TV and Movies

[Tique]

@CLHS68  I agree with you. I even typed out a reply yesterday in response to some comments that were made but didn't hit "Send". It was still in my Autosaved drafts so I've decided I should post it.

From my observances with people with Alzheimer's, their short-term memory is in tact for a while. It's the past memories that are the problem which is why Yvonne can't recall she is married but remembers each day that Mike is the person who is making her happy now. I don't think Mike has reached the stage where his short-term memory is completely shot. Apparently neither has she.

@BeckiWV  I don't think it's a question of whether Marcus has a right to Yvonne or not. If he continues to fight what she wants, no one wins. We saw that before when Marcus was trying to push Mike out of her life. It's not like this condition is going to be reversed if someone keeps saying over and over "I'm your spouse. We love each other."

I'm not saying walking away from a long-term relationship is what should be done or what's easy but when you consider the person with the condition has already lost so much, is it fair to deny them a last chance at happiness. That's a question each person faced with this has to ask/answer for him/herself.

[Coquille]

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@Tique wrote:

@CLHS68  I agree with you. I even typed out a reply yesterday in response to some comments that were made but didn't hit "Send". It was still in my Autosaved drafts so I've decided I should post it.

From my observances with people with Alzheimer's, their short-term memory is in tact for a while. It's the past memories that are the problem which is why Yvonne can't recall she is married but remembers each day that Mike is the person who is making her happy now. I don't think Mike has reached the stage where his short-term memory is completely shot. Apparently neither has she.

@BeckiWV  I don't think it's a question of whether Marcus has a right to Yvonne or not. If he continues to fight what she wants, no one wins. We saw that before when Marcus was trying to push Mike out of her life. It's not like this condition is going to be reversed if someone keeps saying over and over "I'm your spouse. We love each other."

I'm not saying walking away from a long-term relationship is what should be done or what's easy but when you consider the person with the condition has already lost so much, is it fair to deny them a last chance at happiness. That's a question each person faced with this has to ask/answer for him/herself.

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@Tique  So eloquently said!  👏

[cowboy sam]

@CLHS68 

  yes..agree...that is what i was try to say the same thing in my post

[Annabellethecat66]

My brother's late mother-in-law had Alzheimer's. She lived with my brother and his wife.  My brother did everything to care for her.  I would visit him and she'd have good days and bad days.  Some days she'd remember things from way back and her memory would be all over the place.  I cannot imagine how difficult it was for them.

My Drs. husband's father had Alzheimer's.  He quit his job to take care of him.  He passed away a few months ago.  She used to talk to me about the struggle of what's he remembering now, etc.

I don't think there's any set rule with this disease.  

I would think that ring would have cost thousands of dollars.  This entire story line is dumb.

I can't stand Robert to start with.  I wish he'd just go away.

[grandma r]

This disease strikes in so many ways.  As difficult as it is to watch, it is more difficult to try to get the patient to remember.  It's best to just agree with them, or, when they believe you are someone else, go along with them.  You don't want to upset anyone.  Besides, there is plenty of time later to cry, get angry, or both.

That said, I still think the whole ring story is stupid!!!

[BeckiWV]

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@Tique wrote:

@CLHS68  I agree with you. I even typed out a reply yesterday in response to some comments that were made but didn't hit "Send". It was still in my Autosaved drafts so I've decided I should post it.

From my observances with people with Alzheimer's, their short-term memory is in tact for a while. It's the past memories that are the problem which is why Yvonne can't recall she is married but remembers each day that Mike is the person who is making her happy now. I don't think Mike has reached the stage where his short-term memory is completely shot. Apparently neither has she.

@BeckiWV  I don't think it's a question of whether Marcus has a right to Yvonne or not. If he continues to fight what she wants, no one wins. We saw that before when Marcus was trying to push Mike out of her life. It's not like this condition is going to be reversed if someone keeps saying over and over "I'm your spouse. We love each other."

I'm not saying walking away from a long-term relationship is what should be done or what's easy but when you consider the person with the condition has already lost so much, is it fair to deny them a last chance at happiness. That's a question each person faced with this has to ask/answer for him/herself.

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@Tique I respect your opinion on this and I understand what you are saying.  I also think how I feel about watching a soap could be different from what I might feel in real life if I were faced with it.  That said, my mother had Alzheimer's and I took care of her and eventually had to put her in a facility.  It's a horrible thing, it really is.  As far as this story aspect goes, it just rubs me the wrong way. If my mother decided someone else was her daughter I don't think I could be more hurt.  Sometimes she did not know me but most of the time she did, and it was so comforting.  . For my mother, her short term was very bad but her long term of her childhood, her mother, her siblings, her teenage years were good.  She remembered me as a child. She could talk all day about those things. I never disagreed with anything she said, whatever she said was ok by me.  If she wanted to talk about me, I would just say tell me more, lol.

[10sluvr]

i think ryan's hand will make an appearance, at the nurse's ball. sort of like the hand, in the munsters.

soooooo sick of DOD, make it go away.

while we are using our imagination, maybe lucky will save his mom.

[mysoutherncomfort]

@Tique I respect your opinion on this and I understand what you are saying.  I also think how I feel about watching a soap could be different from what I might feel in real life if I were faced with it.  That said, my mother had Alzheimer's and I took care of her and eventually had to put her in a facility.  It's a horrible thing, it really is.  As far as this story aspect goes, it just rubs me the wrong way. If my mother decided someone else was her daughter I don't think I could be more hurt.  Sometimes she did not know me but most of the time she did, and it was so comforting.  . For my mother, her short term was very bad but her long term of her childhood, her mother, her siblings, her teenage years were good.  She remembered me as a child. She could talk all day about those things. I never disagreed with anything she said, whatever she said was ok by me.  If she wanted to talk about me, I would just say tell me more, lol.

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I, too, had to finally put my Mom in a faciliy where she eventually died of AD.  I respect everyone's comments and yes, "good days; bad days, worse days" are all a part of this disease.  My mom would tell me something "outlandish" like last night she lost $6,000 on a horserace (upstairs at the facility) or the facility took her out last night and she had to walk miles to get back....of course, I just went along with it.  Or, she would introduce me as her sister, her mother, I just went along with it.  She would yell at my husband (whom she adored) thinking it was someone who "wronged" her from the past.  We went along with it.  We never just walked away even when she no longer knew us.

However, all that being said, what bothers me about the Mike/Yvonne drama is that Marcus is her legal caregiver, medical surrogate, POA and after all is said and done, he would work with the professionals (I don't think I'm saying this right), to reach a (words are failing me now).  Sorry.

Bottom line for me, I guess, it's not so much the "engagement"; it's the ring thhing.  Yvonne says Marcus seems like a nice man.....he would still be around even if Yvonne and Mike thinks of him as just a friend.  Who just walks away from their beloved spouse?

[CLHS68]

@mysoutherncomfort I don't think Marcus is going to just stay away. He said he just could not watch another man propose to his wife. I understand it would be hard for him to watch that & help them celebrate but he also knows they would not understand why they could not get engaged.

[Tique]

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@mysoutherncomfort wrote:

I, too, had to finally put my Mom in a faciliy where she eventually died of AD.  I respect everyone's comments and yes, "good days; bad days, worse days" are all a part of this disease.  My mom would tell me something "outlandish" like last night she lost $6,000 on a horserace (upstairs at the facility) or the facility took her out last night and she had to walk miles to get back....of course, I just went along with it.  Or, she would introduce me as her sister, her mother, I just went along with it.  She would yell at my husband (whom she adored) thinking it was someone who "wronged" her from the past.  We went along with it.  We never just walked away even when she no longer knew us.

However, all that being said, what bothers me about the Mike/Yvonne drama is that Marcus is her legal caregiver, medical surrogate, POA and after all is said and done, he would work with the professionals (I don't think I'm saying this right), to reach a (words are failing me now).  Sorry.

Bottom line for me, I guess, it's not so much the "engagement"; it's the ring thhing.  Yvonne says Marcus seems like a nice man.....he would still be around even if Yvonne and Mike thinks of him as just a friend.  Who just walks away from their beloved spouse?

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I don't know if this is the correct medical term but from what you describe it's a Care Plan. I had to come up with one for my grandmother who was diagnosed with Dementia when she was in her early 90s. It's usually something that loved ones and the medical team corroborate on to figure out what's best for the person with the condition. As the disease continues its toll the Plan is updated as circumstances change.

This is my last comment on this. As stated earlier, we can't expect a tv show to fully depict everything that goes on with this horrid disease in real life.