Sadness at this time of year

godi · ‎03-09-2010

I know this is recipe swap, please don't yell at me for posting here. I just want those of you that are hurting, lonely, missing a loved one to know you are not alone. I know this season is hard, we are out here with you!! I wish I could make your pain go away. I too am alone and missing loved ones. I have found a lot of great recipes on this site and really no negativity, thank you recipe swap for that. To all I wish you a Happy Holiday and enjoy what you have even if they drive you crazy, and if you know someone on your block that is alone send them over a card and a piece of cake. Believe me it DOES make a huge difference in their life. I hope I did not bum anyone out, I just needed others to know you are not alone!

Cookie777 · ‎09-11-2011

Merry Christmas to you! Take care

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

I think it is wonderful that the OP thinks of others this time of year. It is good to think of others all year long.

There are a lot of people who are sad this time of year. I have friends who are having a very difficult time right now (people suffering emotional problems).

It's not like they can have a Dr operate or give a pill. The road to wellness will take (if they are lucky and can get help) a lifetime.

We all know or have known people in our lives who feel emotional pain more than others. If we could, we'd take some of their pain. Unfortunately, we can't.

What we can do is be there for them. We can spend time with them. We can listen when they confide they are spent from caring for their loved one. We can make sure we don't judge them (judge not, lest ye be judged).

So, thanks to the OP for reminding all of us that we can always do something to help others and to remember people who are going through a difficult time. Take the friend to lunch or dinnner and just sit and listen.

That's what I do. I feel so selfish when I do this because the joy it gives me from helping a friend seems so selfish. We are all so lucky in this country, that we are able to express our love openly by a hug to each other no matter what. Never take it for granted.

Irish1210 · ‎06-30-2014

We all benefit when we think of and support others.........Thanks for the reminder.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

Irish, you said it much better than I did. I agree.

Beebee2 · ‎03-09-2010

That's a very nice post, digo, and especially appropriate for the season, as well as the rest of the year. I hope yours is a blessed holiday, and the same for others who may be alone this year.

IControlMyHappiness · ‎01-21-2012

I would like to do volunteer work at a local ASPCA. Just my tips for those home alone tomorrow, (as I have been home alone many Xmas days).

1 - Don't watch Xmas stories or Walton's Xmas, Andy Griffith Xmas, Hallmark Xmas movies...for me.... those shows made me feel more alone. The emotional family stories are not good on days like Xmas and Thanksgiving when one is home alone.

1+ - Don't watch anything that will make you feel sad, don't keep rethinking about the PAST, when you had a houseful of people, when those thoughts come and make you feel sad or down, start and think of something else.

2 - Since tomorrow is a weekday, all the talk shows etc, Investigation Discovery shows, etc will all be on TV, Charles Angels, Starsky and Hutch, etc. watch action packed shows.

3 - Stay on line, reading message boards, watch you tube videos (sometimes listening to people talking in videos helps take your mind off the day), play online games, keep busy.

4 - The MAIN thing, understand it is just one day, I'm not saying don't know the reason for the season, but I had to TELL myself, you can do it, this is one day, you can make it.

5 - Don't wake up super early, walk around the block, take your music and just stay busy.

MalteseMomma · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you digo.While I am not alone, I wish my family understood my sadness and I did not have to take a deep breath and put on my happy face for everyone. .

I lost my both my father, dh and son a day before Thanksgiving ( not recently and all different yrs) and every year the holiday season gets harder for me to put on that smiley face,go to dinner,stay all day ,trying to force smiles.

I do decorate my house with lights,I have a tree with all the trimmings and it looks especially pretty this yr. It's not that I'm depressed ,I just would rather stay home quietly than sit all day drinking, gabbing and waiting for a 5pm dinner, so then I can leave.I'd rather cuddle up with my dog,and watch a great movie,or even go for a nice long quiet walk outside .

No one really understands. I even miss my mom ,and sister and all of my DH family too. I'm about the only one left in both families and darn it I miss them all !!!! Aunts and Uncles included. We had huge wonderful Christmases together.

I have 4 great adult kids and 14 grandkids I love dearly and they are all so happy,carrying on our traditions and I feel like such a Debbie Downer during Christmas time. I wish I could just stay home and quietly pass the day with just me and my dog.But I am expected to go and stay for hours,looking at my watch the whole time,how can I possibly feel so alone in such a crowd?

The older I get the worse it gets.I start dreading it in October.I'm not lonely, just sad,and I just want to be alone.I realize it is only 1 day and Christmas comes and goes in a flurry and I really,really try .

I used to volunteer in the hospital and soup kitchens,I delivered toys to needy kids, I sung in the Choir at midnite and again Christmas morning,We did concerts all throughout Dec and it was a big help, but I'm old now and wishing I could just stay home and someone would deliver me dinner..........lol

Thanks for letting me acknowledge it here.

Edited to add:

I guess my mom and Dad must have felt the same way I feel now and to tell the truth,except for the first yr my dad died and I felt sorry for my mom,I guess I never thought about it much! sorry mom,now I understand!

DiAnne · ‎09-22-2010

I think doing things for others really helps. My family lives in another state and we are not always able to get together for holidays. I regularly volunteer two shifts a week at the local food bank. I had several women that I knew were alone last week for a dinner at my house. I always decorate the house for Christmas on Thanksgiving week end. I make sure I have a good book and something I love to eat (even if it is not healthy). It is only one day and everyone can get through one day!

ivey · ‎03-10-2010

For me, mulling back to the good times when we were younger, and more people were alive, etc. is not good for me. I've realized that, so I only do it for a minute. I will NOT talk old times with someone who wants to for very long. It's not to say you can't do it--it just doesn't help me. Too many loved ones are gone and Christmas is very different.

I try to find a happy movie on tv, rent one, be around current friends. It works better for me.