Q Talk

[Goldengate8361]

@Foxxee  I totally agree with you, too. I am sometimes just annoyed when some posters misrepresent your post....and seem intent on picking a fight with you. I know to just ignore them, but they sometimes even then complain that you haven't responded to them (LOL). I am fearless; I can handle anything, so its not a big deal.....I still enjoy the forum.

[jonbon]

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

What I have witnessed in this thread is not oversensitivity but quite the opposite--a lack of sensitivity hiding behind the guise of "differing opinions." 

Insensitive people don't think before they speak. They say rude things because they lack feeling and tact. They don't care who they hurt with their words. They think they have the right to be rude and insulting because, after all, it's just their opinion or, better yet, "the truth," (aka their truth, lol).

Confident people and those with good self-esteem don't lack sensitivity nor do they feel the need to verbalize aloud their every thought. They're confident enough in themselves not to have to try to rally a bandwagon behind them as backup.

The cry of oversensitivity is often nothing more than a buzz word used when trying to make an excuse for bad behavior--something we see all too often on these boards.

Rather than oversensitivity, or displaying of lack of of it, perhaps practicing some plain old sensitivity in the way we treat others might be a nice way to go. 

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Hear! Hear! I agree 100%. My favorite is the old "I just tell it like it is" as an excuse for expressing something rudely.

[bestday]

Facebook (not on anymore) was the worst. I got so I wouldn't post my feelings - not because of fear exactly, although a couple of people did make comments about where I lived & employment which kind of spooked me, but I just didn't want to deal with the aggravation of having to respond & defend my comment. I have noticed it happening to a smaller extent on here, but still I enjoy this forum & am glad I found it.

[CalminHeart]

One has to have thick skin to post on any forum or social media. 

Don't read more into a post than is there. One may think it's nasty when it really isn't. Some people write in a very direct manner. Others mush it up. Different opinions, likes, dislikes, viewpoints, are not nasty. 

If someone is looking for all people to agree, they should find a private site where everyone thinks the same instead of a public forum or social media.  

Don't let some anonymous poster bother you. You can't control them but you can control your reaction.  

[Spurt]

@Foxxee @CalminHeart 

I totally agree with you---rainbows and unicorns where everyone agrees is just not part of social media....

One thing I find rather curious some people get very upset over host comments but then rip into the author of the post in an even nastier and meaner way.....this is also part of the rules--.

• Personal attacks are not allowed - Don't attack or insult another Community member. It's not helpful and it doesn't make for a friendly place. This includes calling other members names. Disagreement is no excuse for poor manners and we will not allow frustration to turn into a personal attack.

My advice is a thread topic upsets you---skip the thread.......move on to something more to your liking there's plenty of things to comment on...the Mods take care of the really bad comments...

[Effie54]

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@MG Chris wrote:

It's not just here. It is people in general. I posted to a thread in a 50’s dating group on FB, and a couple of hours later, people had looked me up online, and we were calling me on my phone. All because they disagreed with my comment. I was amazed at how far some people will go. 

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That's awful! What an invasion of privacy. Wow....

[manny2]

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

What I have witnessed in this thread is not oversensitivity but quite the opposite--a lack of sensitivity hiding behind the guise of "differing opinions." 

Insensitive people don't think before they speak. They say rude things because they lack feeling and tact. They don't care who they hurt with their words. They think they have the right to be rude and insulting because, after all, it's just their opinion or, better yet, "the truth," (aka their truth, lol).

Confident people and those with good self-esteem don't lack sensitivity nor do they feel the need to verbalize aloud their every thought. They're confident enough in themselves not to have to try to rally a bandwagon behind them as backup.

The cry of oversensitivity is often nothing more than a buzz word used when trying to make an excuse for bad behavior--something we see all too often on these boards.

Rather than oversensitivity, or displaying of lack of of it, perhaps practicing some plain old sensitivity in the way we treat others might be a nice way to go. 

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@SusieQ_2 I agree! I think your post is right on target. Bravo!!!!

[CalminHeart]

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@bestday wrote:

Facebook (not on anymore) was the worst. I got so I wouldn't post my feelings - not because of fear exactly, although a couple of people did make comments about where I lived & employment which kind of spooked me, but I just didn't want to deal with the aggravation of having to respond & defend my comment. I have noticed it happening to a smaller extent on here, but still I enjoy this forum & am glad I found it.

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Security settings on FB will let you block your personal info from being viewed by others.

[violann]

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@bestday wrote:

Facebook (not on anymore) was the worst. I got so I wouldn't post my feelings - not because of fear exactly, although a couple of people did make comments about where I lived & employment which kind of spooked me, but I just didn't want to deal with the aggravation of having to respond & defend my comment. I have noticed it happening to a smaller extent on here, but still I enjoy this forum & am glad I found it.

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Good for you! I sometimes think that the controversy is stoked by social media for no other reason than for selling stuff.

When the controversial stuff was conveyed by newspaper and then by radio, you'd read it and hear it and discuss it with whoever was home, and somebody in the family would say "You know, you may be right!" or "Cut out that stupid crazy talk. Next thing you know somebody from the plant will find out you felt that way and you'll lose your job".

My greatest concern today is that the fringe of ANY OVERWROUGHT OPINION can connect so quickly with similarly convinced others, then act on their personal thoughts before social sanctions like family can reorient them to consider a different course.

A sorry situation really, for all of us. We can ALL do a little bit better.....

[Pook]

Being confident is not about stating anything that comes to mind no matter how rude (and we all have those types of thoughts) and then being offended because others  call you out for your offensive post!  Confidence is observing someone posting or even saying something rude and offensive and being able to respond that that comment was  not merely an opinion but a very rude remark.  Allowing someone to keep making nasty and rude comments is condoning bad behavior!  I do think, though, that some may not even realize that is what they are doing when they post.  While the comment or criticisms might be ok speaking with a friend or a thought you have (and we all have  derogatory thoughts) - no reason to say or post it publicly except to be rude or nasty!