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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

@CarmieYou saw how I handled a verbal insult that was far more public than being grabbed.  And I was not much older than you were.  I guess "empowerment" came earlier to me.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,571
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?


@esmerelda wrote:

@CarmieYou saw how I handled a verbal insult that was far more public than being grabbed.  And I was not much older than you were.  I guess "empowerment" came earlier to me.


It’s not illegal in my state to yell an insult to someone, so taking someone to court over this would not even be possible.  I do know that a verbal insult is not in any way even close to sexual harassment.  

 

You make it seem like women who are victims are guilty of something. Either before or after the assault took place.

 

I hope you or never finds yourself a victim of sexual assault.  I am sure you would not be laughing about what measures you took afterward because you are empowered.

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,710
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

@Carmie I'm with you.  The things that we tolerated decades ago...I will admit that as a teenager it never even occurred to me to report various sexual harassments I endured.  I really didn't think anyone would care at the time to be perfectly honest, or laugh it off.  Times have changed, that doesn't make us wrong or stupid for failing to be "stronger" when we were young women.

 

I personally was yelled at by my own mother when I told her about a man who had flashed me - I'm certain she was mad that it happened but took her anger out on me for putting myself into that situation and told me NOT to tell my father....  Young girls could not win back then...

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?


@tansy wrote:

@Teddie wrote:

Here’s what I think. I think some of these accusations are getting out of hand. I saw where someone accused George Bush Sr. of inappropriately touching her. The person that was explaining the story said that he is a very elderly man, sitting in a wheelchair and trying to reach up to put his arm around her waist for a photo and of course it’s possible for his arm to slip down some. I just think it’s getting really ridiculous. 


In fairness, there was more there was more to the incident than what you described and more than one accuser.  If it all happened within the last few years though, I think the women could have let it go.


@tansy

I agree.  The former president is in his 90s and probably well on his way into dementia.  He probably didn't even realize what he was doing.  I would have just moved away.

 

[This is being said by a woman who took no c**p from any man in her younger years.]

 

 

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
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Registered: ‎06-14-2015

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

This post has been removed by QVC because it's political.

QVC Customer Care
Posts: 574
Registered: ‎06-14-2015

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

This post has been removed by QVC because it's political.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,858
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

Weren't there witnesses in the so many of these cases who verified the accuser's allegations?  In Hoffman's case, I thought the PA who made these claims was found crying by a coworker, and that coworker verified that she had told her of what happened at the time it all went down.  In the Spacey case, the journalist who interviewed the man who had an affair with Spacey when the man was 14 interviewed the man's friends and therapist who confirmed that he had been discussing this affair for years.  Rapp gave an interview with The Advocate years ago that detailed the incident with Spacey, but he didn't mention Spacey's name.   If they made all this up, they've been making it up for a long time.  While I do believe there are incidents in which people make up claims of assault, I'm not getting that vibe from these accusers.  Has anyone filed a lawsuit yet, even in the Weinstein case?   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,178
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

I think (with Harvey what's his name) and the producer who was interviewed in Rolling Stone,  it is/was out of control.

 

I also agree with some of you who talk about what women put up with a long time ago vs now is very different.

 

I'm 71 years old soon.  I always worked around mostly males when I was young.  I worked at the Pentagon.  We'd go down to the concourse (back then it was open to everyone) we'd go to lunch and shop and the military would all be there too.  

 

They'd flirt and say things and sometimes we'd respond and sometimes just walk away.  We saw it as harmless and to this day I still do. 

 

That said, they didn't put their hands on us, just verbally say things that some might consider harassment today.  Nothing vulgar, just suggestive things.

I think it's wonderful people are finally coming out and

talking about what was done to them.  I hope these people who are proven guilty get prosecuted.

 

One of my daughters lost an entire semester at college because she was attacked.  Another one quit her job, and didn't work for over 6 months because she was very, very verbally abused (in a sexual way).  I know first hand the devastation it can cause.

 

My problem is when more people come out (and many of them are genuine) about things like, "He said this or that 10-15 years ago once or twice" or "He brushed up against my boobs 10 or 15 years ago" (in my opinion) it causes the public to become 'immune' to the news about the sexual and verbal abuse going on.

 

Things today move very quickly.  What was new news today is old news tomorrow...and so on.  After awhile what happens is exactly what is happening now.  The public starts to tune out something like that because it's like 'heard it already'.  

 

I think of this country like a child.  You have a short time to get (and keep) their attention...after that (if it continues) they don't hear 'it'.  Some call it 'information overload'.  

 

Now you can get upset at my post and think I don't care or I'm 'old school' or not listening...yada.  However, the fact is I REALLY do care....as I said, I saw first hand what it can do to a person.  

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 35,093
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?


@TenderMercies wrote:

Weren't there witnesses in the so many of these cases who verified the accuser's allegations?  In Hoffman's case, I thought the PA who made these claims was found crying by a coworker, and that coworker verified that she had told her of what happened at the time it all went down.  In the Spacey case, the journalist who interviewed the man who had an affair with Spacey when the man was 14 interviewed the man's friends and therapist who confirmed that he had been discussing this affair for years.  Rapp gave an interview with The Advocate years ago that detailed the incident with Spacey, but he didn't mention Spacey's name.   If they made all this up, they've been making it up for a long time.  While I do believe there are incidents in which people make up claims of assault, I'm not getting that vibe from these accusers.  Has anyone filed a lawsuit yet, even in the Weinstein case?   


@TenderMercies

 

I saw something on the evening news that the NY DA is getting ready to file charges against HW.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do You Believe Dustin Did It?

[ Edited ]

@Carmie wrote:

@esmerelda wrote:

@CarmieYou saw how I handled a verbal insult that was far more public than being grabbed.  And I was not much older than you were.  I guess "empowerment" came earlier to me.


It’s not illegal in my state to yell an insult to someone, so taking someone to court over this would not even be possible.  I do know that a verbal insult is not in any way even close to sexual harassment.  

 

You make it seem like women who are victims are guilty of something. Either before or after the assault took place.

 

I hope you or never finds yourself a victim of sexual assault.  I am sure you would not be laughing about what measures you took afterward because you are empowered.

 

 


@CarmieIt's called slander.  And cases are decided everyday...even in your state.

 

Telling a dirty joke is sexual harrassment.  Slander is worse.

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Keepin' it real.