Frequent Contributor
Posts: 111
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Once again this year, I've had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes.  (Made mine this morning!!!)

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. Baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn of the mixerer thingy. Break in 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to COUNT it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the Vodka. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the
bowl through the window. Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.
Hope you all have a chuckle with this.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,351
Registered: ‎06-06-2019

I was reading to copy a good cake recipe LOL.  Instead I got a good laugh!  Too cute.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 129
Registered: ‎07-29-2012

I’m in for this.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 150
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Thanks for this--I laughed aloud several times.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,440
Registered: ‎02-27-2012



Thank you!  I seriously have tears in my eyes!


I think I have seen a similar one with Rum...but this one was even funnier!


I am copying it down!

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 111
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I'm glad that I was able to make you all laugh.  I do have a great sense of humor and quick wit, and I do enjoy cooking.


When I was growing up a few family friends suggested that I go to cooking school, since I started cooking for my family since I was in 3rd grade.  Well, that wouldn't work for me, cause at times, I fussy about eating things, I have no issue making foods I won't eat, but I'm not open to trying some foods .. lol 


  When I got older, some friends said I should consider stand up comedy.  No, that wouldn't work for me either, I'm more of a shy type of person ..... but I think I found a happy middle .... I'm just a funny cookWoman Very HappyWoman Very Happy

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,704
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Loved it!