I still recommend people try therapy, it MAY HELP them, it didn't help me.  In my HEAD I KNOW it isn't helpful to have the feelings I have, but, I have them.

 

 @dooBdoo-------SORRY to go off track there for a minute.--------tedEbear              HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻

[ Edited ]

@newziesuzie wrote:

Thanks for sharing this @dooBdoo.

 

Hit home for me.

 

❤️


 

You're welcome, @newziesuzie.  I'm glad it was meaningful to you.Smiley

 

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻


@baker wrote:

@151949 wrote:

You state here 36 ways that you feel the rest of the world should adjust themselves for someone with anxiety. How about a few on how a person with anxiety should adjust themselves to function with all the rest of the world ? Like seeing a therapist and getting on appropriate meds and then actually doing the therapists suggestions and actually taking their meds as prescribed.I have known more people throughout my career than I can count who have anxiety and do not do any of those 4 things to help themselves but expect the entire world to adjust to them and their problems. I certainly don't mind adjusting to somother \eone else as long as they are making an effort to help themself.


As someone who was plagued by parents who suffered from anxiety and depression, I totally agree with your comment. Mental illness is no different than any other illness, after awhile it gets old and drains your loved ones and friends mentally and emotionally. Yes, it's real to the mentally ill, but it's real for those who suffer along with you.


 

@151949 and @blackhole99, thanks for adding to the discussion.Smiley  I can understand there's also the perspective of the caregiver, or those who regularly come in contact with someone experiencing depression and anxiety.   Many of us know what that's like, and can understand the important feelings you express here.  However, the original post isn't intended to cover all bases or to try and present the concerns of everyone. 

 

 

 

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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Re: 🌻36 Things People With Anxiety Want Their Friends to Know🌻


@LilacTree wrote:


 


DooBdoo, I could have said all of those things at one time or another in my life.  Some loved ones and friends understand and stick by you . . . others don't.  Anxiety/depression is usually experienced by sensitive individuals . . . oh how many times I have wished I could be "laid back" and accepting of all that goes on in my life and the lives of those I love.  What a blessing that would be.

 

These words and thoughts are well understood by those of us who experience life deeply and seriously, sometimes to our detriment, but unavoidable and often uncontrollable.  Those who mock and crow about having total control over their feelings often exhibit their own anxieties by lashing out and criticizing others.  That makes them feel superior. 

 

Thank you for a post that reminded me I am not alone, we are not alone in our struggles.

 

[And I don't see where including initials gives anyone's anonymity away . . . certainly you, of all people, have always exhibited concern about the privacy of others.]

 

I wish a peaceful New Year to you and all other posters on this forum.


 

@LilacTree, thanks for your post.   I agree, it helps so much to realize we're not alone no matter what struggles we face.  It struck me that the particular perspective of this article was one which isn't often presented...  it really helped me, and my hope was that it would be helpful to others.

 

Thanks for the good wishes, and I echo them!Smiley

 

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova