Sending gentle hugs your way, beauty 'j'.....I'll take the good news from you first. It is so sweet of you to let me/ us to know that you actually were able to speak with your mom and knowing she was in a real life state of mindset. How glad for both of you to have had this blessed opportunity. Can not tell you how grateful that "I" am to hear this. Alzheimers' patients do drift in and then drift out...sometimes they stay as you said lucid for a long time. I knew of a good friend (husband's friend from employment) whose wife had Alz. for over 7+ years and had flare ups for a few months and then totally was another person-(to the family), then came back very strong. I had several conversations with her throughout this entire health episode. Her husband (mid 60s- (she lower 60s) went for over 12+ years staying at home with little supervision (while husband was at work). He took full responsilbilty of her needs. She did not become {off} until she was i am guessing until she was in her mid 70s and then she came back then was not there. How he managed in the end (9 months) was to actually be 100% caregiver, she dying at around 76 and he at 84. I, along with my husband went to the funeral. My husband called Ralph almost every 4 days then he would call my husband for -just to talk-. It was something he claimed to be his goal and did it. Not everyone can handle a simple asthma attack case for their spouse or s/o. I applaud your sister!
....do want to tell Beastielove and Tissyanne that they have been more than a comfort. I am always astonished how how many truly do try to help each other when it is a pet's death, disease or death, and especially when the PL's family becomes very ill -we all have an achor to hold us steadfast to a degree w/o knowing that loved family member. Understanding that this is more for the pets than humans...still I regonize the compassion that hits home.
Do I still think of Cream? Yes, every day. My husband brought up the subject again last week ..wondering if maybe a wild animal had wounded him or if he lay on a road dying hit by a car. He totally broke down. I became very hot all over and started to become so emotional thinking someone took him then hurt him. My frustration grew in to anger as I rehashed the entire long months completely over & over. This is not healthy. I was told and I believe this person...not to dwell on the death or disappearance but instead remember all of the real live fun times. It had taken me over 5 years to get to the place when I could listen to music when my mother died. A parent, a spouse, a sibling does not come near to losing a pet. (PLEASE do not belittle me for saying that), because I do UNDERSTAND a 'PET' is the same as a beloved human death if loved and have no one else. I have cried, become physically ill over all of my pets but Cream's being gone with no closure was torture. IF one has CLOSURE to anything we love -be that a pet or beloved family or even a devoted friend, then we know he, she, cat, dog died when we somewhat expected. CLOSURE is the key word in losing and how it comes to an end.
I have said that what you have been through from Buddie to mother-in-law to your health issues -back & forth- sister's surgery, husband's illnesses, then your beloved brother being totally without feeling in all 4 limbs, dying the way of water in his kungs, a fractured cervical neck & sections of his back discs, developing sepsis of the blood, then pneumonia, your hives from the stress, no one to help you, mother being uprooted from her long lived homedstead, your unbelievable pain of lups, fibromyalgia, infusions one after the other, trigger injections, side effects to the meds and battling stress thinking how and what to do ...dear God YES I believe you have had enough to kill a huge animal or several women. I have dreamt of Cream more than I would ever have though. I see him as a vision when I feel the blop on the bed, I think he just ran across the yard, I think I hear him at the side door, I touch his whiskers placed in the Holy Bible and cry. I, too have awoken in a hot sweat after a bad dream of him trying to come to me and I cannot reach out far enough to catch him. Yes, I have gone through all of these same things..it's the NO CLOSURE. I can deal with death. I have helped others through death. I have been in a place where death occurs everyday. I accept death as a natural event that can be expected or come as total shock. It has to happen to each person before they can give out advice. There is no way to try to explain your feeling with someone else's. They have no idea to compare what you have been through versus what they think would compare to yours. YOUR STRESS `OVER ALL OF THIS TIME` MARKS ITS MAJOR REASONS! Time is the greatest healer. I lost my n mother first. I thought I would never be the same functioning woman ever, then before I came here, I lost my father. I was totally crushed. But I had closure and wonderful memories in bit and pieces to hang on to and live by their teachings.
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