As someone else said, one never knows what goes on in someone else's marriage. i wish them well and especially hope they help their children through the process of adjusting to a divorce.
When I was growing up, to say that we had the picture-perfect family would be an understatement. My parents were absolutely wonderful. We were the center of their lives. They were involved in PTA, girls brownies, Cub Scouts, you name it. They had lots of friends and were active in the community. Most of our friends wanted to play at our house because my parents were just so great and our lives were so happy. Our lives were family centered with lots of gatherings, church, and happy times. Suddenly when I was 14, it all fell apart and they suddenly separated. I always said that my parents had the most polite divorce in history, which took a year, because there was no arguing and there never were any fights. They were very well behaved and kept any rancor away from the kids. But things were falling apart behind the scenes and nobody knew it. I was just telling my mother again recently that for the children, a divorce is never really over. The parents can go their own ways and make happy marriages, which my parents did. I loved both of my stepparents. But no matter what, the children – I can only speak for myself – may feel as if they're trying to ride two horses at the same time for the rest of their lives. You live, as a child of divorce, in two worlds. Your mom's. Your dad's. You go back-and-forth and try to put it all together but those two lives need to be somewhat separate because your parents have separated. For me it was as if I was split in two, and I spent decades in my own mind trying to make myself and my heart whole again. It took forever. I only learned a handful of years ago that my brother went through the same process and only at about age 60 did he feel that he put himself back together too. Today, perhaps children automatically get counseling and help with getting through their parents' divorce. I hope so. Back in the mid-1960s when no one else that we knew had parents divorcing, it just wasn't talked about, and we were left to figure out how to get along despite the constant care and love of our wonderful parents and eventually stepparents. Had you seen me then, you would have seen a bubbly, busy, happy teenager. Inside, I was scared, depressed, guilty because I couldn't seem to help my parents, and in an emotional free fall.
Yes, pray for those kids.
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