TV and Movies

[alicedee]

@phoenixbrd  I agree...if at all possible I would want to die at home as well.  I’m not sure if you know, but Hospice doesn’t require you to be in a hospital setting...,you can stay in your home.  They make arrangements for a hospital bed to be delivered, and someone comes out to get meds set up and make sure family/friends know what to do.  You can call them at any time for help...,but they leave you alone with your loved one...it’s not like there is a Hospice worker there all the time.  My sister died at home with her husband, children and siblings all around her.  We called Hospice to let them know when she was gone and then they took care of things from there.

[alicedee]

@phoenixbrd ...Oops...sorry, I posted before I read others’ responses explaining more how Hospice works.

❤️

[phoenixbrd]

@alicedee Thank you for this information (no need to be sorry, I appreciate your contribution).  I was discussing this subject with my husband last night after posting.  I was with my dearest friend in the hospital when she was transitioning.  She was in excruciating pain due to the cancer even though on heavy pain medication.  We were wondering why her husband chose not to have her at home with hospice care after learning from the posters here that they come to your house.

 Do you know if you are a controlled substance like morphine due to the pain it requires a hospital rather than hospice care at home?  What a difficult decision to make if so...Is Tony keeping his wife at home denying hospice because they will insist on pain medication and therefore a hospital stay.  Difficult decisions that we might want to discuss among family members long before the occasion arises.

[CANDLEQUEEN]

Thank you for the update. I have wondered how she was doing. I just love her, she is so upbeat and funny...I feel for both of them, and I hope she does not suffer too much.....Prayers to her and her family!

[Pook]

I would think he is saying they will not give up to hospice and will stay with the plan to try to fight against the cancer.  I am sure that is what she wants or wanted (if not cognizant).  They surely would have discussed it.  She survived against all odds for years.

Just because someone does not choose hospice does not mean they will not be treated for pain - just that they want to live as long as possible.

My mother would not agree to hospice care and wanted treatments to continue.  She even had back surgery to remove 98% of the tumor in her spine and had her spine rebuilt and actually had over a year of fairly good quality of life and she even wanted a trach so she could live.  She loved life and she would not give up.  She had options for pain without hospice.  Hospice is just when a person has decided no more treatments or measures to keep them alive.  Had she allowed hospice care she would have died within a few months.  Just because someone does not choose hospice does not mean they will not be treated for pain - just that they want to live as long as possible.

Hospice is a choice and no right or wrong choice.

[NicksmomESQ]

   Tony is a wonderful loving husband.My heart goes out to both him & Valerie & their daughter.💐

[Carmie]

I think Tony is misguided too. He apparently doesn't know what hospice is.

Hospice makes the end of your life easier for the patient and their family and as pain free as possible for the patient.

Hospice not a place, but a service, though there are hospice facilities. They will come to your home or hospital to provide for you and your family members.

My MIL and my brother both received hospice care.  Those hospice workers are angels and many are volunteers.

My brother passed while a young woman from hospice  was in his bedroom paying a harp softly to soothe him.  

[chrystaltree]

It sounds to me that he doesn't fully understand what hospice care is.  A lot of people think that hospice means that the patient has to be admitted to facility, that the patient has to leave his or her home to receive end of life care and that isn't the case at all.  Many patients and family now choose home based hospice care.  The patient and the family receive all hospice care services in the comfort and familiarity of their own home.  

[Luvitorleaveit1]

I didn't watch the Mary Tyler Moore show much but I sure watched the spinoff Rhoda with Valerie Harper her husband Joe and her mother Ida!  I can't believe I still remember the characters name.

I am so sorry to hear this.  I pray for strength for her and her family during this difficult time.

[agnesann]

Thank you, @SeaMaiden for this very moving update on Valerie's declining condition. I've wondered how she is recently, as I so enjoy her on the MTM reruns. Such a bright light she casts, and I'm sorry to learn of her continued suffering. Feel awful for her husband and all who know and love her personally. Praying for all of them, as well as her. 

Thanks to @Carol Diane for the info on the GoFundMe account. Something I can do to help, in addition to prayers. Bless her, she worked and contributed for as long as humanly possible even after her diagnosis. Just hate to think of her suffering, and I agree with those here who say that home hospice can be such a comfort to the whole family. It's a terribly hard process, and I wouldn’t want my husband and son to endure this alone, were it me.