@dooBdoo wrote:
I'm going to write a novel, so my apologies up front.😊
I wrote at length on another thread, maybe last year, about the perceptions of the family members... particularly Amy and Matt. At the time I noticed Xfinity On Demand had added all the seasons, and I really had too much time on my hands, so I went back and watched most of them.
There's so much there we don't see mentioned now. For example, how little interaction Matt had with the kids or Amy... how distracted he was with wanting and focusing on his own projects, often hiding them or sneaking them in when Amy didn't know.
In early shows, the kids made mention of how unusual it was to see him attending their events, and even then he would show up and then leave (he did the same thing with vacations, too).
Also, Amy sometimes had to not only take care of all the household needs and the children's needs but also at times had 2 jobs to help support the family.
I think it's eye-opening to go back, now, and watch some of the early shows, see how much she took care of everyone while Matt went off on his adventures and projects, some that benefited the family but not all. Amy was treated as "second best" or a second thought in so many ways.
I think Matt was and is usually narcissistic and selfish.
Speaking of vacations... he would plan those on his own, and then expect everyone to go along -- sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. I came across the show 'way back when the first episodes were new, and it became, I guess, a guilty pleasure, so I've always watched as time passed and the kids grew up.
I agree with those who said that the editing has favored Matt significantly, particularly in this short season... and I believe the editing was done that way since there were few episodes, due to the pandemic, and there was a need to "amplify" as much "drama" as the producers could find.
There's background there, as with all human beings, that gets lost. Over time I've seen that Amy's family, when she was growing up, seemed to be a wee bit cold and demanding, and she's made mention that they were strict about meticulous housekeeping so she never wanted her kids to grow up feeling that pressure. (Yes, the house was messy, I know.) She also was very insecure and had (still has) an underlying sadness, and personally I've seen a lot of pain there when she would open up about not feeling "good enough." She gave herself wholly to making a home for the family, and I'm not sure any of them appreciated it -- or, at least, expressed that appreciation.
After so many years of marriage, then what appears to be Matt's inappropriate relationship with an employee, then a difficult divorce, her mother's grave illness and death, her father experiencing illness and loss, and then a major move with apparently no one in the family helping her, while she also was trying to establish her own business and to "be in charge" for the first time in her life, and also to be present in a new and healthier relationship (I actually do think she and Chris are a good match, she's with someone who shares so many of her interests, and I think the affection is genuine) ... those are some of life's major stressors and can bring us to our knees.
She's been working through grief in many ways for many people and things. Grief affects us and amplifies emotions, wreaks havoc with our thought processes. So much of all this stress was at the same time Matt decided to pressure her to make a major financial decision right in the middle of last year's Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season.
It's just another example of the many times he decided on something he wanted, and everyone and everything else be danged because it was going to be his way. That attitude goes all the way back to when he proposed and wanted them to elope rather than have the wedding Amy wanted.
Amy started Facebook chats a while back, I think last spring or so. She and her friend Lisa are definitely not tech wizards and they have their share of problems😉🙃 -- and Amy at times gets distracted, so the chats are uneven, but I think some of them shed light on things the viewers don't know or think about.
I don't see her playing the victim -- I think the producers are making it look that way, though. She has her moments when the negativity shows up, but just as in that very last scene in the finale she seems to try to be thoughtful, introspective. She's far from perfect, but watching the old shows and several of those video chats gives a different perspective.
Again, I think the editing is not a good or realistic reflection of the interpersonal relationships and I don't think that's healthy for any of the people involved. Reality tv has perils... in many ways, I wish the family would step away from it, now, so they can nurture and be happy in their new lives. Sorry to ramble, but I wanted to offer a different view.
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