Q Talk

[dooBdoo]

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@BirkiLady wrote:

@dooBdoo  "Turn off suggesions" had now been done. Who knew? Thanks! Perhaps I'll begin asking questions and sharing stuff. Not sure I'm that gutsy.  At least I'll have a clue how to begin. LOL 

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Excellent!   You're welcome, @BirkiLady!😊

[NYC Susan]

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@NicksmomESQ wrote:

   I think the right thing to do if you start a thread is to check in & acknowledge the comments by atleast hearting the posts.I agree that if people take time to respond to you the least you could do is show some consideration.

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I agree.  It's nice to acknowledge each poster by either replying or hearting, but if that's not possible, at least one post with a general thank-you to everyone would be good. 

If the thread isn't about anything personal, then an update would be nice.  If it is personal and the OP doesn't want to provide an update, that's okay.  But I do think that thanking people who took the time to post is appropriate - even if it's just "Thanks to everyone who posted.  I really appreciate it."  IMO that's really the least that should be done.  

[NYC Susan]

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@Shanus wrote:

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@PA Mom-mom wrote:

@Shanus I can't imagine why you woud post a question or opinion without reading and commenting on some of the answers. I always feel badly, because I usually post at night and then go to bed shortly thereafter. I try to get back to the thread as early as I can after work the next day. I try to heart every reply, unless of course the repy isn't appropriate.

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@PA Mom-mom  I don’t understand either. I’m sure even waiting a week or two is OK, but some OPs disappear into cyper nowhere and never check back. There are many unread, unanswered replies.

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Yes, it doesn't matter if the OP doesn't reply right away..  I think pretty much all of us have other things going on in our lives, and so I would never expect any immediate kind of reply.  But there have been many OP's who just disappear - They vent about a problem, ask for advice, or whatever, and then never come back.  Re-appearing weeks later would be fine with me.  It's never coming back that's a little frustrating for posters who put time and thought into trying to be helpful.

[NYC Susan]

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@MJDinVegas wrote:

@Could it be that some folks don’t know to add the @ to a username to post a reply?  Not necessarily ignoring anyone but not sure how to reply a specific poster.  Just trying to think of why it may not work how we wish.  Took me a while to learn 😯

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@There are posters who don't know how to do that (either use @ or the quote function), but they manage to communicate on their own threads anyway.  There's no reason why someone can't post a reply on their own thread either to continue the conversation or to say thank you.  It's not necessary to use @ or the quote function.  I understand what you're saying, but I don't think it explains why some OP's disappear.

I see posters kind of messing up, and not replying in the way they think they are.  But what they write still appears, and would still be seen by people following the thread.

[NYC Susan]

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@San Antonio Gal wrote:

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@Peaches McPhee wrote:

Pls don't do this, unless you have more significant info to share.  Thanking and acknowledging just gums the thread up.

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@Peaches McPheeand all other posters :  I have thanked responses in one invidiual post such as "Thank you ladies for all your replies".  I have not thanked each post individually.  I just heart each response.   However, I was not aware that thanking posters "gums the thread up".

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It doesn't gum the thread up.  It keeps things civil and nice.  We're people here, not machines, and I see nothing wrong with thanking each other.  With all of the snarkiness that posters often complain about and all the hand-wringing about the younger generation having no manners,, it surprises me that anyone would find fault with a perfectly appropriate "thank you".

[NYC Susan]

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@Sooner wrote:

I think the OP should not post teaser thread titles.  To be kind to everyone, post a title about what the thread really is about so if people don't have a lot of time they won't waste it opening threads they aren't interested in.

It's the kind thing to do.  

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I agree.  The purpose of having a title is so we'll know what it's about.  Thread titles that are deliberately misleading or intended to be "cute" are annoying, IMO.  Cute is fine within the thread, but the title shouldn't be a guessing game.

[Shanus]

I do understand the necessity for rules, etiquette (or netiquette), why we heart, or reply to @ ...... with a more personal reply. Is it necessary to have a standard regarding thank yous? How many may be too many? 

IMO, thanking someone or giving a heart is each poster’s personal preference or style. Let’s not put someone down for clogging up threads or saying it’s “overkill” for being too attentive or polite. It’s a dying trait as it is. 

[Shanus]

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@x Hedge wrote:

@dooBdoo

I think most of us (including me) breach netiquette at times, and the infractions are usually small and easily overlooked.

Something akin to propping your elbow on the dining table as you eat, while you have company.

The meal goes on, undisturbed.

But imagine removing your shoes and propping your bare feet up on the dining table while your company is eating.

I know some people no longer post here because of repeated 'foot in your face' type of netiquette infractions by just a very few posters.

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@x Hedge  I would hope those folks would need a better reason to leave a forum. Maybe they just wanted to leave. One or two breaches of netiquette, especially by just a few,  doesn’t usually chase someone away, IMO. 

[Drythe]

 I see it as pretty much a personal choice.

I generally heart people who respond to me.  I do not feel it necessary to write a personal thank you to everyone who responds.  If  someone makes a specific remark to me or asks me a question, of course I respond.

Two examples:

1 - I was critically ill for @ 3 months and thanked everyone individually who sent me well wishes.  I see those  personal notes of thoughtfulness about a specific personal issue.

A few months ago I posted about the death of a cat who was my Secret Keeper, and about whom I still cry several times a day.  I received so many thoughtful personal notes, I will never forget the kindness.  Again, they were personal notes of sympathy specific to my personal loss and I answered them all.

2 - If I started a thread 'How long has it been since you went to the beach?'  Or 'Do you wear mascara?'

I see threads like these as general questions of a non personal nature and think of the responses as general conversation. I don't feel the need to reply with an individual thanks, although I sometimes heart responses.

As I read through non personal threads, while the individual responses are of  interest, the individual thank you notes are specific to one person.  So, reading through a post with lots of replies and thank you notes gets a bit cumbersome.

Crawling down off the soapbox and going night-night now.

Best to all.

[suzyQ3]

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@Shanus wrote:

@I do understand the necessity for rules, etiquette (or netiquette), why we heart, or reply to @ ...... with a more personal reply. Is it necessary to have a standard regarding thank yous? How many may be too many? 

IMO, thanking someone or giving a heart is each poster’s personal preference or style. Let’s not put someone down for clogging up threads or saying it’s “overkill” for being too attentive or polite. It’s a dying trait as it is. 

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@Shanus, suggesting that thanking each and every post on a thread is putting anyone down is no more factual than wondering the reason that some posters never return to their thread. We're all just talking about what we prefer on a message board. Obviously, people will do what they want regardless.