NFL News and Notes former offensive lineman and field reporter Hank "the Tank" Pastrami, has landed an exclusive interview with Jerry Jones to discuss the impact of Patrick Mahomes' new deal on the Cowboys' negotiating position towards Dak Prescott. Take it away Hank.
"Jerry, how does Patrick Mahomes new deal impact your position relative to Dak Prescott?"
"First let me clear up one misunderstanding. Dak Prescott and I are not relatives. He's a valued employee of mine, and while we're close, we're not relatives. With that out of the way, let me say that we've been very generous with Dak Prescott and have paid him a total of over $2.7 million in the four years he's been an employee. That's good money these days. Far more than he made playing college football. Our initial contract offer to Dak would have more than doubled what he'd made in those four years in just his first year alone under the new deal, but his agent balked and came back with an absurdly unreasonable deal."
"More than doubled the $2.7 million?"
"We'd offered him almost six million dollars per year on a new five-year deal and he just laughed at us. That hurt our feelings, but this is a business and you can't let personal feelings get in the way of getting the deal done."
"Six million a year was your first offer?"
"It's like I said, that was more than double what he'd made over the previous four years combined and we were willing to commit to that kind of money for five full years, That's thirty million dollars he walked away from."
"Other quarterbacks of his caliber are making well over thirty million each year."
"And their teams aren't signing their star running back to a ninety million dollar contract, or handing out big deals to guys who were stars five years ago like we are. We can't do stuff like that if we pay Dak what he's asking for. You have to manage your money properly. Hang on a minute, that's my phone. Ah, it's my yacht's captain. I've got to take this call. Captain Stubing? The dock fees in Monaco are how much? FIfty million a year for that prime space? Let's do it. That's kind of a bargain. Thanks for letting me know."
"Captain Stubing? The Love Boat guy?"
"Yes. When you've got the best yacht in the world and spend $250 million on it, you want the best captain. I watched him for years on TV and never once did he hit an iceberg or sink his ship. Getting him was some of the toughest negotiating I've ever had to do. He kept insisting he wasn't going to do it and he wanted to act instead. The amount I had to pay him to take the job makes Mahomes deal look like small change. But if you want the best, you've got to pay for it. Let me show you a picture of my yacht. Here it is."
"The Big Ego?"
"It's French and it's pronounced the Beeg Gee Joe or something like that. It's supposed to mean a man of great intelligence and power."
"I studied at the Sorbonne and that's not French."
"It's one of them European languages. They all sound the same to me. The sore bone? You're one of them bone doctors then?"
"Uh, no. Back to the photos of your yacht. The dinghy is called Little Wienie?"
"They said it was named after Vienna sausages. The boat was built somewhere in Europe so I let them name it what they wanted. I suppose it's an honor for the locals."
"I see. Getting back to Dak and his contract though. You're now paying him over $31 million this year under the franchise tag. How are negotiations going on a long term deal?"
"There's been some give and take. We've gone well up from our initial six million a year offer. Our latest offer was over four times that and still they balked. We were offering him ten times what he'd made in his first four years each and every year for five years and his agent said no. It's hard to believe a guy will walk away from nearly $28 million a year to play a kid's game. If we pay him more than that we may not be able to sign old, supposedly washed-up has-beens to fill out the roster. That could hurt or ability to win games."
"Speaking of winning, the Cowboys lost eight games last year."
"Incredible isn't it? The best team in baseball last year was Houston and they lost 55 games. That's nearly seven times as many losses as we had, yet people keep talking about our record being bad. Heck son, if a baseball team only had eight losses they'd be the best ever."
"They play a lot more games."
"A loss is a loss."
"You did miss the playoffs."
"I blame that Jimmy Johnson for that."
"Your former coach?"
"Yeah, ever since he went to work for Fox we've been either missing the playoffs or knocked out early. I'm pretty sure it's his fault. Fox televises a lot of our games and they're doing something to make us look worse than we are. You're telling me that with Tony Romo and the players we had that we couldn't win every Super Bowl? No. It's the Fox guys doing something to hurt us."
"I see. I guess. Uh, you've lost some key free agents this year, chiefly Byron Jones. How are you planning to replace him?"
"I've got a plan for that. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I like you. I was talking to both Deion Sanders and Everson Walls recently and they've both said they'd come back and play for half what Byron Jones wanted. Heck, they're two of the best to ever play for the Cowboys. I may just end up signing both of them. If I can get both of them for what I'd be paying Byron Jones, it's a bargain. Back to Dak Prescott for a minute, as you know we signed Andy Dalton for a fraction of what Dak Prescott is demanding. Dalton signed for a total of just three million dollars. If need be we can move on from Dak and play Andy and use the money we saved to sign guys like Deion and Everson. This will be our best season ever!"
"Thank you Jerry for the time. We'll be sure to watch the Cowboys this year to see how it all plays out. Back to the studio."
Fly!!! Eagles!!! Fly!!!
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