Q Talk

[NYCLatinaMe]

@BalletBabe, your sister may be suffering from depression.  Nothing to do with age, or dementia.  Maybe you van get her to see a doctor.

[BalletBabe]

---

@NYCLatinaMe wrote:

@BalletBabe, your sister may be suffering from depression.  Nothing to do with age, or dementia.  Maybe you van get her to see a doctor.

She has been under a Dr. care.   She is just obsessed with qvc and she is also a intravert.  so she orders chairs and everything.   I live no where near her but her kids cannot get her to stop. Thanks for caring.

---

[sipp]

Not paying her taxes is NOT an option unless you want her on the street-  If possible get POA- if not- you have to sit down with her and hope she listens to you. (which seems unlikely) My Mom was competent- I found she hid things she had purchased- it was her money after all so all I could do was try to reason with her (and sometimes get her to return stuff) but now QVC charges return costs so thats a bummer. You should also make it a point to get a co-ownership on her house- it's a 5 year "look-back" if she should have to go to a nursing home if she fell seriously ill and you couldn't take care of her- Nursing homes take EVERYTHING -any bank accounts---savings, cds, they'd make you sell a car if she had one- and of course her house... THE "Look back" period was for when medicaid would kick in- they really take most of what you have-- but they can't take the house if it's in both your names with a life interest for her (meaning she can live there until she dies -( you can't make her move out) unless there was a serious medical reason. Explaining that to her would be done by the lawyer that sets it up- so she will know she always can stay- that you're not "stealing" her house from her. If she's truly competent but a spend-thrift- there's not much you can do. It's really a sign of loneliness- she probably greets the ups guy at the door (like my Mom used to do-- and mine WAS competent- could balance her checkbook just fine) ---and BTW ANYONE can fall into the trap of buying buying buying- not just the elderly. A LOT of it really is loneliness. I lived 5 minutes from my Mom- after my Dad died and her sister who lived with them died- Myself, my husband and my kids always went there to do yard work or groceries etc. but i didn't realize she needed more- It was lonely to eat alone, to go to bed and get up with no one to talk to  - it was lonely to spend the whole day with nothing to do but watch tv. I never realized it until she had passed away- how lonely she really was even when we DID go there often- we weren't there 24/7 - it wasn't like having another person living with her and  even so she wanted to be in her own home..

[sipp]

Probably so she doesn't end up on the street? Enabling is a pretty harsh term-the woman needs help for sure- but legal means need to be taken.

[LisaBeth18]

---

@Kachina624 wrote:

@RileyCat.   I'm afraid there are many people who have the problem your mom has, for the same reason.  Have you suggested other activities like a senior center which might have fun things to do to keep her busy?

We have wonderful monitors here on the boards that help with all sorts of prickly problems.  Why don't you message them privately and ask what the Q's policy is in such cases?

QVCSocialTeam@QVC.com

---

Excellent advice. If QVC is at fault, then, every mall, every shopping center, every store is at fault. The underlying issues are often boredom or depression for many people and how they deal with boredom and depression. For some, they eat. For others, they shop, I used to be an obsessive shopper until I found a more deeply satisfying hobby, which is reading. 

[aggravated]

So sorry for your trouble.  I had a close friend with this identical issue and the Q was not helpful.  A very long, long process and I believe in the end my friend had to have her mother declared not competent to take care of her own affairs and completely take over paying all of her mom's bills.  It was sad.  Friend heartbroken the last year the entire family received Xmas gifts in QVC boxes that she knew her mother could not afford.

[Fran009]

Wow, that is a problem.  Still, it's not QVC's fault or any TV or online shopping center.  If she was my mother I'd tell her straight out I'm going to get a lawyer and get control of her finances, credit card.  She's obviously not responsible anymore.  

[Jannyg]

It's probably time to see an attorney and get POA.  That way you can have some control over how the money is spent.  This is not QVC's problem.  It's not easy but it's probably the safest solution to guarantee that she doesn't end up bankrupted.  It's only going to get worse.