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Valued Contributor
Posts: 582
Registered: ‎08-26-2017

Re: Should I tell him or not?

I agree with those who said don't tell him.  The sorrow could be too much, given his age and everything.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,890
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: Should I tell him or not?

@hyacinth003I'm sorry you and Buddy had to go through all that.  You Did try. That's what you tell your Dad.  you took him to the Doctor to try to help but there was nothing they could do.  I'm not sure why your father is in assisted living  but even if it is memory problems it seems the farther back a memory is the more likely they are to remember it.  Your Dad may be of an age that Taking a Dog to the Vererinarian for help was a big deal and if the Vet said there was no hope than that was it.  It's sad that one of his Buddies had to pass on but you were there to care for him until the end.  Thanks for that.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,997
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Should I tell him or not?

I have not told my brother or his wife, so no one knows.  My dad remembers him.  As I said, he seems more detatched about things in life.  It may be right that he knows the dog has been cared for, so he doesn't need to think about it.  For the few months we had Buddy that my dad was still in his house, he threatened to demand the dog back.  He said he really missed him.  But I KNEW he couldn't properly care for him and just kept putting it off!

 

Well, I spent the night in the ER with my dad.  He is having congestive heart failure.  So, no way am I saying anything for awhile!

 

Hyacinth

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,469
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Should I tell him or not?

@hyacinth003 Oh no, you have so much on your plate.  Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way.

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,454
Registered: ‎01-13-2013

Re: Should I tell him or not?

[ Edited ]

I wouldn't tell him.

It would just make him sad and add to the burden he is already carrying.

 

If I had to lie to spare his feelings I would lie.

 

(I don't think that counts as a lie, anyway.)

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,835
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Should I tell him or not?

@hyacinth003     It depends on your dad... If he is "all there" and is living a full life with no dementia or the like... then if he asks tell him... but if your Dad is not fully capable of dealing with the death of his little friend. why tell him and upset him?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: Should I tell him or not?

Seeing that he has not asked....I would not bring it up.  If one day he does ask, then (and only then) would I break it to him gently.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,469
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Should I tell him or not?

@hyacinth003  this might not be the forum for it but I don't care.  How's dad doing?

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,997
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Should I tell him or not?


@Bird mama wrote:

@hyacinth003  this might not be the forum for it but I don't care.  How's dad doing?


Thank you so much for asking.  He is tired and getting testing.  We are not pushing for discharge and want them to figure out and start treatment.

 

Wouldn't you know - he asked my daughter about Buddy today!  She said he's okay. 

 

We received a ceramic paw print from Buddy today.  Just tears your heart up.  No one but us know.

 

Hyacinth

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: Should I tell him or not?


@hyacinth003 wrote:

He's never asked in the time he's been there.

 

My dad is more detatched from things these days.  I would have brought him, but he's not really house trained and we were afraid he would go on the carpet there.  Other people, including my brother, have brought their dogs.

 

Hyacinth


Under these circumstances I'd probably not tell him, unless he asks. If he asks, then I'd be honest. 

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