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11-01-2014 10:12 PM
On 11/1/2014 NYC Susan said:On 11/1/2014 stevieb said:On 11/1/2014 NYC Susan said:On 11/1/2014 tiny 2 said:My husband is such an enabler. Get it, Get it. LOL
My husband was the same way. He never cared what I bought or how much I spent, and often would encourage me if I hesitated to buy something I wanted. We trusted each other enough not to over-spend or do anything else crazy without having to constantly monitor each other's activity.
I know the OP is pretty much only joking, but I can't imagine being in a marriage where I had to worry about my husband admonishing me for something like this. I've seen so many threads here over the years about hiding packages so hubby doesn't see, etc, so I realize my opinion is not a popular one in these forums.
Marriage is a partnership. One person should not be dictating to the other. and one person's wishes should not consistently over-ride the other. I realize that people are happy in all kinds of marriages, and that's fine for them. This is clearly JMO!
Your opinion is just fine with me...
Growing up, I watched the women in my family hide their purchases for years. There was sometimes quite a bit of humor to it, and a camaraderie among them, but it's nice to be able to 'savor the moment' without having to time it just right...
I guess I grew up differently. I never saw that or experienced it in any way. The need to hide just isn't humorous, IMO. I always thought marriage was about compromise and sharing, not about one person dominating the other.
I absolutely, completely understand wanting to savor the moment. That's big for me too.
But she said she wanted to gently ease them into her wardrobe undetected. She also said she was "busted". Yes, I understand her lighthearted tone, but she did use those words. And I don't understand how the fun of savoring the moment has been lost. For me, anticipation is part of the fun, too. She can wait to open them in private if she wants. Or open them right away and share her happiness with whoever is around at the time, even if it is her husband. The timing of the arrival of packages & whether my husband would be home or not is just not anything I can imagine being the slightest bit concerned about.
Not to over-analyze what the OP said was supposed to be an 'all in fun' thread... but I tend, essentially, to agree.
In speaking about the women in my family while I was growing up, the big difference is that none of them worked and the husbands were the sole bread winners... As such, and right or wrong, while certainly every purchase didn't have to be accounted for, approved or otherwise 'allowed' there were definite limits, and some of the ladies were under far more stringent guidelines than were others... It was a different time, and I think over the course of most of these essentially happy marriages, people evolved and things evened out. Sometimes it seemed like the 'secret' purchases were almost like a game they played among themselves...
11-01-2014 10:12 PM
11-01-2014 10:17 PM
11-01-2014 10:25 PM
11-01-2014 10:32 PM
I find that hubby's sometimes get JEALOUS.... cause QVC caters to so many women's items...we can buy clothes, shoes, night clothes, makeup, purses, etc..... I try and buy him something from some where....so he gets a package too...every once in a while.....
11-01-2014 10:36 PM
benzgirl
Not to worry. I totally got everything you said. I also got the humor in it. IMO there can be people who may lack a sense of humor, but take something meant lightly as a text from Psychology Today, and lecture on marriage! LOL! . I think someone who has a healthy relationship with their spouse is likely to share their "dilemma". I think someone who has a spending problem, issues with their spouse, would not be as likely to share, as it might be be shameful. JMHO.
11-01-2014 10:41 PM
On 11/1/2014 Kobechipper said: Hi Benzgirl ! I totally relate. I have been married 43 years and certainly don't need a lecture on what marriage is!! I know your post was meant in a light hearted spirit. I do the same thing. My hubbie does not understand "collecting" handbags but he knows that it is something I enjoy and he tries to understand it. These days the clothes aren't that exciting I'm retired so just dress more casually. Most shoes hurt my feet but handbags always work. I too prefer getting my package and like I tell my husband "I just want to be alone to look at this and see if I really want it"'! It is something special and being 62 you just need to feel that excitement because all too soon even that may be gone. It makes you feel young being that excited about something I guess and we need to hold on to that one child like thing as long as we can. Things areuch too serious normally anyway. So enjoy your purchases and lighten up people!
My husband doesn't get the handbag thing either. But he sure gets excited about motorcycle boots, and Harley and Indian bike parts LOL!
11-01-2014 10:50 PM
On 11/1/2014 sunshine3215 said:Sunshine...just a couple weeks ago I bought him the TSV Coleman lantern (which I KNOW he's going to love) as one of his Christmas gifts. He never gets left out.I find that hubby's sometimes get JEALOUS.... cause QVC caters to so many women's items...we can buy clothes, shoes, night clothes, makeup, purses, etc..... I try and buy him something from some where....so he gets a package too...every once in a while.....
11-01-2014 11:19 PM
On 11/1/2014 shoekitty said:On 11/1/2014 Kobechipper said: Hi Benzgirl ! I totally relate. I have been married 43 years and certainly don't need a lecture on what marriage is!! I know your post was meant in a light hearted spirit. I do the same thing. My hubbie does not understand "collecting" handbags but he knows that it is something I enjoy and he tries to understand it. These days the clothes aren't that exciting I'm retired so just dress more casually. Most shoes hurt my feet but handbags always work. I too prefer getting my package and like I tell my husband "I just want to be alone to look at this and see if I really want it"'! It is something special and being 62 you just need to feel that excitement because all too soon even that may be gone. It makes you feel young being that excited about something I guess and we need to hold on to that one child like thing as long as we can. Things areuch too serious normally anyway. So enjoy your purchases and lighten up people!
My husband doesn't get the handbag thing either. But he sure gets excited about motorcycle boots, and Harley and Indian bike parts LOL!
Sounds like my DH, shoekitty!
11-01-2014 11:37 PM
My 2 bags come on Monday my husband's day off and I am already imagining what his comments are going to be. The handbags I own that are non GILI brand are leather typical looking bags. Nothing showy or out of the ordinary. When the Roma 2 Tote came out I ordered 3, one of them being the natural ostrich. When he saw the ostrich he said "OMG!! That looks like a dinosaur!!!" I said well I guess ostrich can sort of be considered a dinosaur. He said "That thing is made out of ostrich?!!" Wish you could have seen the look on his face! I said it was leather made to look like ostrich. He likes my black and blush one better. On Monday I"ll be getting the croc and cream snake. I'm sure you all can imagine what his expression will be like. These type of exotic looking bags are out the ordinary for me and I'm sure he will think that I've lost my mind.
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