help with new cat

kittyloo · ‎03-11-2010

hello all, this is the situation. several months ago, we lost our beloved tubs. kiki our russian blue, missed him greatly. they were always playing, and "boxing" with each other. So with tubs gone, we decided to get her another friend.

Enter "buddy" oh so sweet male rescue cat. kiki hates him. i think its because she wants to be the aggressor, and chase him, but he likes to sneak up on her instead, and she DOES NOT like it.

we also think that perhaps our dear buddy is "simple minded". i caught kiki last week in my dressing room, and she was in "spraying" position. this morning i see that she has "marked/peed on my overnite bag i was planning on using this weekend, and i can see evidence of the trail from where she began her mark.

both cats are spayed/neutered, i don't know what to do.

buddy has been with us now probably at least 2 months, and he is a wonderful, affectionate boy. anyone have any experience/ advice for me? thanks.

halfpint1 · ‎03-10-2010

I wish I could help you. My cat who picked me out -Is thought she would like a playmate. So a couple of years later I went to a shelter and adopted Sandy. Bootsie likes to chase her and Sandy walks slowly in the den looking all over. I heard later I should of gotten a male. Also Sandy likes to get out but I have taught her the word NO so it is a little easier. Sorry about your loss.

ValuSkr · ‎03-15-2014

It's a shame that Kiki hasn't taken a liking to Buddy. But what do you mean by Buddy being simple-minded? Does he have a one-track mind despite having been neutered?

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

Did you keep the two cats separate when you first brought Buddy home? And then did you slowly introduce them over time? Sometimes cats won’t take to each other immediately, especially if you’re bringing in a new car into another’s home territory. Over time though, if they can get used to each other’s scent and presence without having to interact, they will learn to accept each other. I think Kiki feels threatened by the newcomer could be the reason she started spraying.

kittyloo · ‎03-11-2010

@geezerette wrote:
Did you keep the two cats separate when you first brought Buddy home? And then did you slowly introduce them over time? Sometimes cats won’t take to each other immediately, especially if you’re bringing in a new car into another’s home territory. Over time though, if they can get used to each other’s scent and presence without having to interact, they will learn to accept each other. I think Kiki feels threatened by the newcomer could be the reason she started spraying.

yes, did all those things. kept them separated slowly. buddy has been sooooo good giving kiki her space too. the funny thing is last year, kiki was the new cat. and tubs hated her. she just wanted to play so bad. tubby was the aloof superior one. she tried everything to get him to play with her, finally finally i don't remember if it started with a chest bump or a paw to the head, but it was on. they really became good mates. so we thought that kiki would understand about the new cat wanting to play. nope. sigh

kittyloo · ‎03-11-2010

@ValuSkr wrote:
It's a shame that Kiki hasn't taken a liking to Buddy. But what do you mean by Buddy being simple-minded? Does he have a one-track mind despite having been neutered?

i say that because buddy is overly super affectionate. he's a ear sucker. (ugh, not on me) and kiki acts superior. dh and myself just can't figure out why she would not warm up when he is clearly trying to be nice to her, and give her space. so maybe she thinks he is simple. IDK

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

@kittyloo

IMO, she feels threatened, so she is defending her turf.

If you have Feliway, you should use that around the house to diffuse the situation. She needs lots of play and one on one time to bring out her inner kitty confidence. She would probably like some "high" places where she can survey her kingdom while she sizes Buddy up. In the meantime, make sure that you have enough litterboxes, and she might like her own. My girl kitty sprayed until we got Cat Attract litter, and we haven't had any problems. My boy cat likes to chase her around (playing) but she doesn't always enjoy it. They have three litterboxes (the number of kitties + 1).

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

@lolakimono wrote:
@kittyloo
IMO, she feels threatened, so she is defending her turf.
If you have Feliway, you should use that around the house to diffuse the situation. She needs lots of play and one on one time to bring out her inner kitty confidence. She would probably like some "high" places where she can survey her kingdom while she sizes Buddy up. In the meantime, make sure that you have enough litterboxes, and she might like her own. My girl kitty sprayed until we got Cat Attract litter, and we haven't had any problems. My boy cat likes to chase her around (playing) but she doesn't always enjoy it. They have three litterboxes (the number of kitties + 1).

My older cat still refuses to use the same litter boxes as the new arrival, who came four months ago. He has his own that the other cat can’t get to.

photodreamr · ‎10-31-2010

It looks like what I have had to deal with. The little brother big sister issue. I have a male cat (Kenny) that likes to push one of my femaie's buttons (jordan). But I have caught Jordan doing the same to Kenny.

I have introduced the two a couple of times and each time the stress is less. I have introduces group play time where both gets to play together and get to know each other under good conditions

Sometimeis is territorial. They need to have a spaceof their own or know that thier safe space is protected for them only. That is where you as top cat can help reinforce their safe space. Kenny ha sone room and Jordan has a room further away from Kenny. I used to baby gat them in thei safe sapce and then play with each of the separately in their space. And when I saw them go into thei safe space I kept the other one out. After a while they learned.

I hope some of this helps. I have 7 cats and all get along with only some hissing every so often.