Sadness at this time of year - Page 4

GusMo · ‎07-11-2012

What a nice thread. This is the first year in 27 years I have not spent Christmas with my sister and her family. (Couldn't get time off) I am single with no children. I had some very, very sad days this week, but pretended to be fine and happy. I think many people forget how many lonely, sad people there are at Christmas. I get invitations that are worded to come over if I want. They don't feel sincere. I just want to be wanted. Guess I'm not done being sad.

Mustang Shar · ‎03-24-2010

On 12/25/2014 Yumagirl said: What a nice thread. This is the first year in 27 years I have not spent Christmas with my sister and her family. (Couldn't get time off) I am single with no children. I had some very, very sad days this week, but pretended to be fine and happy. I think many people forget how many lonely, sad people there are at Christmas. I get invitations that are worded to come over if I want. They don't feel sincere. I just want to be wanted. Guess I'm not done being sad.

Yumagirl, be our forum this Holiday! Hugs.

Catbelly · ‎03-12-2010

This is a great thread. There is always so much pressure not only "this time of year" but sometimes any holiday. So much emphasis is put on family and togetherness, and when you look at reality - does this even pertain to the majority? Joy, peace and all that good stuff begins in your own heart and shines forth. Between Hallmark, commercials and general commercialism, there is so much pressure on making merry and togetherness, most times at our expense.

My mom died 8 years ago and prior to that the holidays were stressful - for many years leading to her death she used them to act out for the attention, many times at my expense. It would end up the same - her crying and it was my fault. Until one of her last Christmas' where she "tripped" over my legs when i was on the floor playing with my nieces/nephew. She started screaming I tripped her - problem was my husband, the kids and my dad saw her stage it and called her on it which made matters worse. So much for happy memories - but yes, there were many growing up. While we remember her with kindness, the past 8 Christmases have been effortless without wondering when the crying and screaming would start. I'm fortunate that we all live in the same area and can celebrate together.

Think too of our military who are stuck in the desert fighting to keep us safe - far from family and loved ones.

And tomorrow it all goes back to "normal" and the Valentine's stuff comes out.

ChancesMom · ‎10-18-2010

I think the marketing at Christmas-i.e., commercials of happy families together-leads us all to believe that everyone is happy at Christmas but us. Unfortunately, reality is much different - many families are together "out of obligation" and a lot of people are alone. It is only my DH and I at Christmas. I will be seeing my Dad and brother over the weekend. I try to think realistically. I do want to do more volunteer work in the future to help others - not only at Christmas but all year.

GusMo · ‎07-11-2012

On 12/25/2014 Mustangshar said:
On 12/25/2014 Yumagirl said: What a nice thread. This is the first year in 27 years I have not spent Christmas with my sister and her family. (Couldn't get time off) I am single with no children. I had some very, very sad days this week, but pretended to be fine and happy. I think many people forget how many lonely, sad people there are at Christmas. I get invitations that are worded to come over if I want. They don't feel sincere. I just want to be wanted. Guess I'm not done being sad.

Yumagirl, be our forum this Holiday! Hugs.

Thank you.

Cookie2025 · ‎03-10-2010

My Son and his Very Dear Girlfriend just left, along with a long-time Family friend. We just had an enjoyable dinner of lasagna, bread, ect. and a lot of laughs.

This Christmas I did not ask my Family over for dinner as I have done for many years. My Mother has had an issue with the Holidays since before I was born...I have NO MEMORIES of her ever being happy as a child and the Holidays brought out the worse in her. I could not wait to get back to school during winter break. It was BAD.

Each year I will tell her I am having dinner and if she and my Dad and Brothers want to met at my Home at a given time. They are always late and my Mother ALWAYS forgets to tell my Dad - yep. Then she seems out of sorts, miserable, disoriented - hard to explain.

I fell 11 days ago and my eyes are both bruised, the right side of face is bruised and the worse is my forehead - I have a huge contusion which is slowly coming down. I just did not feel up to hearing her turn my injury into her 'drama' so I never said anything to my Family about Christmas dinner.

I felt so good not to have to see her looking miserable and forced into coming here. I feel good not having to listen to an ongoing discussion about my fall. I know my Son would like to see her - AND MY DAD (his Grandfather) too - but the excuses for his absence have lost credibility.

If it where not for everyone posting about their Holiday misery I would probably continue to ask her come her and make herself miserable when she can be home, relaxed and 'coast' through these Holidays.

Thanks for taking time to post - it has helped me enormously in understanding her better.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

Throughout the day today, I have been texting a friend of mine who is spending her first Christmas all alone, after losing her elderly mom over the summer. My friend had many invitations today, but chose to stay home and relive the memories of Christmases past. She said she had done well though; much sadness, but no tears. I was relieved she wasn't sitting in the cemetery and bawling, as she has done several times. My heart goes out to her, as she is so lost, but am grateful she has friends who reach out to her every day and let her know they care, and are there for her.

bluejeansluvr · ‎03-09-2010

Hi everyone. It is today when we miss our lost loved ones the most isn't it? I guess all year we do but holidays, seem to really be lonely without them! I have a favorite picture of myself and my dad when I was a child, and I have a favorite ornament from my childhood, that I always put on the tree, that reminds me of him. I put these things out at Christmas and it feels (almost) like he is there with me. My father was one of those "life of the party" people. When he came in a room, you knew it. He had a lot of friends and our family loved him. Holidays are not the same without him. If someone came in the door with a santa hat on, you could bet it was him.

Hugs to all here who are finding this day tough. I have a little plaque that says "choose Happy". And you really have to, sometimes you have to choose to be happy on some days when you are very sad. Hugs to you ladies, I am sorry for your losses and hurts. We all have them in some way or another. It never gets easier and you never get over it, you just have to choose to get through it.

godi · ‎03-09-2010

I am totally blown away by all the responses here, between the words of wisdom and good advice and the wonderful quotes, it has helped me so much. I am so saddened to see all the pain here also, I hope the kind words have helped you in same way. I am glad for this thread, I have learned a lot here, I am stronger because of the kindness all of you have shown. I remember a line from the Grinch what if Christmas doesn't come from a store what if Christmas means a little bit more. Thank you all for helping all the people on here today. God Bless and Happy New Year.

MargieRJ · ‎01-08-2014

Thanks so much for this thread. I am home alone this Christmas, as I have been for many holidays. Both of my parents have now passed on, I'm an only child and many of my relatives are scattered about the country. The ones that live close by haven't bothered to call or write me in years.

My dad passed days before Christmas years ago. My mom had her first major heart attack during this season too, so it hasn't been a happy time for me or my family for a long time. For many years I spent holidays in a hospital with one parent or another.

Whenever friends at work ask how my holidays have been I usually say "nice and quiet" and let it stay at that. There's nothing to tell, other than that.