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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: new forum - Marriage

[ Edited ]

@newname0 wrote:

@jubilant wrote:

I would think Among Friends would probably be the best place.

 

You have to be a person who can accept a variety of opinions or even insults.  There may be some snarky remarks aimed directly at you. If you are the kind of person who get's their feelings hurt easily or can't take being misunderstood....then this is probably not something I would recommend.  On the other hand, there are some people here that would listen and do their best to be helpful.

 

I think it's important to keep in mind that anything you say  will be out there for the world to see and someone could possibly read your situation and know who you are and who you are talking about.  That is definitely something you should consider. 


 

Jubilant

 

I tried Among Friends and it was like going into a shark tank.  I was looking for Tea and Sympathy but got hardly any.  Thanks for your kind words.


@newname0 

 

After reading the marriage and menopause post, I think the reason you didn't get tea and sympathy is the way in which you worded your post and your speculations about your Godchild's marriage.  Your main concern (at first) seemed to be that menopause might have led to the  problems in that marriage and your feelings about young people today not trying hard enough.  At least that's the way I took it. I think people are having a hard time understanding your sudden interest in your Godchild's marriage problems after all these years and the fact that you are discussing them after long years of no contact.  To a certain degree .....  it seemed like this was more about your relationship to  your family than your Godchild's marriage and you feeling left out.  I don't mean to hurt your feelings but that is the way it came across to me.  I hope you take this in the spirit in which it was given.   I hope maybe you can reconnect with your Godchild. It seems to me like you wished you had kept in touch. She may very well need a kind word or two now and it might start a whole new wonderful relationship.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

I would never ask a bunch of strangers on a forum, especially this one, for any kind of serious advice. It's been my experience that people read into your post what they want to, I know many times I do too. People really don't care IMO about what you have to say, they just want to be heard. A Marriage forum, I don't think so.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: new forum - Marriage

[ Edited ]

@blackhole99 wrote:

I would never ask a bunch of strangers on a forum, especially this one, for any kind of serious advice. It's been my experience that people read into your post what they want to, I know many times I do too. People really don't care IMO about what you have to say, they just want to be heard. A Marriage forum, I don't think so.

 


@blackhole99 

 

I agree with you on most of your post.  People will have a take on what you post so one needs to go into it expecting to get some flack. There are always those who genuinely want to help (which doesn't always mean agreeing with a poster).  There are also always going to be posters that don't know how to disagree agreeably and that is a problem.  I'm beginning to think high schools should have a required communications course for all students!  I think maybe you're right and that a marriage forum is not good idea.  It might hurt more than help. It would probably get as bad as the political and religious discussions used to get and more people would get hurt.

 

  I was probably wrong to advise poster to post  Among Friends.  While I understand the other posters frustrations, I think we often forget that we can speak the truth in a way that tries to consider that posters feelings..... right or wrong.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,457
Registered: ‎03-02-2016

Re: new forum - Marriage

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The mods posted no new forums. So I guess you are out of luck here. But there are other websites out there.  I have been active on a website since 1998. It started out as GardenWeb, has been bought and sold a view times over the years. It is now run by H++zz.  They have a Marriage forum if you want to ask questions there along with over 400 different forums on just about any subject you could think of. I doubt the Q has the money or team to run a website that large. So that is an alternative for you if you want to  try it. They also have a Hot Topics forum where members can discuss politics and religion without interference from mods.  Members actually can Discuss those topics in an adult way without it getting deleted.  So if you want some opinions on a subject not covered here, there are alternatives.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,097
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

There's no harm in suggesting the topics for new forums even though, as been pointed out numerous times, posters were told NO NEW FORUMS EVER!

 

This is, after all, the Suggestion Box.  Maybe posters just like to throw out ideas about what forums they would like to see (and which should mercifully disappear.)

 

Sort of like what would your ideal forum look like?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,580
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: new forum - Marriage

[ Edited ]

It seems to me like maybe you need to just start a thread about menopause. That would go in the wellness forum.

 

I read your other thread in Among Friends.  I'm not sure why you expected sympathy for something that didn't even involve you.  To say that thread was bizarre would be an understatement. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,057
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I for one appreciate the idea and suggestion of this catagory/forum. I am on my second marriage, now 19 years. First marriage was 20 with two children, now grown. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how one looks at it, my husband has decided that he wants to separate. We have not been happy for a long time. Our interests are completely different, he has always done what he wants to do and likes and I am now doing the same (finally) taking care of myself and putting myself first. He is what I call a "functioning alcoholic" even though he would argue that point, but if you drink 3 glasses to an entire bottle of wine each night, I see that as a problem. His memory is going and I believe it is due to the drinking. Yes of course, memory loss can be in our DNA family history, which his mother had in her 90's. After all these years of being dismissed, I no longer care and no longer commited to being his wife.

Super Contributor
Posts: 278
Registered: ‎05-05-2010

@newname0 best advice to give is do not get married - have a realationship but dont' get married- too many people grow apart the longer they are married then they have to go through probably a costly divorce- you can have a family without being married- that piece of paper is just that a piece of paper- I was married for 16 years when my husband died and not getting in a relationship again nor getting married was the best thing for me, I can do what I want when I want- stay single

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

@Kachina624 wrote:

The mods have said,  "No new forums".  Frankly, I don't care to hear about anybody's  marriage problems.


I have no expectation of new forms, I only wish the ones we have could be put in alphabetical order!

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,923
Registered: ‎02-20-2016

This has probably been asked, but: Are there young people on this forum?