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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,065
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Waves of sadness--advice?

@srgtdj...my sincere condolences.   It's very sad to lose our pets.  As for your waves of grief, its ok... all of deal with grief as we need to.  Just give yourself time.  From everything you said, it sure looks like you've done the best considering the circumstances.   I want to share something I went through with my cat of 15years.   As he became sick, he seemed to isolate himself more and more.  He had ear cancer.  At first it was treated for an infection but quickly progressed .  There were times I couldn't find him...he would go into and under anything.  Sometimes under my husband's workbench, sometimes under the cover of our bar b q grill, tucked into the bottom shelf.  If I let him out, I'd have to crawl under hubbys truck to bring him in.  I couldn't understand why he would hide, when I was there for him, hand feeding,  medicating his ear and cleaning him.  He lovingly accepted my care and always meowed and purred for me.  But what I learned is most cats have alot of pride, and some choose to be private and alone at the end.  Kitty was suffering and his organs began to shut down,  so I couldn't let it continue.   What I'd like to say to you, is, your cat chose a place most secure.  Perhaps being alone was the most comfortable choice.  I'd respect that, and know your cat knew you gave your best!!   I honestly believe my cat would've preferred to go alone too...but time lingered and he was already suffering.   You did well, and wish you the best on your next kitty 😊

Super Contributor
Posts: 303
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Waves of sadness--advice?

[ Edited ]

Thanks so much to all.  Just to clarify--we had both cats checked by a cardiologist within 6 months of their passing.  So I intellectually know that we did all we could.  They got a clean report.  It's just the emtional feeling of not being able to protect my babies that sweeps over me.

 

I know that they never went without care they needed.  I spent many a night sitting up all night holding them when they did have sickness or injuries.  My 2 girls were sick a lot in their lives.  ****** breeder.   But I was a Mommy--and I'd hold them, watch them, bandage them, etc.

 

If only we had the power to make them live forever.  But of course I know from experience that wouldn't be the right answer either.  I adopted rescue greyhounds for years.  If I hadn't lost my greyhounds I never would have experienced my kitten girls.

 

A new set of kittens will come when the time is right.

 

Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers and good advice.   These furry members give SO much love and make life so much richer.

 

And finally my thoughts to all of you who also have pets waiting across the Rainbow Bridge.  What a glorious place that must be!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,481
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Waves of sadness--advice?

@srgtdj

 

I am sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose a pet. We once had a poster that shared her thoughts on pets being on loan to us from God. I smiled because I realized we never really own our pets. It seems like we share a moment in time with eachother.

 

Maybe take time to either journal your feelings about your cats or take a journey through a labyrinth. There probably is one near you even if it is at a different church. Take a sheet of paper and write your note to kitty and put a piece of temptation in the paper and fold it up. As you walk through the labyrinth reflect on the joys of the time you had with your cats.Take your time to walk through it. When you get to the center put the note in the center and light it. As it burns it is carried to your cats. Clean any residue and start your journey back. As you come back reflect on your cat being safe and happy in God's care.

 

 

doxie

Super Contributor
Posts: 307
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Waves of sadness--advice?

I am so very sorry.  You did everything you could have for your kitties.  Honor your kitties by getting another rescue kitty or kitties.   I know how you feel I lost 5 feral kitties in 2018.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 79
Registered: ‎05-10-2016

Re: Waves of sadness--advice?

First, please accept my condolences.  Second, check with your vet - mine offers pet grief counseling and it really helped me.  I'm glad you are at least open to getting a new kitten, it can help tremendously.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,563
Registered: ‎09-21-2018

Re: Waves of sadness--advice?

@srgtdj

The sadness you're experiencing is normal & many of us have gone thru it also.  For me, when I lost my Jasper 18 yrs. ago, to this day, he's still as fresh in my mind & my heart.  Your kitties will be with you forever this way too.

After I had Jasper put down (he was very sick) I promised my husband I'd never go thru the heartbreak again.  I still miss him terribly.  We were very attached.  My neighbors all got a kick out of him how he waited on the porch for me to come home after work.  So many other unique characteristics.  Anyways, back on track .. my husband convinced me that a house is not a home without a pet.  So, we adopted our 2 senior cats (kittens at the time) & I've never looked back.  I'm pretty sure in time, you'll feel the need to adopt again, love them & them back to you.  Just wait, in time, you'll feel ready.

Be kind to yourself, time does heal & you'll find peace knowing your kitties knew you loved them the best.