WARNING!!!!! Please DO NOT READ if you haven't yet watched the current episode.
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Grey's Anatomy is like quicksand: just as soon as you think you've gotten free, it pulls you back in. I'd gotten tired of the old characters, never embraced the newbies and found the already far-fetched plotlines becoming more and more outrageous. I thought that all I needed was that eight week hiatus to cut the cord. Unfortunately, I tuned in last night and got sucked right back in all over again.
IIRC - when last we left the Attendings and Residents of Grey Sloan Hospital in December, Cristina Yang's lover, her inexperienced surgical resident protegee, Shane Ross was killing Jimmy, Alex Karev's mostly absent, alcohol- and chemically dependent dad; Meredith and BFF Cristina were inches away from killing each other due to a silly feud over a 3-D printer; Derek got a Top Secret phone call from the White House and Jackson Avery was professing his love for April Kepner in the middle of her wedding to Matthew. Matrimonius Interruptus.
All caught up? Good.
In this corner we have the rich, hot, young doc whose Mom bought the hospital and put him in charge. In the other corner is the pasty, poor but honest, slightly nerdy EMT Matthew. Smack dab in the middle is April, at the altar, in her gorgeous designer gown. Talk about torn. Do I really need to tell you how that wedding played out? There's another actor in this little drama: Dr. Stephanie Edwards. She was Dr. Avery's "Plus One" who not only got dumped at the wedding, but was completely humiliated in front of her friends and co-workers. Can you say "a woman scorned"?
That's why she was only too happy to get supportive friendship and some unsolicited, yet factually sound legal advice from Dr. Leah Murphy, who was also dumped when Calzona (Drs. Callie Torres and Arizona Robbins) patched up their spat over Arizona's cheating and merrily went house-hunting together. Place your bets on how long their marriage lasts. Overall, it wasn't a great week for some other couples, either. More on the Derrick-Meredith Post-It pairing and the Miranda-Ben union later.
You'll be thrilled to learn that Calzona wasn't the only reconciliation. Meredith and Cristina are besties again, (YUCK!) although we don't know how and we don't know why. And we care, don't we? Is Sandra Oh still leaving at the end of this season - or has she reconsidered?
The Cat Man sub-plot was totally tangential and unnecessary, but it was hilarious. Cat Man wasn't any more bizarre than some of the wild and wacky self-mutilations that people call "body art." After getting in touch with his inner feline, he had 15 surgeries, implanting whiskers, studs and pointy teeth, to make his exterior resemble a great big cat, too. And he wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend. The poor guy caused an accident merely by walking down the street, so he longed to look normal and interact with people again after years of isolation. Knowing the true meaning of hurt and humiliation after the wedding debacle, sympathetic Dr. Stephanie practically blackmailed Avery, demanding that he fix The Cat Man by performing the reversal surgery gratis.
Two major secrets were revealed during the vetting process for Derek Shepherd to lead the President's new high-profile, national neurological research initiative. We learned that (1) he reneged on a promise (that we'd never heard of before) to Meredith, that this was her time to shine with her Alzheimer's research, while he took a back seat. Oh, well, promises are made to be broken, right? (2) Derek has been secretly paying $3,500/month for 30 years to the family of Michael Boettcher, a high school hockey teammate he'd paralyzed accidentally with an errant slapshot that resulted in a brain bleed and put him in long-term care. Deal-breaker for the WH job? No way! They'll probably think he was noble and honorable, if not downright saintly. McDreamy's perfect hair was just begging for a halo.
I can't figure out what's wrong with Miranda and it's as if the writers don't know what to do with her character. Early in the season, out of the blue and apparently for no reason whatsoever, suddenly Dr. Bailey developed a massive case of OCD. Now that seemingly under control, but she's just evil. Bailey's angry at the world, especially Ben. She berates him for ditching his residency. He confesses that he came home to be with her. Since he's a surgical superstar, of course, it was ridiculously easy for him to slide into a spot at Grey Sloan without missing a beat. Oh, that's right. There was that vacancy left by the death of Dr. Heather Brooks (Tina Majorino), the first step in the downward spiral of the once quietly brilliant Dr. Shane Ross. BTW - Did you see that W~T~H look on Chandra Wilson's face at the Image Awards immediately after Scandal's Kerry Washington won. There wasn't even an attempt to disguise her shock and disdain. I don't know if they were competing in the same category, but since both shows are Shonda Rhimes' creations, you'd think there'd be more support. I guess not. Apparently there's no love lost among the Shondaland sisterhood.
Oh, that poor guy. What a rough and rocky road it's been for Dr. Ross (Gaius Charles). You can watch him imploding more and more with each passing minute. Yes, he over-reached during surgery on Alex's dad, Jimmy, nearly killing him and Shane's being eaten alive by guilt. Some colleagues are wondering why he's still a licensed physician, employed at GS and not in jail facing attempted murder charges. Owen Hunt is verbally abusing him non-stop during surgery, grilling him with procedural questions. His only supporter in the O.R. is the former Chief of Surgery, Dr. Richard Webber (James Pickens Jr.), who resents Hunt's abrasiveness. Elsewhere Cristina showed a surprising, an almost maternal compassion for her student. Jimmy died and Alex punched Shane's lights out. Still can't figure out why because Alex hated the father who'd abandoned him. Shane's on the edge: depressed and filled with self-doubt. These are all HUGE RED FLAGS signaling that Shane's about to snap. This doesn't look like just a mental meltdown. This is an imminent suicide, but have any of these highly-trained medical professionals sensed that? Heck no! They're too busy getting busy with each other.
That brings us to the HR complaint filed by jilted Stephanie Edwards, alleging 1. s~e~xual harassment, 2. quid pro quo and 3. a hostile work environment. REALLY? What took so long?This prompts Owen to call an emergency meeting of GS's Board of Directors. It's ironic that everyone in the room has been guilty of one or more of those offenses at one time or another, but the complainant remains anonymous, so they have no idea whose dalliance sparked the charges. Realizing that swift and decisive action is in order, albeit a decade overdue, the Board decrees (as we see in the promo for next week's episode) that hook-ups between superiors and subordinates are henceforth strictly, absolutely, positively, totally, completely and unequivocally prohibited.
Okay, so that means the show's over because without the staff's horizontal hopscotching between the sheets, what's left?
What took them so long? We know that the morality bar has been set microscopically low since S1/Ep01 on Grey's Anatomy, but do they live in a world without newspapers, magazines, radio and TV? Did they think that the multi-million dollar harrassment complaints and lawsuits which existed elsewhere couldn't happen there? Again - 10 years from Seattle Grace Memorial to Grey Sloan Hospital - WHAT TOOK THEM SO LONG?
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