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Honored Contributor
Posts: 28,553
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or Nay?

I recently bought it and was just look at how CRAZY some of these stories are.  I picture some young 20 somethings sitting in front of a computer daydreaming about 'what to write/make up.  Just wondered if you'd get a kick out of seeing some of the pictures (and or short paragraphs) of some of our favorite ?personalities? (I use the word loosely).

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,919
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

I would get a kick out of it.  Thanks for offering to entertain us.  I always heard that Enquirer stories just have to have a speck of truth ( and I do mean "speck") in each story and beyond that just print what sounds the most outlandish or absurd.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 28,553
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

@Wackers3 Thanks for being honest.  I always feel like people would like to read some of these crazy stories but it's like they think someone will see them.

 

I've bought different rag magazines off and on for years.  I pass them on to a friend and give gives them to another friend.  

 

It does make me a little jealous that the last 'friend' gets to see how much turns out to be true because by then time has gone by.  Ha!

 

I remember they kept saying Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were dating, then they were getting married, then she was having his baby, then all of it stopped.  Ha!

 

Now they're saying Brad Pitt is seriously dating Kate Hudson, though HER brother Oliver Hudson thinks it really funny and obviously not true.  Who knows.

 

BE BACK WITH THE LATEST NEWS.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,624
Registered: ‎11-12-2016

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

Enquiring minds want to know !   Smiley Happy

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,863
Registered: ‎08-08-2013

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

During the OJ Simpson trial, Prof. Alan Dershowitz said The Enquirer was "required reading" for law school students.  Remember, they were the ones who had the picture of OJ wearing those "ugly a** shoes".  Dershowitz said they will go to any lengths to get a story - interviewing cab drivers, bartenders, elevator operators, etc..... They will pay large sums of money and have reporters who travel the glove to get a story.

 

Sure, some of it is trash but then again, I can read my local newspaper for that... I'd rather read the NE - at least some of it is true.  JMO

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Posts: 1,408
Registered: ‎06-29-2015

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

OK, c'mon, @Annabellethecat....spill it! Smiley LOL

Muddling through...
Honored Contributor
Posts: 28,553
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

I've procrastinated...story of my life....I promise I will post some tomorrow.

 

It's 10:00 here in Virginia.  I'm going to go bed and watch TV.

 

The Enquirer is sitting here and I promise in the AM I will post some 'juicy' info.  Now who knows if it's true.  I wish I could post the front page because it is really crazy and funny...not ha ha funny just stupid but it's political.

 

Anyway, I'll give you one or two now 

 

Julia Roberts has 'packed' on 43 lbs as her marriage is crumbling (there's a picture of her and she looks a little like a small porker...not as porky as me just a normal looking woman).  Ha!

 

Kim and Khloe have had "matching" BUTT reduction surgeries.  A picture of the before and after.  The before picture you could sit a lunch try on the butt the after picture you could set a plate on the butt.

 

OMG!  This is dated Feb 20 and George Confesses:  "I KNOCKED UP AMAL".  George is busy baby proofing the estate (I'm sure he has a hammer and everything).  Amal is having sugar cravings because she's now eating sticky toffee pudding, which she never ate before (that's important to know people).

 

Ryan Gosling is a meany.  He won't let his Dad see his children.  His head is swollen and he left his Dad behind when he got famous....Ryan was on Mickey Mouse club when he was 12 years old.  His dad stayed behind while his mom (Donna) went with him.  His parents divorced soon after.....

 

OMG (again)!  Phew!  I'm overly excited here people!  There is the worst picture of poor Janet Jackson I've ever seen.  She has on some kind of fur thing draped over her and she looks like she's easy 325 lbs!  The headlines say, JANET DOOMED TO BE FAT FOREVER. This picture as AFTER she had the baby (named Eissa on Jan 3).  They even quote some Dr they dug up to say, "Slimming down will 'require enormous discipline, a lot of exercise and fastidious dieting" WARNED top New York interenist Dr. Stuart Fischer, otherwise she might be saddled with the weight forever.   Wait...I'll try to pull out a tear for her...Give it up!  With her billions (her husband is a zillionaire) she get rid of the fat with the latest way!  I wish you could see this picture.  She looks like a freaking bear with a bun on the top of her head and glasses.  It doesn't look like her!

 

OK, this is the last one for now.  The Fort Hood Shooter wants to have a sex change.....and he wants the US to pay for it.  This guy has been writing to The Enquirer.  He says he's trying to change his 'ways into a woman who the Creator (capital C in the story) would be proud of'.  This guy is 4 6 years old, bald and so gross looking he is going to make the ugliest woman...can't imagine!  

 

He talks about Chelsea Manning who had reassignment and the military paid for her's/his.  

 

This first guy was sentenced to death so he'd better hurry up (sorry, couldn't resist this guy is terrible).  He's in solitary confinement, yet he's able to 'speak' to the Enquirer???

 

OK, here's one...Headline:  BEYONCE TRAPPED, ALONE -- AND EXPECTING TWINS...She's glowing with the news but privately she's trapped and alone in a nightmare marriage...what the heck?

 

According to the Enquirer and secret sources she swinging a baseball bat, Beyonce called out her tycoon husband for multiple affairs.  (Oh!  This was in her Lemonade video)... Phew!  I was really getting worried for a minute there.  I thought she was going to pull another one of the things like Tiger Wood's wife (remember that)....Wow!  Calm down Annabelle, Beyonce will be fine...reading further now....Some guy called Rymir Satterthwaite says he is JayZ's love child (how old is this love child anyway, sounds like a man??).  A source (whatever) says, (now this is a quote from the source, this isn't Annabelle talking...."(source) "Bey and Jay are two flawed people who make everyone believe they're perfect"  said "the source".  Wait!  Don't go yet...the 'source' isn't finished.....(says the 'source' "But they are a bad sorm and you'd best believe there aren't any blue skies hovering over them".  Well bugger....who's that source anyway...and what do they know?  Right?

 

I'm depicting a thread throughout this Enquirer....it seems like Beyonce also has on a thick fur looking coat covering most of her up???  Humm!  All of the people I mentioned have on fur looking coats....

 

OK, one more...OK all of you 'old timers' like myself??? Remember CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE?  Well, they made the Enquirer and no...contrary to what some of you (myself included) they aren't dead (sorry, but I thought they were).  Anyway Daryl is Deranged and dying and he says his caregiver is out to kill him?  What the hay?

 

Why can't they leave the poor man alone?  He really isn't well (he's 74) and in hospice care but he keeps calling 911 saying someone is trying to (in quotes 'kill') him.  This is also from a 'source'.  That source is a busy beaver, isn't he/she?

 

Johnny Depp is wasting big bucks (headline)...he's depraved and drunk and has squandered millions of dollars on his wild lifestyle, including $30K a month just on wine....Note here from Annabelle..."All that means is he's an alcoholic"....more later tomorrow.

 

Another headline:  Marriage Meltdown:  Two years after wedding, Robert F Kennedy Jr's bride Cheryl Hines is fed up with his wondering eye(s) (he has two of them...I inserted the s people....and his bratty kids!  More on that tomorrow...

 

OK, I'm going to bed.  This has been brought to you by the National Enquirer and like most things here there is usually a little truth here and there.

Remember they are the one's who exposed the John Edwards affair:

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/photos/how-enquirer-broke-john-edwards-love-child-scandal/

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,537
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N


@Annabellethecat wrote:

I've procrastinated...story of my life....I promise I will post some tomorrow.

 

It's 10:00 here in Virginia.  I'm going to go bed and watch TV.

 

The Enquirer is sitting here and I promise in the AM I will post some 'juicy' info.  Now who knows if it's true.  I wish I could post the front page because it is really crazy and funny...not ha ha funny just stupid but it's political.

 

Anyway, I'll give you one or two now 

 

Julia Roberts has 'packed' on 43 lbs as her marriage is crumbling (there's a picture of her and she looks a little like a small porker...not as porky as me just a normal looking woman).  Ha!

 

Kim and Khloe have had "matching" BUTT reduction surgeries.  A picture of the before and after.  The before picture you could sit a lunch try on the butt the after picture you could set a plate on the butt.

 

OMG!  This is dated Feb 20 and George Confesses:  "I KNOCKED UP AMAL".  George is busy baby proofing the estate (I'm sure he has a hammer and everything).  Amal is having sugar cravings because she's now eating sticky toffee pudding, which she never ate before (that's important to know people).

 

Ryan Gosling is a meany.  He won't let his Dad see his children.  His head is swollen and he left his Dad behind when he got famous....Ryan was on Mickey Mouse club when he was 12 years old.  His dad stayed behind while his mom (Donna) went with him.  His parents divorced soon after.....

 

OMG (again)!  Phew!  I'm overly excited here people!  There is the worst picture of poor Janet Jackson I've ever seen.  She has on some kind of fur thing draped over her and she looks like she's easy 325 lbs!  The headlines say, JANET DOOMED TO BE FAT FOREVER. This picture as AFTER she had the baby (named Eissa on Jan 3).  They even quote some Dr they dug up to say, "Slimming down will 'require enormous discipline, a lot of exercise and fastidious dieting" WARNED top New York interenist Dr. Stuart Fischer, otherwise she might be saddled with the weight forever.   Wait...I'll try to pull out a tear for her...Give it up!  With her billions (her husband is a zillionaire) she get rid of the fat with the latest way!  I wish you could see this picture.  She looks like a freaking bear with a bun on the top of her head and glasses.  It doesn't look like her!

 

OK, this is the last one for now.  The Fort Hood Shooter wants to have a sex change.....and he wants the US to pay for it.  This guy has been writing to The Enquirer.  He says he's trying to change his 'ways into a woman who the Creator (capital C in the story) would be proud of'.  This guy is 4 6 years old, bald and so gross looking he is going to make the ugliest woman...can't imagine!  

 

He talks about Chelsea Manning who had reassignment and the military paid for her's/his.  

 

This first guy was sentenced to death so he'd better hurry up (sorry, couldn't resist this guy is terrible).  He's in solitary confinement, yet he's able to 'speak' to the Enquirer???

 

OK, here's one...Headline:  BEYONCE TRAPPED, ALONE -- AND EXPECTING TWINS...She's glowing with the news but privately she's trapped and alone in a nightmare marriage...what the heck?

 

According to the Enquirer and secret sources she swinging a baseball bat, Beyonce called out her tycoon husband for multiple affairs.  (Oh!  This was in her Lemonade video)... Phew!  I was really getting worried for a minute there.  I thought she was going to pull another one of the things like Tiger Wood's wife (remember that)....Wow!  Calm down Annabelle, Beyonce will be fine...reading further now....Some guy called Rymir Satterthwaite says he is JayZ's love child (how old is this love child anyway, sounds like a man??).  A source (whatever) says, (now this is a quote from the source, this isn't Annabelle talking...."(source) "Bey and Jay are two flawed people who make everyone believe they're perfect"  said "the source".  Wait!  Don't go yet...the 'source' isn't finished.....(says the 'source' "But they are a bad sorm and you'd best believe there aren't any blue skies hovering over them".  Well bugger....who's that source anyway...and what do they know?  Right?

 

I'm depicting a thread throughout this Enquirer....it seems like Beyonce also has on a thick fur looking coat covering most of her up???  Humm!  All of the people I mentioned have on fur looking coats....

 

OK, one more...OK all of you 'old timers' like myself??? Remember CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE?  Well, they made the Enquirer and no...contrary to what some of you (myself included) they aren't dead (sorry, but I thought they were).  Anyway Daryl is Deranged and dying and he says his caregiver is out to kill him?  What the hay?

 

Why can't they leave the poor man alone?  He really isn't well (he's 74) and in hospice care but he keeps calling 911 saying someone is trying to (in quotes 'kill') him.  This is also from a 'source'.  That source is a busy beaver, isn't he/she?

 

Johnny Depp is wasting big bucks (headline)...he's depraved and drunk and has squandered millions of dollars on his wild lifestyle, including $30K a month just on wine....Note here from Annabelle..."All that means is he's an alcoholic"....more later tomorrow.

 

Another headline:  Marriage Meltdown:  Two years after wedding, Robert F Kennedy Jr's bride Cheryl Hines is fed up with his wondering eye(s) (he has two of them...I inserted the s people....and his bratty kids!  More on that tomorrow...

 

OK, I'm going to bed.  This has been brought to you by the National Enquirer and like most things here there is usually a little truth here and there.

Remember they are the one's who exposed the John Edwards affair:

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/photos/how-enquirer-broke-john-edwards-love-child-scandal/


 

@Annabellethecat  BRAVO!  Great reporting, LOL!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,040
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N

How about the one that said, 'James Dean didn't die in the crash!' He was so horribly disfigured he went into hiding for 7 years before his death. His body was replaced at the crash site with a soldier who was enroute to a hospital-they stopped the ambulance and took the body because he had died. Wow. quick thinking for those there where JD hit the tree. Where was Jimmy during all this, and how wonderful that he could come up with this plan while lying there. And who was the "they"?

 

I'm telling you this one stopped me in my tracks at the Kroger check out. I was half laughing and half mad. Leave the man alone.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,968
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: It's Been Awhile....Anyone want to hear some Latest News from "THE ENQUIRER"..Yea or N


@judaline wrote:

How about the one that said, 'James Dean didn't die in the crash!' He was so horribly disfigured he went into hiding for 7 years before his death. His body was replaced at the crash site with a soldier who was enroute to a hospital-they stopped the ambulance and took the body because he had died. Wow. quick thinking for those there where JD hit the tree. Where was Jimmy during all this, and how wonderful that he could come up with this plan while lying there. And who was the "they"?

 

I'm telling you this one stopped me in my tracks at the Kroger check out. I was half laughing and half mad. Leave the man alone.

 

 


@judaline Your post made me laugh, because I was mesmerized by that headline as I stood in the Kroger checkout, too!!  Thanks for the synopsis of the article lol!

 

@Annabellethecat Your post is hysterical!!  Love it.   Got all the "meat" of the stories and didn't have to buy the NE!!